perimenopause hell

I feel so bad for you going through all of this too Your sysmptoms are so similar to mine.  I'm 45, so am just told 'it's too early for menopause' and brushed off.  The horrible sunburn feeling I get every month during my period is put down to anxiety - along with everything else.  But anti-anxiety meds make it worse and then I'm seen as not cooperative for following a treatment plan.  It's so hard to deal with. My health anxiety is unmanageable at times.  It takes over my life when my hormones are right out of whack and will last up to 2 weeks.  The insomnia doesn't help.  I am really struggling today.  I have had to come to my mom's place for a couple of days because i can't manage at home and I feel so guilty for how much I am upsetting my kids.  I hope i can get through this...it's really tough.  There is no good medical care in our area, so I am rushed in and out when I got the the health team.  I feel like I can't get a handle on this. It's so scary

Hi Linda I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. I know exactly where you are coming from. Last summer I feel like my hormones took a major dive. I thought that I was going crazy. I experienced crying, major fatigue, doom and gloom feelings, loss of appetite, major anxiety, nouse sensitivity and on and on. I went to five different doctors(they said I was in deppression and that my bloodwork was normal) before one doctor finally told me that I was in perimenopause. She just hugged me and listened to how I was feeling. She never looked at my bloodwork. I thank God for her! It was very scary and I thought that I would not be able to continue on with the feelings that I felt mentally. It took about 3-5 months for me to be able to realize that all of this is hormone related. Some of the things that help me are light walks everyday...even if you don't feel like it, keeping your mind active (coloring, gardening or even laundry anything), daily devotionals and watching light comedy movies. You will feel better soon...trust me! It takes a little time but you will feel better. I still feel anxious and have bad days but not everyday is bad like it used to be. Now is the time for you to be gentle with yourself. I will be praying for you. Take care!

I cant believe they can say you are too young at 45, this must add to your anxiety, at least if we can get a label on what is happening to us, it helps! I am 53 now and alot of the symptoms have died down but im still getting anxiety and panic at times but it doesnt help suffering from panic (phobia disorder anyway) I had my ovaries out two years due to family history so I was plunged into medical menopause, even though I started to go through it at 50. I would say that I still get some of the symptoms but less severe like not sleeping at night, sometimes I can sleep better for a while. I still get moments where I come over hot too! Thankfully the health anxiety isnt really there now it is just feeling anxious and panicky sometimes which holds me back. I wish you well on your journey and hopefully soon you will be out the otherside. I can say that I dont wake up now dreading the day which sometimes happened xx

I'm relieved to have found this forum...it's helping with my anxiety.  I was so alone with it and had no idea that it is so common to suffer like this.  The medical system is a brutal environment for women going through so much hormonal stress - it becomes kind of traumatizing.  Knowing that my syptoms are so common gives me a little more confidence to ask some more questions and not get pushed away.  I wish that all of you weren't going through same, but am so glad you're on here sharing the journey.  It's shocking to me that I read some threads and it's like I could have written it....I'm glad to hear it gets better eventually.  Thank you for the kind words xxx

I feel like I have to educate these doctors. It's so ridiculous. Today I went back to the ortho thinking I'd be able to get another cortisone shot for the excruiating pain in my shoulder. Kind of had an argument with him about it being caused by hormones, I explained to him about in Japan it's the number one symptom in women going thru meno and his answer was "that because they eat too much fish". God, what an a-hole. So after waiting an hour to see him (he insisted on the follow up appt) I sit there and he tells me there is nothing I can do but therapy and tramadol for the pain, which I won't take. No shot because it's too soon. What a waste of my time and my money. 

The women with extreme symptoms like mine must be very rare if no doctors even know about them. Even the doctors that acknowledge hormones could be to blame say that the symptoms shouldn't be as extreme as what I have. But then I see women on this forum that have most of what I've been through. It helps. But now I'm still having anxiety thinking I have something else going on..like uterine cancer because I've been bleeding and spotting for a month (had two vag u/s, think that would've showed something though?) or if perimeno has brought up old Lyme Disease from the 90s. My neighbor down the street has the same severe symptoms as me and she swears it's from Lyme Disease being made worse by perimeno (she had LD a few years back). She's doing heavy duty antbx and now has c-difficile. I think, what if it's just hormones (she's 51), or what if I have LD again. Guess my anxiety is still hanging around, it's hard when you just don't know and doctors can't help.

OK, my rant is over for the day. Sorry for the vent. 

My symptoms are really extreme too.  I'll be 46 this year and I had a major episode last year and one just recently that knocked me sideways. Instead of the usual one or two symptoms at a time that is hard enough - both episodes have blasted me with every symptom at once for days on end.  It is sheer hell.  What I've noticed is that any other underlying health issue I have (mild asthma, stomach issues, high heart rate etc) are HUGELY exxacerbated when my hormones get so out of whack.  It's so much to deal with at once.  It's like my body goes into an immune overload response.  Doctors can be dismissive to the point of rudeness.  I've been talked to like I'm a total mental case who's just decided to make her own life hell because I've got nothing better to do I suppose.  it's awful. And please vent away....I will be on here venting alot lol...

I was hit head on in August. Have been sick ever since. It took me a long time to believe this could all be perimeno. And it didn't help when I had doctors telling me I definitely wasn't in perimeno. I'd be like, I'm 52, and I'm not peri? Now I believe they might've meant I wasn't in meno, and they most likely don't even know what peri is!

I've had the same as you, gastritis, high heart rate, breathing issues, and also these: feeling like I was dying because so sick, shaking, cold intolerance, pain in my upper back, eye flashes, bad gall bladder removed, ovarian cysts, fibrocystic breasts with huge cysts, anxiety and my newest is frozen shoulder and continuous spotting. Oh and now my left foot is burning for some reason. I'm sure I left off some things, I've lost count of all the crazy symptoms.

My sister calls this whole thing a curse, she's still having some issues at age 57.

I started BHRT almost two weeks ago, and I keep praying it's going to work. I seriously don't think I can handle any more of this. So far I'm not great. But I'm not awful anymore. Are you taking anything?

I'm not taking anything right now...I'm only just realizing what's been going on.  I've been like a deer in headlights with this for awhile, just waiting to get run over and no idea what the hell is going on.  I've been seeing doctors for a lot of issues seperately too - which has made me come across like a hypochondriac headcase.  It's been really hard on my self esteem.  I'm seeing a new doctor on friday - my husband just made the appointment today.  I'm going to try and start off a little more assertive.  It's hard when my anxiety is so bad though...I'm a bit of a shaky mess right now after just having come through a crash that i didn't handle well.  Friday seems like a lifetime away.  I'm trying not to dwell on it and obsess about what to say, how to be heard etc.  I have fibrocystic breasts too - with one really big cyst on one side.  Possibly ovarian cysts...I'm going to ask to be checked.  the cold intolerance is awful.  my poor mom is sweating in her little condo because I have the heat on with 2 pair of socks.  Please keep me posted on your progress with BHRT.  I really think I want to try something to see if it works....this can't get any worse so it's worth trying

I can't even tell you how many times I broke down in tears to various doctors. All that makes them want to do is to suggest antidepressants! I've never had a problem with anxiety or depression in my life but going through all this and not knowing what's wrong can definitely cause this.

I even hired a concierge doc to find out what was wrong. He eventually found the bad gall bladder, but after that came out and I was still a shaky sick mess he declared, with a big smile on his face, that there was nothing wrong with me! Just exercise an hour a day and you'll be fine.

Then I just went from doctor to doctor grasping at straws, but I think the concierge doc wrote notes saying it was in my head, so when I walked in I was already labeled as crazy. It's so freaking frustrating.

When you finally figure out its most likely perimeno they will do bloodwork and tell you you aren't in perimeno. So just a heads up!

Wow Suzanne...it's like you're writing about my life right now.  I sooo feel your pain.  my expectations for friday appointemnt aren't very high...I'm just hoping the doctor isn't really condesending and I've wasted my time.  It's a concierge doctor too - so this is now costing money and alot of travel.  But I don't know what else to do.  I'm also scared of finding something seriously wrong because my health anxierty is sky high right now

Where are you?

I'm in Florida.

Having gone through all of this already, I'd really recommend that you find someone who deals with hormones if you are up for that. For me, I was so rock bottom I felt I didn't have a choice. And all the GYN could offer was synthetic hormones and birth control pills, neither of which I was willing to do.

Wish I would've known before I spent over 20 grand in doctors!

I'm in Ontario Canada and our health system is mostly public.  It sounds good but is actually a nightmare.  Wait lists for specialists are long and if you don't get any good info you don't have another physician option.  Private doctors are few and far between - so my options are limited, but I'm hoping to get a good referral.  I don't even know where to start.  Would you recommend trying BHRT?

Linda, I want to thiank you for this comment.  People seem to think that socialized health care is so wonderful.  Only those who live with it truly understand how restrictive and difficult it can be.  I've also heard this same comment from people in Europe.  

I'm soory you don't have much choice and your choices are limited.  Hope you get some help and someone who will really focus on your needs.  That's half the battle.  

It might be worth it to come to the states to see a doctor who knows what they are doing with BHRT. Unless you are ok with synthetic. For me, I knew I didn't want to do synthetics. The GYN wanted me on birth control, that wasn't cool with me either. Also, taking bloodwork to show you are in peri is tricky business. I had three tests, one showed normal, one showed slightly lower progesterone and the last one showed hardly any progesterone and high estrogen. A good hormone doc will treat you by your symptoms along with checking your labs. I started BHRT almost 2 weeks ago, cream that has estrogen/progesterone/testosterone and also taking progesterone oral at bedtime.

It's too soon to say it's working, but I'm def better then I have been, that's for sure.

I never thought I'd be using hormones but I really had no choice since my quality of life was so bad.

Socialized health care puts all of the power in one agency - and it's more bureacratic than health focused. If the health care system can't meet your needs - which it often can't - there is nowhere else to turn.  It's like dealing with the IRS or DMV while going through health problems.  Appointments are hard to get, doctors keep them as short as possible (usually under 10 mins), follow up is patients responsibility, additional 'unneccesary' testing is discouraged as the system is always financially strapped....I would prefer to pay and get what I need.

Sorry Linda, that the system makes it even harder to get some help. 

I've heard this same thing from many people.  This is part of the problem when government gets involved with health care, it becomes a bureacracy.  

I'm sure they do want to limit testing to keep costs down.  (NOT helpful)

Is there any way you could get to a holistic doctor there outside of the gov run health care system?   

I am going to a private doctor on Friday and hoping to get some direction.  It's a medical centre and the doctor is an MD - but these kinds of clinics aren't technically allowed in Canada, so they run under the banner of 'executive health care'...meaning they are only in Toronto and very expensive.  Not sure why these are the only private doctor clinics allowed.  It's a strange system...private doctors are frowned upon unless you're an 'execuitive' with lots of money to spend?? I don't understand it.  But it means there are very few private and resonably priced options for people who can afford to pay out of pocket but aren't filthy rich. It's frustrating and adds so much to the stress.

Oh boy, that's sounds horrible.  But I'll keep my fingers crossed that this Dr. knows what he's doing and can give you some help.  

Let us know how this appointment goes.  

Thank you Gailannie <3

Linda I'm asthmatic too how do you cope because sometimes if worry I can't breath it's scary hope you are OK with that nobody much on here suffers with it on the forum

Maria - it is scary.  And doctors are so dismissive.  I recently read an article where medical researchers found that women's hormones during menopause greatly affect their breathing.  The article said any underlying breathing disorder is worse before and during menopause.  Do doctors not read any of the published literature on hormonal imbablances?  There's so much out there to prove we are suffering.  My mum has asthma and it was at it's raging worst in her later 40's early 50's.  I had to take her to the hospital for oxygen once.  It's important to find out what your asthma triggers are - it's usually allergy.  Have you seen an allergist?  Once you know your triggers and avoid them, it gets a little easier.  Get tested for celiac.  My mum found out late in life she has celiac disease.  She had no symptoms but asthma.  The specialist told her that asthma is often caused by celiac, so I don't know why they don't test right away.  I'm badly allergic to molds and I wasn't aware.  I don't go out for walks when the snow is just melting and mold is in the air, and I'm really careful about keeping the house mold free (you'd be surprised where it hides).  I'm careful about the time of year when I leave windows open at night too. When I feel even a little allergy coming on, I take singular allergy tablet at night before bed.  It's an allergy pill specifically for allergy triggered asthma. I also use a nose spray pretty regularly - most irritants get into the lungs through the nose.  And as hard as it is - practice nose breathing so you are never breathing through your mouth.  It's really hard at first but gets easier.  Asthma turns us into mouth breathers and mouth breathing is terrible for the lungs.  The mouth doesn't filter the air and clean it before it goes to the lungs - the nose does.  Relying on inhalers alone is too reactive and scary.  I'm not sure why doctors even recommend that.  If you need your steroid inhaler everyday, then take it. But if you are taking Ventolin often then your asthma isn't managed properly

My asthma is manage with one of my inhalers and so far 8 years into the menopause iam ok so far the ventolin now I use less of now dr change the brown to pink so I'm managing ok so far but because meno is in progress I just get bit worried that's all.

Of course you get worried.  So do I. It's really scary and overwhelming <3

Hi Linda

I have exact same symptoms and wishing to stay in bed all day, sometimes. Just wondering how do you deal with this. Thanks a lot!