perimenopause or depression

Posted , 13 users are following.

Hi everyone

Truly having a terrible time having lost both my dog and my dad in the last few months. Doctor said i was depressed in December and suggested mindfulness meditation, yeah right.

I have only had 3 periods in a year, the last one in November. Im 46 and only have one ovary.

Perimenopause has only just occurred to me, i am at rock bottom.

I am very low, pushing everyone away, lost interest and confidence at work.

I have no interest in how i look or clothes. No interest in sex or socialising.

I have limp hair, peeling nails, bloated stomach and constant pain in right side below ribs, constant aches and pains, i get hot flashes and hot feeling in gums, always feeling like i have something seriously wrong. My eye bags and lack if sleep make me feel and look so old.

Dont know whether to go back to gp or try some alternativs

I don't have any friends to talk to, i would appreciate some advice, thanks tracey

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22 Replies

  • Posted

    Hello traceyf46,

    You are not alone and I can relate to exactly what you are talking about. Just take it easy and be kind to, yourself as it shall all pass. Some days are better. hwell hugs mys dear

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  • Posted

    Hi tracey 

    big hugs to you, you have been through alot havent you..

    peri menopause makes you feel depressed and anxious .. Hormonal anxiety 

    have a click on this B6 helps lots and ladies and certainly helped me

    jay x

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    • Posted


      i am surprised your doctor never thought about peri menopause .

      i am age 50 and post menopause now.

      i take lots of Vits and supplements 

      as your down to 3 periods a year, this is the best time for a FSH blood test to see if your in menopause range ..

      12 months no period can indicate post menopause 

      gyno is the best to see for ladies issues, GP'S dont really understand and always seem to push anti depressants ( which do help some ladies) but they never seem to address its menopause  

      jay x

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  • Posted

    Aww Tracey I am so sorry for your loss, you must be devastated.... My god some of these doctors have a damn cheek to pick up a Salary every month!!! You are having to cope with so much and so many emotions hitting you all at once. Wish I could give you a big hug right now!!💓. Plenty of lovely ladies on this site with plenty of support to help or even just someone to listen 😊. All your symptoms are all real and many of us going through exactly the same menopaus symptoms. It's so very hard but the more you talk about it I feel it helps tremendously, even just to know you are not alone and not going mad. I'm 53 now & probably been going on since I was in my 40's more so the last 2/3 years at its worse and without this site and the ladies to talk to I think I would not be here. It does get better...😉 you keep strong and try and be positive if you can, positive thoughts bring positive outcomes. Sending a huge hug to you here anytime 💓xx
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  • Posted

    You do certainly sound very low Tracey and you've certainly been and going through a tough time. The perimenopause has all of those things you've mentioned and more :-( and it's hard to just click out of feeling low. The one thing that works for me is my reflexologist, she puts my hormones back into sync and can tell me if they're just not right. There might not be anything in it but makes me feel a whole lot better. Getting outside in the fresh air just walking sometimes makes you feel better. I really do wish you better
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  • Posted

    You've bben through alot give yourself a break, when your low everything seems wrong. It sounds like you may have slipped into a depression, please go and chat to your GP and see what support is available for you xxxx
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  • Posted

    Hiya traceyf

    Firstly, you have my complete sympathy regarding your terrible loses.  Grief is a bugger that can grip you. I'll tell you truthfully that it will ease with time and that you'll eventually forget this sad times and instead remember, smile and laugh about the really lovely times.  But it don't happen overnight, so you grieve for your Dad and your dog (we're pet lovers in this house).

    My father-in-law died after 8mths in hospital. I went to my GP and ranting on about wanting 'blood tests to check my hormone levels ...... starting menopause.......hate heavy bleeding.....' and then I started to tell her about my F-i-L: and I just burst into tears!  She was very sweet, let me blub, and explained to me that I was experiencing all the symptoms of grief and that its a very normal reaction to losing someone we love. No offer of pills or 'qwack'-alternative stuff. Just sound advice. 

    I felt so much better offloading to her.  But truth be known, I was probably in the start of the long journey of Peri - just like you sound to be.

    Are you in the UK?  The reason I ask was that on Monday and Tuesday this week I read the online version of the Daily Mail. On their Health section on Monday they had a brilliant article featuring 3 Peri women who were treated for depression, with SSRIs, but in fact were in need of HRT.  On Tuesday they had an article which found asthmatic symptoms (breathing in general) became more adverse just before a Period.  If you can access them (I'm not much cop with computers, so haven't a clue how to share a link on this I'm afraidneutral), they might help you prepare yourself to go see your Doc.

    You sound just like the rest of us!  All the symptoms you note are much the same as mine...and her's, and her's, and ....!   Horrible ain't it? 

    No need to feel alone:  I think the kindness shown on this forum will make you feel so much better.  Have a look around some discussion threads. There's great advice.

    I only found this site when I had the right hump just before Xmas:  been a really good place to let off steam/ask questions/get answers.

    But first things first:  get back to the GP. Tell them your symptoms. Ask for a bloodtest to check your levels (may not be conclusive as they're probably all over the place), but talk about Peri and ask about their treatment of Menopause generally. 

    The impression I get off this site is that GP's have never even heard of the Perimenopause, let alone know how to treat it, so you go inform him/her!

    Chin Up Kidbiggrin!

    S x

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  • Posted

    Hi Tracey. I am really feeling for you. I know how it feels. You going through difficult time. But you need help and support. Please, try to get help. Things will get better soon. It's a phase we all going through.
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  • Posted

    I've hit menopause a bit hard after surgery but my sister in-law (experiencing normal meno) has warned me about some of the symptoms you'resuffering.

    It might be the grief from your losses but I think that combined with your Peri symptoms is double trouble.

    Give yourself a break and try not to worry about feeling low.

    If your GP doesn't take you seriously ask for a second opinion, someone out there (other than us) will!

    Take care

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  • Posted

    Hi Tracey

    I am 46 too and I just started menopause myself so I understand what you are going through. I myself have been dealing with a lot of anxieties, mood changes getting angry then crying, i myself don't have a lot of friends but with having depression and anxieties in me I go to a mental health facility to talk about things. 

    My doctor is going to talk to my psych doctor about a small dose of zoloft to help with my moods and anxieties. 

    Maybe this is what you need or maybe you need to talk to a therapist. 

    Tell yourself thatv you are a good person and that you are going to be okay. You will be fine and things will work out for you. Here some hugs from merazzsmile things are always green on the other side of the rainbow. 

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    • Posted


      Thinking of you tonight and praying you are doing well. Remember, this does pass and right now while the hormones are sorting themselves out is when things can be a bit dicey for us.

      I pray Zoloft works as well for you as it did for me. It was a very subtle improvement, but just what I needed to help boost myself up a bit to do other things to help myself along here. Plus I found this site which has been such a blessing.

      I also did a bit of talk therapy as there were a few issues that needed to be resolved and I'm thankful for finally putting to rest some of my long time worries. I feel much better these days and I've been off the Zoloft since early last Fall. Trust me, there has been commotion since then, but I am learning to deal with things differently and overall, I really believe the bouncing hormones are settling down a bit.

      Not to say I still don't have those silly days, I do, but they are becoming less and less.

      Remember, one of us are always here for you when you are feeling a bit funky. smile

      Annie xx

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  • Posted

    Hi Tracey,

    Very sorry about the loss of your dog and your dad most recently. It's very difficult to lose the ones we are so close to. 

    I am a bit surprised the doc thought mindful meditation was a good idea at this point. I know when I went through a series of losses very close together, that was the last possible thing I would have been able to do at the time.  My way of dealing with grief was to try and keep as busy as possible. Not always successful at the time, I might add, but I did the best I could for that time period.

    I don't know if I realized that the peri was making things a bit worse, so you are ahead of the game there and that can actually help you decide on what to tackle first. You do sound a bit sad and I wonder if you could see a grief counselor to help you sort out the losses. It helped me talk to someone, but wasn't the be all end all solution to that time either, but non the less, it did get me into the right direction. 

    Your feelings of feeling like you have something seriously wrong does sound like Peri-wow-what didn't I feel was wrong with me back then? Yikes! Was constantly to the docs for a good year, my vision was flucuating, headaches, crazy-heavy periods, aches, moods swings so out of control.....I could go on. And the exhaustion.......holy smokes.........crushing fatigue!

    Good to speak with your GP, I did and I keep him to this day informed of what else I have done or who else I have seen. I briefly switched GYNs, but now the original is on board with a more sensible approach to this time frame and honestly, after quite some time (at the time felt like eternity) I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel! I actually had my GYN look at this site because I got so frustrated with cockmaney suggestions from him, I thought it might be good for him to become familiar with what is really a good majority of his practice since he has recently stopped delivering babies! lol!

    A lot has to do with coming here to this site and learning, I am not alone, even though many days here in my own home, I do feel that way. I don't feel like the people around me understand. I'm married and wish the libido would wake up again, but again, in time things are starting to turn around in ways I thought they never would.

    So please start with the GP, see if they know of someone qualified to help your work through your grief, save the mindful meditation for down the road, and hopefully a GYN for you that can see what works best for you, be it HRTs, vitamins, exercise, SSRIs, talk therapy or whatever else to help you, will!

    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers Tracey!

    Annie xx

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