Please Help!
Posted , 33 users are following.
Hi. I'm new to this forum. Does anyone out there have the same experience with depression? Because I honestly feel like the only person who feels like this and life feels hopeless. I was a happy, confident, positive person who enjoyed life. For the past 3 months, I've had severe clinical depression and anxiety. Life is hell. I am in hell. I feel suicidal every second of every day. It never stops. The feeling never leaves me. I have an intensely bad feeling in my head, like something is wrong with my brain. It came on suddenly. Every day is a living nightmare. I wake up with shaking legs, a pounding heart, butterflies, adrenaline rushes throughout my body and a feeling of "Oh no, how on earth am I going to get thought the day?" I hardly sleep. I hate going to sleep because I know how I'm going to feel when I wake up. It's torture. I sit at the edge of my bed and can't stop jigging my leg up and down. Every day is unbearable but I have to bear it because I can't commit suicide. I wonder what to do with my day. I've had days where I've stayed in bed and those are horrendous. Or I force myself to get up. Just having a bath is monumentally difficult. Getting dressed is horrible. Doing any housework is terrifying and so difficult. I make myself go out and see people. I don't know how I find the strength to do it but I do. I walk with my partner in the evening. But the feeling never leaves. Early on in the depression, I was able to 'click out'. I'd suddenly feel normal and the depression and anxiety would vanish and I'd be okay for the evening. This happened a few times. I thought I was making headway but then I had a shock. Since then I've been dreadful. I can't ever click out of it and it's with me 24/7, no matter what I do. I've tried diversions - reading, writing, art, talking to people, films, everything, but nothing helps. All the things I used to love, I no longer want to do. I've been on Citalopram for 4.5 weeks but it hasn't kicked in - if anything I feel worse. I've just started CBT - I'm working on my negative thoughts. I feel many times like my head is going to explode. My brain feels ill. If someone talks to me intently for any length of time, my head feels like it's on fire and I am losing my mind. I can't think properly. Perhaps it's the drugs. Who knows. I want my life back. I want me back. I don't know how to do it. How does anyone come back from this? Will I get better? Has anyone else experienced depression in the same way? I'm in hell.
7 likes, 52 replies
elv meteor63
Posted
I am so sorry to hear about your depression and anxiety - life just suck when the Black Hound follows in your tracks!
Because you mention anxiety and depression after a shock, I suspect that, just maybe, you had a sort of nervous breakdown. You may think that the shock was too small for such a big reaction, but it is really sometimes the straw that broke the camels' back. You could be kept prisoner by this mental state for years and the worst thing about all this is that you cannot control your own behaviour or reactions whatsoever.
I rather believe in reprogramming one's own mind and behaviour, starting in being kind to yourself. It is important that YOU decide what you are going to think and do next in any situation, by
- reciting some positive key phrases. Never respond with negative answers;
- awarding yourself with a "hurray" in your mind when you managed a tricky
situation;
- having a small adventure every day;
- turning mishaps to your advantage;
- loving life! Yes, it sounds cheesy, but take a camera of any sort and off you go! Try to take as many pictures as you can of your surroundings as a sort of photo
diary. It could be a bee pollunating a flower, birds, people, buildings, an alley
cat...
Download it to your computer every night and edit your treasure of the day.
Zoom in to see the fantastic detail of everything. Every day becomes a new
expedition. Remember, they ALL eat bread: birds, fishes, dogs, cats, the whole
lot (just remember a respectful distance). You then discover we are all alike:
the same emotions, struggles and attempts at survival every day! There are so
many friends (and photo's) to make out there, so many adventures to have for
no money at all.
Never underestimate boredom: it is a frustrating, empty, negative demon that
infiltrates your mind, giving you time to think too much, accompanied by old
ghosts of losses long gone.
I hope that your tattered soul and battered self may turn from painful
introspection to unlocking life, which is all about colours, music, songs, dancing,
running, nature, a nice sneeze, loving something or someone some way or
another, and wonderful earth itself.
It worked for me...
.
neha10092 meteor63
Posted
Well..it,s been a year,but i wanted to say it...hopefully it helps you.
it,s been many years being in depression for me,yes,everyday,when i wake up at morning i feel to die...and for these years i coped it myself,as i was not able to tell it to my parents, you know they will be too a lot in tension. i live away from them,being unsuccessful,choosing a careerwhich i never wanted to,and still living. you know why?? i was spending some money on myself and suddenly a girl with torn clothes and picking rag was standing at the door of the shop.
for a moment i was paralysed...i felt if she was in my place how would she feel...how happy she would be to get clothes,that money and that room i am living.
is it really the end?? then i realised the problem is in me..and the problem is i donot know how to enjoy. it was hard to come back, but dear, i had that anger coming in me whenever i got depressed...the anger that am i weak to lose like this?? no i was not,i cried,i cried like hell,and believe me it is good to cry,to cry for no reason,it helps,then i would become normal,and moved on.
fact is i never gave up..
it is raining outside. because i felt lonely today morning i cried,cried till my heart was silent,and then i was okay...and am happy,just now...i do what i like to...but i never give up...just do not give up,fight it..cry,or shout,but do it..if you will not do it,it will lead you to think of suicide...after crying everything seems clear to me,as if, i can see the beauty...there is a lot to say..i do not know if you are still in this site or not...hope you are fine..it is really tough am, 22 and this stuff is in my head,i want to enjoy.
bye take care
james52831 meteor63
Posted
How are you doing, everything OK? I see that this post is 1 year old, I hope you're better
I read a lot about vitamin and mineral deficiency on the web, many of them give all sorts of anxiety, panic atatcks, depression, but some doctors seem not to take that into account.
It's just a thought, hope that helps
James
john48433 meteor63
Posted
Honestly they way i delt with it is through meditation and self reflection, there is no reason for you to be unhappy, happiness is a really a matter of perception, you cant FEEL happy you either are happy or you are not happy
google brainwave power music - it really helped me to start living my life
roberto96779 meteor63
Posted
roberto96779 meteor63
Posted
liam19603 meteor63
Posted
One day, a while ago, I went from being confident, strong and dependable to being quite anxious and feeling like I can't sit still. It started with some weird symptoms, which I then became obsessive about, at the very same time I was going through moving and major life changes. Then I started to worry about feeling confined or out of control.
I started taking medicine, at first just for panic attacks, which seemed to help some, but I was still excessively worried, to the point that I had to carry it with me all the time. I was convinced to try an SSRI, which I took for 16 days and I felt so much worse, it scared me. I couldn't sleep, I felt disinterested in everything and it was basically all from the drugs, as I had not ever had feelings like this before.
Now to the positive point....
For many people I think anxiety is a way of your body telling you you're dealing with too much. For me, I believe what I was dealing with was an amazing level of stress and the more I pushed to get through it, the more my adrenaline level shot up. The more normal that became for me, the more I pushed and pushed to accept the stress. Once things snapped and I started feeling the anxiety and stress, I worried and began suffering from physical symptoms and then that turned into a new reason to worry. Before you know it, you're not worrying just about the problems you needed to deal with, but the fact that you're not feeling normal and this is confusing or even scary, especially, because you're automatically assuming you're "mentally ill".
In my case, the first time I had a "breakthrough" was when I accepted that medicine alone, wasn't the issue. I started to realize that these medical feelings I was having was a result of anxiety and not dealing with the problems I needed to deal with. When I started gradually facing them, I started to feel like I was no longer trapped; like I could control my own destiny. You have to realize the feelings you're feeling are owned by you, take a deep breath, face them gradually and understand you do have the power to make your life whatever you want it to be.
For some people that may involved a therapist and having someone to "vent" to. For some it might involve medication until they can feel more in control. For some it might be making life changes that they've avoided and for others, it might be all 3 things, plus stuff I haven't even thought of.
The best thing I can say is get checked for anything you're worried about. Deal with a doctor you trust, who listens to you and make sure there is no underlying issue. See a therapist and be honest about your feelings. Take stock of the things you feel confined by or the things you feel you "need" to do and gradually fix them. You have the power to run your own life, truly. If you start thinking about things in this manner and have the support of some loving people, you can accomplish anything.
The reality is most of us who deal with anxiety have a hard time accepting that it's anxiety and that doesn't mean don't get checked out, it just means, that we need to understand we have the power to make ourselves feel sick OR to make ourselves feel better. So when we've accepted the path to feeling better and accepted that we're not "abnormal", we can release some of those worries and start moving towards enjoying life.
Best of luck to anyone who feels anxious. Talk to someone, help each other and work towards health and happiness. You definitely can regain it!
poofpooti meteor63
Posted
I'm sure you've tried every supplement out there. Most of it can't begin to make a difference, or change the hell we're going through. I want my life back too, at least what I can remember of it. But who can help? God? I'm tired of hearing that God can help. Maybe He can, maybe He can't...I don't know. All I know for sure is I'm still in Hell, God or Not!
Email me. We're brothers in Hell.
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Ihateweed89 meteor63
Posted
How are you doing these days?
I'm going through something similiar with the severe morning anxiety, severe depression, suicidal thoughts although I don't want to die, etc. I can't function, work, etc.
This was all triggered by a potential legal issue that arose and I didn't do anything. It freaked me out and I just snapped, the situation lasted 6 weeks so the anxiety was feeding and feeding and now that it's done I'm just very, very messed up.
Leah208 Ihateweed89
Posted
Mr._Moon meteor63
Posted
manish2580 meteor63
Posted
robinhonest meteor63
Posted
Wow I thought I was bad and I have been through nightmare after nightmare. This is a pharmacological issue. I took pharmacology so I can tell you are having serious reactions to the drug you are on. Maybe you should switch brands? I would see your health practioner for better assistance on this pronto!!! Good luck!
amanda33314 meteor63
Posted
nirav28 meteor63
Posted
My problem is same as you
Everything is same as you just everything
Please please help me
Please
Are there any any medecins ??
Plz rply
I needed
Plz