Please tell me it gets better

The bad thoughts are a side effect of anxiety and depression.  They will stop eventually and won't bother you.  The first few weeks are tough xx.

Everyone has bad thoughts, but usually they don't bother us and are normal just fleeting.  When you're anxious or depressed, your mind becomes tired and thoughts stick to a tired mind.  They can seem scary, and are often out of context, seeming huge.  Once the meds start to kick in and you begin  to recover, so too will the thoughts.  They will go.

I was plagued by bad thoughts, and even ordinary thinking was always negative.

You will get better, even though you can't see it or believe it.  I was the same.  When you're in that dark scary hole it's difficult to see a way out.  The meds will help soothe the anxiety, lessen the depression and the thoughts will become less intrusive.  Eventually it will all stop.

I never thought I'd get better, and after 15 years of illness I recovered on these meds.

Going out for a little exercise daily ie walking, cycle...... helps whilst you wait for recovery.  Also try and take a calm attitude to life in general ... walk slowly, drive slowly, get to bed early, eat well (if you can).  Try and accept it will be tough for a little while, trust in the meds, remind yourself you're not well and these feeling are temporary.  Remind yourself you WILL get better.

You will xxxx

K

Im now glad I had the experience of suffering this illness because I understood exactly what he went through.  He was very, very ill and it was a struggle ........ 9 months later he was completely well and continues to be his normal happy self again.

I know you feel you want an end to this suffering, and believe me, it will stop.  Us mums will do anything for our children.  When you are through all this, you will be a stronger, happier person.  It's like being reborn.

This meds works very, very slowly and you'll think there's no improvement, because it's hard to see.  But very slowly things happen.  The crying will cease, followed by the anxiety easing and the depression lifting.

Please believe you will get through this.  Listen to those of us who've been through it.  I've seen the same pattern you're going through right now, time after time ..... and it leads to recovery.

Just keep on taking the meds.  Accept everything that's happening at the moment - it will be tough - but it will stop.  Take the meds, on and on, pushing on, however you feel.  You won't see a goal in sight, but we'll keep assuring you that it's there.

Remember you have an illness.  You can't help whatever is happening at the moment.  Your illness is being treated and you will recover from this.

I promise that it gets better.

K x

I'll be seeing my doctor for my 4 week review on Friday and likely a sick note. I really want to see some improvement by then. I hear its best to stick to the same dose for about 6 weeks before increasing, which I really want to try and do

But I still have the feeling that this isn't helping and I may have to move up a dose :-(

Dont rush recovery either.  A larger dose doesn't necessarily make you better any quicker.  These meds will take their own sweet time.  Yes you may need a larger dose, but you won't know until you've been on this dose for a while.

You will uncomfortable for a while yet.  Remember, if you had a broken leg it would take a long time to heal and will hurt.  Even after its started to heal you'll get twinges and will take months before you're on your feet.  

Its the the same with this illness.

These meds really will work, even though you won't believe it yet.

I feel so bad today, I thought I felt some improvement yesterday but this morning I feel really low and wish I was dead

:-(

Such an unpleasant feeling. Oh my God

This is how recovery works - it comes in waves - up one minute, down the next.  This is normal.  You'll have many times when you feel despair, despondency, hopelessness ........ just go with the feeling, it's temporary, it will go in time.

Ive been there, I've phoned the doctor and sobbed down the phone, I phoned Samaritans one night too as couldn't take it anymore ........ but I'm here, recovered and enjoying life immensely.  

You will get over this.  It gets easier.  Hang on in there whilst you wait .... you will recover from this.

K xx

I managed to drive over to my house, feed my fish and go to the shop for milk but I still feel awful. Got the most horrible headache and I feel so tired

I rang the crisis team and they just told me my thoughts and actions affect my mood, well if that was the case I wouldn't be here! They said do something you'd normally enjoy but thats one of the reasons why I seeked treatment because all the pleasure has been gone for years!

They said the doc might increase my dose after 4 weeks but I'm not sure if that's a good idea or not. I'm so confused I just want to get better and not bother anyone and not want to hurt myself

Sleep and and appetite improved after a few weeks, but for some people it can be much longer.  It will improve.

Yes your thoughts and actions do affect your mood, but equally this illness is affecting your mood, and the mood makes you think negatively.  Doing something you enjoy does help, but I know that whatever you do won't make the blind bit of difference (at the moment).  When I was having a really time once, my friend said what I needed was a nice holiday.  I thought 'you have absolutely no idea'.  How many holidays had I been on when ill?  I simply took the illness with me and brought it home again.  You cannot step out of it by simply doing something ..... but you can of course do what you'd normally do and carry on as normally as you can whilst you wait.

When you have this illness you get trapped in a cycle.  Anxiety, depression, negative thinking, giving you more anxiety, depression, negative thinking ....... and so on.  These meds slowly ease the anxiety, the depression lifts and so to does the negative way of thinking.  

You cannot think clearly as your mind races, and all negative thoughts will lead back to feeling anxious.

When you're ill there is no pleasure in doing anything at all - not even things you love doing.  When I was recovering I had absolutely nothing inside me - I couldn't feel any joy.  I'd smile on the outside, but there was nothing on the inside.  I felt I was just existing, not living.

I wouldn't increase, not yet.  Not even after 4 weeks.  This awful illness will get better - the anxiety will go, the depression will lift and all the negative feelings will go too.  They will be replaced with feelings of happiness, and just joy at just being yourself again.

Many people have followed the same path as you, have felt the same as you and asked the same questions too.  Me too.  I never thought I'd get better.

Just keep taking the medication, take each day one at a time, know each day you're getting nearer to getting better ....... however hard it gets, just keep going.  It really does get better.

My son had it worse than me - he was terrified.  He's now a happy young man and is living his life to the full once again.

This will be you in time to come. xx