Poems and Thoughts

On the floor in a subconscious state, no one knows she exists, feels the worlds on her plate 

Nobody knows that she's even there, no one to talk to and no one to care 

Her frustration is overwhelming she feels the need to hurt, she hates herself, she's feeling like dirt 

She's going crazy, she's losing her mind 

Doesn't want to give up but feels that nows the time 

She's laid in the corner alone and so cold 

Nobody knows what happened, no one was told 

She took her life and no one knew why, she tried to reach out but they didn't hear her cry 

So she kept things to herself, didn't want to be a burden, Didn't want them to delve 

Into her life for they wouldn't understand, what she was going through, why she was sad 

She stayed withdrawn from the people that cared, didn't realise that of course they'd have been there 

But now it's too late she's taken her life, leaving her friends and family with the strife 

That troubled girl just needed some release 

And now all that can be said is 

'Rest in peace' 

If people only listened, if people only knew, 

But no one understands the things that I go through 

I wish I could run, I wish I could flee, but no matter where I run i'd still be me!

I'm my own worst enemy, a victim of my own mind, 

How can I have a better future if the past I can't leave behind.

So I'll just reach for that familiar bottle, drown my sorrows and then..in the morning when I wake, probably do it all over again 

Cos I see no other way, seems it's the only thing to work, to take away the sadness and the hurt 

I just want to know will it ever be different and if so then when? 

But until I get that answer I'll just get drunk again 

It's not the right thing to do, don't get me wrong, I know 

But I'll try anything to make this feeling go! 

Everyone wants happiness, it's what we all try to find, 

for a little bit of joy and a That little piece of mind 

The road may be long, there may be obstacles to push through, 

but once we reach our destination it'll be an amazing view 

So be your own counsellor, take your own advice, 

guide yourself to happiness for we don't get to live twice! 

Feeling sad, down and useless too

Life is so hard, wish I knew how to deal 

With the hassle, the stress and the pain that I feel 

Tired, broken, feel I've nothing left to give 

Times are so hard in this life that I live 

No one understands what goes on in my head

So I keep my problems to myself instead

Wake in the morning and dread the day

Wish I could sleep, wish I bed I could stay 

Tears keep on falling, scared they won't end

Till I make big changes and my life I can mend  

But it's not easy, believe me I've tried 

Seems lately all I can do is hide 

From all the struggles that I go through, 

It's not the best way but it's all I can do 

Tried to help myself but it's just too tough 

There's nothing more I can do 

Should I just give up?

I hide my hurt so that no one can see 

But I can't hide the tears running down my cheek 

My eyes are filled with the pain I'm feeling 

Before I know it the tears are streaming 

From my eyes and it's no surprise 

With what I have to deal with, what I've had to suffice 

I sit and think of a way out of this place 

As the teardrops still fall down my face 

I hate being like this, hate what I feel 

This pain that I go through is far too real 

My body is aching, I feel so weak 

The tears fall so hard they start to seep 

Into my pillow, it's soaked with the hurt 

This pain that I'm feeling is just the worst 

I'm hurting so much, my future looks bleak 

And these tears are still dripping down my cheek 

I look in the mirror and try to see

But I don't know the person looking back at me

Who is this girl? I am unsure 

She doesn't look the same as she did before 

Why is she different? I think for a while 

Her eyes full of emptiness, she has no smile 

I try to think and I try to see 

Why the reflection is there but it's not me 

I look once more, I stand and stare 

But the girl who once was is no longer there 

So I smash that mirror and I break that glass 

So I don't have to look and these feelings may pass 

Who was that girl? Who did I see?

Who was that looking back at me? 

But you pushed and pushed me, you forced my hand 

I didn't want this but was left with no choice 

You just wouldn't listen you didn't hear my voice 

I loved you so much that you will never know 

But you made things so tough for me and so I had to go 

Now I'm so far away I could never come home 

So I'm just trying to adjust to a life on my own 

But you won't let me do that, you're making it so tough 

Now I'm starting to hate you, now I've had enough 

I wish you would leave me alone, why can't you let me be?

I'm not doing anything wrong 

I'm just trying to be happy! 

And they're so surreal 

They'd gone for a little while 

And I'd started to feel

Normal again, even happy at times 

But now that's gone again 

And now I Just find 

Myself crying again, the thing I most hate 

Not being in control or able to concentrate

I almost wish that I'd always be like this 

Then the happy times at least I wont miss!

If you ever find yourself lost in the darkness and you can't see 

Don't think of what has happened and think of what could be 

If you ever find yourself on the edge and you think you'll drop 

Just Hold on tight with everything you've got 

If you ever find yourself drowning in the sea 

Don't give up, swim, keep kicking those feet 

If you ever find yourself right on the brink 

Don't ever give up for you're stronger than you think! 

Wondering when it all went wrong 

I can't stop from crying as I'm writing this song 

I'm falling and falling just can't seem to stop 

Need someone to help me but there's no one I've got 

I lay my head down in this now dark room 

Trying to forget, not let it consume 

I'm tossing and turning, just can't fall to sleep 

The longer I'm like this, the more I feel weak 

The more that I'm crying, the more my heart breaks 

When it's all gone I'm just left with this ache 

But I just can't surrender, I just can't give in 

But if my only battle is with myself 

Then how can I win? 

When they are just sad or having a bad day 

Used to think it was just a lie but now Ive seen it with my own eyes 

Thought it was nothing but a myth 

But now I know it truly exists

The hurt, the pain always at your side 

Making you feel scared and wanting to hide 

Losing sense of all self worth 

Crying so hard that it physically hurts 

Struggling to get through each day 

Waking in the morning and wishing it away 

now I know that it's so very real 

The pain we all go through and how we all feel

Life is full of feelings we don't always understand 

We deal with our lives depending which hand 

We're dealt with In life, we can only try our best 

Even though it puts every emotion we have to the test 

But we keep on trying, we keep on pushing through 

It's just how it is, it's what we have to do! 

It's not the best combination 

But here's some inspiration...

Don't give in to the first temptation 

You could end up with all sorts of complications 

Free your mind of all expectations 

As you may not like the revelations 

Don't let people fool you with manipulations 

Trust your instincts, forget all hesitations 

Don't have any reservations 

You are who you are with no duplications 

This won't stay with you for the duration 

So just be patient 

Don't have any resignations 

Seek within to find some motivation 

Then make your own arrangements 

To reach your destination 

And eventually your'll find oneself complacent! 

Even though my life seems so bad 

I'll never show you that white flag 

I may be suffering, I may be weak 

But I'll always get back on my feet 

You've put me through H.E.L.L 

But I'm still fighting, still here somehow 

I won't give up I won't give in 

You haven't beat me as I am still living 

So you should just leave, I'll show the door 

For I won't let you scare me anymore!