Reaching out for some advice.

Hi Ruth

Perhaps your anxiety increase is because you knew you were starting back to work rather than the increase? I know that my anxiety increases when I have to be somewhere such as taking my mother for an appointment or taking car to garage etc. For me it's the fear of losing control, I'm afraid of not being able to cope when I'm out. The thing is though when I am actually doing those things I'm usually ok, it's just the fear I put in my brain before I did those things. Once you get back into your routine you'll most likely be ok and it will actually help you forget the anxiety. I know it's not easy because when I had several weeks off work because of Anxiety I had to build myself up to going back to work by driving part of the way for a few days until I actually made the full journey. I know that work helped me overcome my anxiety then.

Hopefully after your first day back you will feel more relaxed. I do hope so.

Best wishes

Yes Ruth stay on ten you will recover on that dose.

Thanks Lina,

I do feel better on getting through the first day. And I did wind myself up about it yesterday, for sure. Definitely partly side effects, but fed the intensity with worrying

Got through the day, three more days to go. Just gonna have to cope with the waves as best I can. Jeez. Its an interesting life at the moment, not knowing how I am going to feel from one day to the next... 😕 But will get there. For sure.

How you doing, Lina?

Xx

Thanks Lois. Needed that reassurance. Felt like a loony for most of yesterday, thankfully a bit calmer this evening.

GP won't prescribe a benzo or sleep aid, so going to try your Benadryl trick.

Hi Ruth

You got trough the first day, that's terrific. I know it's not easy going back to work after a long break but you did it so well done. It takes a lot of courage and determination ?.

I'm still on 7.5mg. I've been feeling much better on 7.5 but Saturday I had a stressful day with my mother, she wound be up a bit. She doesn't understand the way I feel and she's missing out on our weekends away and shopping trips and like to get a little dig in now and again. She lives alone, quite healthy and active but relies on me a lot. I understand it must be frustrating her but I'm not in a position to do anything about it at the moment. That is what she doesn't understand.

Sunday was good, I went for a long walk by the sea with hubby, first time in months that I've felt like doing anything like that and I felt good all day. It was spontaneous and turned out good for both of us. He hasn't been feeling too well lately, he has trouble sleeping, always have done.

Today is another matter, I feel like a wet rag again. I woke with a headache and have been lightheaded on and off, a bit like a migraine feeling. It's just like you say about wondering what tomorrow will be like. Perhaps it's that 7 day thing you mentioned in a previous post lol. I can't say I feel anxious but these withdrawal/side effects set me back and then I worry about the way I feel and wonder how long is it going to last, so I suppose that's anxiety in a way. Always hoping for a better day tomorrow.

I hope each day now becomes easier for you . Perhaps keeping busy with your mind focussed on other things will help speed up the healing process, it did for me, however, I wasn't going through withdrawal or start up effects then. I was stable on 10mgs, it was just the anxiety of being off work for so long and not knowing how I would cope back in work.

Sending best wishes and good luck for tomorrow!🌻

Thanks so much Lina, did actually feel better for having to interact with people. It took me out of myself. School hols are lovely, but not so much when you're depressed and anxious....

Thanks for your good wishes.

Oof, family. You have to look after yourself first,for sure. Its a shame your mum has a little dig. She could use the opportunity to expand her circle a bit..... its hard isn't it? But you absolutely need to put your recovery first.

Likewise, wishing you a better day tomorrow, with more energy.

Best wishes to you x

Hi Ruth, whilst your settling on these, its well worth assisting them with things like massages which help the nervous system, mindfulness which helps the mind deal with symptoms and can assist with removing the fear of side effects so reducing anxiety. Magnesium is my personal wonder pill, exercise and cbt. Infact anything that can keep the mind occupied all helps with reducing anxiety.

I forgot to add, I know its hard to do things when suffering with depression and anxiety and it is a case of having to force ourselves and in my personal experience it has been worth the effort. At my worst I literally couldnt get out of bed and every movement was an effort, if my family didnt make my meals i would have never eaten. My first step in helping myself was to move, I kid you not, 6 months later I am now running two social groups and helping people starting over, being someone with previous severe social anxiety it amazes myself and overwhelms me at times that I am doing this, and I feel rough with consistent side effects. It took a major effort on my part, and its paid off.

Thanks Paula, only just saw this. Yep, got my magnesium now, too..... I've been ba k at work also after summer break. Felt like crap on Monday, but am so busy now that it has really helped me. Plus, I think the 10mg is working. Thank god!!

Am sure there will be a few blips, but I think I'm finally starting to turn the corner. Flipping eck. What a summer.

Hope you're well. Have you started your taper?

And thats amazing. Re the social groups. I'm quite an active person, which was why I was so weirded out when at my worst this summer..... I didn't even want to leave the house. Well done on making a difference to people.

I'm a therapist, and luckily this has coincided with taking a break from practising. Am starting again in October and that is giving me something to aim for. I do feel better these last three days, much less anxious, thank god.

I've managed to keep my running going throughout, and that has really helped too. Especially running in the park.

Thanks for your words of support. This forum has been such a godsend to me. It's amazing!

I feel the same about this forum, its helped with not feeling so alone with my struggles. Am starting my taper tonight on liquid cita, am hoping I have done enough research to avoid severe withdrawal, and will be monitoring my bp. Am dreading it, even though I hate my side effects, withdrawal from my other meds messed my life up and i have only just got it back. I dropped by 10mg last December and it took months to recover, although was tapering off another, I know I am going to feel tearful again.

Hope this goes well Paula... go slowly with the taper, as you know to do. Hope the first couple days have been OK.

How are you feeling Paula...??

Lois and Ruth, It didnt start well, I fell asleep accidentally due to long working hours and hadnt taken cita, and woke up at 3am with severe vertigo and nausea, could hardly walk, managed to grab cita, took about an hour to feel a bit better and have been wobbly since, with dizziness. My side effects are getting worse I need to speak to my doctor. Thank you both for asking. X

I am at a loss, I really dont know what to do.

Oh gosh, Paula. You usually take at night, don't you? Oh I see, so you didn't take it owing to falling asleep.

And that was three days ago? OK so, side effects of decrease may well be intense at the moment. How much have you decreased by, if you don't mind me asking. I think you were on 20 until 3 days ago?

Hang in there. Sending positive vibes and good wishes. You're going to recover.

I was on 20mg have tapered to 18mg - such a small taper for such a violent reaction.  Thank you so much for your good wishes, I wont give up, just find it upsetting I have to go through this, after all the time I have put in to avoid it.

Yes, that's indeed a sensitive reaction. It's so difficult to know how these reductions are going to effect us. Hope you can speak to your doctor tomorrow, and maybe they can suggest something for the nausea, at least.

Going through some of that myself, at the moment, but yours sounds severe.

Keeping you in good thoughts and wishes, Paula.

There's a great channel on recovery from depression on you tube by a guy named Douglas Bloch, and his mantra (borrowed from somewhere else) is 'this too shall pass.'

Great mantra. People are commenting on my forgetting things, just need to adapt to this, and will go with it.

Your message helps I hope your feeling better. Hugs x