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Sex after surgery???

Posted , 10 users are following.

Resting123
Resting123

Morning ladies,

I'm nearly 7 weeks post p&a repair and perenium repair. Last night, hubby and me tried to sex for first time. NOT SUCCESSFUL!!

Sorry for tmi.. Used lots of lube, but didn't even get full penetration. For me, it felt so tight and I was really tense as I was so scared. And even after a little was in, I burst into tears and pushed him off! Now I'm worried it's too tight?!

Can anyone please advise/ put my mind at rest??

I feel like I'm losing my virginity all over again and can't relax about it now sad

Thank you in advance

0 likes, 39 replies

39 Replies

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  • pam7653
    pam7653 Resting123

    Posted

    Ok here's some more tmi. I read on this site a few weeks ago to get a small vibrater (dildo) Practice with that first and use lots of lubrication. I am 5 weeks post op and not much to do but relax anyway so I got online and ordered something for my first attempt in Feb. I can tell you I've never been on one of these sites. Quite interesting I will say. I must be a prude. 😁 Don't be surprised by your mate, he said it sounded like fun. What? Maybe this will be the beginning of new experiences!

    Hahahaha

    • Resting123
      Resting123 pam7653

      Posted

      Hahaha... I can just imagine your partner asking what you've been doing today!! I have got one actually but it's all singing, dancing...it's not going anywhere near me at the moment!

      I may invest in a smaller one yes... God, this whole operation has been an eye opener lol

  • Unicorn53
    Unicorn53 Resting123

    Posted

    I didn't even attempt sex until about 12 weeks post op and felt exactly like you. It has taken a lot of time ,patience and lube to get back to anywhere near normal.Sometimes these operations narrow and shorten the vagina,which is what has happened in my case and I only had a rectocele repair.

    I also use organic coconut oil,get mine from Costco's,much cheaper than anywhere else. Good luck,it does get better

    • gwen04451
      gwen04451 Unicorn53

      Posted

      Hi Froglet, I notice that you had a rectocele repair the same as me. May I ask if they used mess or not? They used collagen mesh when I had mine in October and I've been fine. Not tried sex yet but had no discomfort when I had my post op check at 8 weeks.
    • Resting123
      Resting123 Unicorn53

      Posted

      Thank you froglet, I'm definitely going to get some. I think I'll wait a while before trying again too... Hopefully as other ladies have mentioned, it will get back to normal eventually.

      They didn't tell me about painful sex afterwards!! It's just come as a bit of a shock

    • Jan999
      Jan999 Resting123

      Posted

      Another reason why there's got to be more information to be given before and after surgery which is something we are working on.
    • debra25218
      debra25218 Jan999

      Posted

      Yes I agree..I remember my surgeon saying to me as soon as I sat down to discuss my prob,before he had a look,.how good is your work place about you having time off..!!!!
    • Unicorn53
      Unicorn53 gwen04451

      Posted

      No I don't think so Gwen,as far as I'm aware they just pushed up the rectocele and sewed it back.My perineum was very short due to being cut in childbirth,hence the tightness  now

       

    • Jan999
      Jan999 Unicorn53

      Posted

      If they'd used mesh Froglet you would know about it because it has to be fully discussed with you beforehand and it would have been documented on the consent form. Some Health Trusts actually have a completely separate consent form if the consultant is using mesh.
  • sueStace
    sueStace Resting123

    Posted

    Hi, I'm 10 weeks post op and still not managed successful intercourse! Felt like I've stitched up too tight and my cons said I may need to get some vaginal stretchers! However....and sorry if this is tmi, I bought a vibrator to help and it is, thank goodness easier, however hubby has bad back at the mo so not had chance the past week to try the real thing! Hope it does get better though, guess we just have to be patient and try to relax about it! Good luck x
  • agi6
    agi6 Resting123

    Posted

    Hi

    7 weeks wow you brave 😊. My gyne said I can have a sex at 12 weeks post op and I only have had anterior wall repair.

    I can see a different advices for you ladies, I live in Scotland, might thats why.

    Anyway I have got dildo hahaha

    Good luck next time.

    • Jan999
      Jan999 chris00938

      Posted

      You have to remember that just because 2 women have had the same operation it could have been performed slightly differently, a different type of catgut could have been used, one woman could have more sutures than another woman or their pelvic floor/vagina may have been more bruised or you could just have a Urogynaecologist who because he's done some research of his own he has decided when it's more appropriate or safe to have sex. There is no definitive answer without actually talking to your own surgeon.
    • chris00938
      chris00938 Jan999

      Posted

      Oh yes, I'm not saying it's the same for everyone:-)
    • Jan999
      Jan999 chris00938

      Posted

      I know you weren't chris I was just clarifying it for everyone who reads the posts because I've found that resuming sex is one of the main concerns ladies have following pelvic floor surgery and I felt it was an appropriate time to explain why ladies are often given different advice and why at 7 weeks some ladies may not have a problem but others would.
    • chris00938
      chris00938 Jan999

      Posted

      I think really there are quite a lot of questions that people need to list to ask their surgeon before their op, such as how long to wait for sex, bath or shower, when they can drive, what weight can be lifted when, and when they can go back to work, what to wash the area with, just for a few ideas to start with, because we've all been told various things on this, or not been told at all. 
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