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Shaking and crying!

Posted , 10 users are following.

pamela30172
pamela30172

Hi everyone

i have read so very many posts on re starting and sticking out on Citralopam and battling through the side effects and it has helped me to stay determined to try to just tough it out!

I started taking Citralopam 13 days ago .....10 mg for 5 days then went up to 20 mg.

Before this I had been on Dosulepin for around a month and a half....but as the GP thought this wasn't helping he changed me onto Cit.

I have only had a couple of times in my adult life where I have had episodes of depression/anxiety but they were easier to account for as to the cause/ reason.....this time everything seems to have come out of the blue and it's completely floored me!!

I have a loving husband of 35 years and two fabulous sons...and a family all of who are supportive and loving....I am one very lucky lady!

That's why it makes it so hard to understand where all these 'yukky' feelings have come from??!!

i am also trying CBT ...another first for me!

My question to you all is.....every morning I wake up around 5am feeling sick VERY shaky and VERY weepy....to the point of sobbing for quite a while!

After the sobbing subsides the shaking continues to a lesser degree all day...it's such a horrid disturbing feeling!

Has anyone else experienced the same? .....and better still can some one reassure me that after the 'magic' amount of weeks when the tabs start to kick in it will stop??

I am finding it so hard to cope with!

Thank you for listening to my rant.....any words of advice would be gratefully received.....like everyone else on here I just want 'me' back again and at the mo can't imagine getting there!

 

1 like, 76 replies

76 Replies

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  • pamela30172
    pamela30172

    Posted

    Hi Viv and fellow Pam!

    here I am again .....another morning of waking at 5 jittery shaky and then up till now....just stopped....sobbing!!

    im sooooooo disheartened after being so up for the last 4 weeks....what a kick in the teeth! 😕

    The one thing I'm clinging to is the memory of just how well those last four weeks have felt...and if I can feel like that then ....I can again 🙏

    With regards to your side effects apart from a few lucky peeps it seems most of us suffer for a couple of weeks then hopefully they subside....mine did...but feel they are attacking me again at mo....sad!

    i wish you both success and good health very soon ......punch that anxiety right where it hurts 👊😡

    kind regards 

    Pamela x

  • vivienne19443
    vivienne19443 pamela30172

    Posted

    Hi Pamela

    So sorry to hear about your latest setback. I had two attacks last week as well mine always happen in the early hours of the morning like 2 or 3 am. it is really disconcerting and frightening.

    It is only a setback nothing more and the medication will eventually work so try and ride the storm I'm suffering just like you so you are not alone .We can do it ! It's just that we are not as young as we used to be and our nervous systems not as resilient.

    I am reading a good book at the moment called "Coping with Anxiety"by Edmund Bourne and Lorna Garano ,Also" Reinventing your Life" by Jeffery E Young and Janet S Klosko. Both good for coping skills which we need in addition to our medication. Try and keep your chin up I'm sure there is a light at the end of the tunnel

    Vivi

     

  • pamela30172
    pamela30172

    Posted

    Hi Viv

    sitting writing this after a terrible night running to the loo and also feeling really nausea's again ....worse than in the beginning 😞

    I just don't get WHY these side effects have come back when they have been gone for over 4 weeks up until this week?? 

    Im in bed shaking,sweating,crying and unable to rest my hearts racing so much!

    ive done deep breathing off and on all night but I just can't relax....that's all I want so badly. 

    I just am in despair of what to do 😢

    Sorry to whine at you when you're not good either and I hope you can find relief very soon too

    sending hugs your way xx

    • The_sleepy_crow
      The_sleepy_crow pamela30172

      Posted

      Hi Pamela

      sorry to hear that you have had a rough night. I understand how awful you feel. Try to believe that this is a blip and try not to feel that you have taken a backwards step. It could be that you were excessively tired yesterday or it could be that you have picked up a cold virus that is making you feel run down. I know it is really hard, but you must believe that you are on the path to recovery. It won't be long until you feel like yourself again.

      xx

  • pamela30172
    pamela30172

    Posted

    Thanks so much sleepyC

    i have dragged myself into the shower and sorted some washing out and am now trying to push some porridge and a ban nan down my throat 😳

     hopefully like you say it's just a blip .......but last night was prob the worst night I've had since starting.....I've not been sleeping well but oh my....that was BAD?!

    so hate this! 😡

    hope you're doing ok?

    thanks again for taking the time to reply and your kind words ....they are very much appreciated xx

    • elizabeth00077
      elizabeth00077 pamela30172

      Posted

      Sorry your feeling rubbish Pam. 

      It's prob just a blip, it's like being on a roller coaster - ups & downs! If it's the worst you've felt, just think it's only up from here! 

      I hope your feeling brighter again soon Pam.

      Big hugs

      Liz xx

    • vivienne19443
      vivienne19443 pamela30172

      Posted

      Hi Pamela just thinking about you and do hope you have not had a reoccurrence of the dreaded palpitations sweats shaking and crying etc I know only too well what you are going through I have had a side effect free week but had to put lots of affirmations into action and get up and distract myself It's  the waking up in the middle of the night which is the worst Just hope your shakes are temporary I have an appointment with my doctor in two weeks How about you? May help to talk to a doctor for some reassurance. In the meantime hang in there and praise yourself for being strong Don't hesitate to vent your feelings Big hug Vivxx
    • pamela30172
      pamela30172 vivienne19443

      Posted

      Hi Vivienne

      thanks for your message 😊

      live just got back from the docs ......he hasn't upped my dose but he's given me 10 tranqs to help me through the next few days?! 

      I just don't understand what's happened after I was feeling so good....it's pooh!! 

      I will stay strong....I will get over it 👊

      thanks for the hug xxx

    • vivienne19443
      vivienne19443 pamela30172

      Posted

      Just off to bed I live in Australia but so pleased your doc has given you tranquillisers I have some too just in case I have an attack and they settle things down  I'm sure this will really help your recovery now, VivxxVivxx
    • vivienne19443
      vivienne19443 pamela30172

      Posted

      Hi Pamela 

      Just wondering if you are feeling better? Hope those attacks are tapering off I am fine if I take diazapam at night but if I don't usually wake up with symptoms which are awful and you feel wasted all day I can't understand what is taking so long for the citalopram to kick in Maybe it's age I don't know I was ok last week but this week 3 not so good but still early days, Do hope you are having a good week VivxxVivxx

    • peggy93882
      peggy93882 pamela30172

      Posted

      Hi pamela, I am going through the same thing right now.  I was having a great couple of weeks and BAM I hit the brick wall.  It is now 10 days later and i am still feeling horrible.  I really thought this was finally the end of it.  I am so scared. I think it even feels worse because we had some great weeks. I will be thinking of you and praying for you.

       

    • pamela30172
      pamela30172 peggy93882

      Posted

      Hi Viv

      things have been considerably better since my melt down on Monday morning and my need to get an app at the Docs......I've managed to be far more rational and much calmer AND my sleep seems to have improved at last...not waking to no more sleep from 5 am ...so hopefully have broken that cycle??!!

      I still have some jittery ness especially in the form of shaky weak legs and trembly arms hands so there is still lots of improvement needed before I get back to the way I had felt in my 'good' weeks but I'm living in hope that I'm on the right track again 

      Peggy .....how long have you been on Cit....20mg? 

      I am just around the eight week mark now so am really hoping that it was a 'blip' and the Cit will settle and start and stay giving me positive results from here on in ??!!

      Hope you can stay strong and get through this tough time and soon things start to pick up for you 

      hugs x

    • peggy93882
      peggy93882 pamela30172

      Posted

      Hi pamela, I started on 20mgs for 4 weeks and I've been on the 40mags for 3 1/2 weeks. so 7 1/2 altogether. Did your improvement come on suddenly or was it subtle?
    • pamela30172
      pamela30172 peggy93882

      Posted

      It was hard going for the first two weeks.....waking up early ...shaking and sobbing like I had never encountered in my whole life!

      Then things just seemed to settle and after the first day of not crying there was another ......and another! I was still waking early around 5 as if my brain was an alarm clock but the morning anxiety that had been hitting me as soon as I opened my eyes had subsided and I could get a brew and be much calmer and doze on the couch for another couple of hours

      I honestly felt great ....went out with the family for a meal ...just back to me again for around 4 weeks....then you know the story! 

      I wouldn't say I have been as bad as at the beginning but the anxiety feelings def came back and have upset me and brought back the tears because of the physical symptoms making me despair ! 😒

      I have been better for the last 4 days but not back to where I was 

      I like you am 7 1/2 weeks in now 

      Just got to stay as strong as poss and keep doing whatever we can! x

       

    • peggy93882
      peggy93882 pamela30172

      Posted

      pamela, it sounds like your good times are becoming a little more than the bad. Why can't we just go up and stay there.
    • vivienne19443
      vivienne19443 pamela30172

      Posted

      Hi Pamela 

      so good to hear that you are back on track I was worried about you I'm sure that things will keep improving as your thoughts are also more rational and this seems to keep the physiological symptoms at bay. 

      I had two bad mornings last week while hubby was away but last night Fri slept well but this was because I took a diazapam don't like to do this but my doctor said it was Ok as I am still only three weeks into the meds and the tranquilliser will help me get through the adjustment period

      My latest worry now is my high BLood Pressure way too high and will be ha ing it checked again on we'd so will let you know how that goes. 

      My husband took my daughter to hockey this morning and my darling son of 21 came and gave me a big long hug and told me how much he loved me and I will get through this. My son was adopted at 2 years old after being abandoned from Thailand  I am so blessed to have this love and care by my family just like you Pam So I have a lot to be thankful for I miss my Mum still who died 2 years ago She was a tower of strength to me when I went through this 10 years ago but now I have you and the others for comforting words I am so grateful to you all 

      big hugs Vx

       

    • pamela30172
      pamela30172 vivienne19443

      Posted

      Awwww Viv.....thanks for this lovely post!!

      its so lovely when someone takes the time to show they care when they themselves are suffering! 

      We sound very similar .......I too lost my mum two and half years ago and being the only girl of four children and the youngest you can imagine how close we were......I know I will never stop missing her! 😢

      My two sons are such a strength to me .....like your lovely boy they give me huge hugs and surround me with love.....let's both of us find comfort in their caring!

      i don't like them seeing their mum like this......it just doesn't seem right...but as it's been pointed out to me they are both full grown men now at 34 &. 30 ....but of course to me they will always be my little boys 😍

      We have to realise that all though as mums it's usually our job to do the caring at times like this when things are temporarily out of our control we have to let them care for us. ........hold them close and feel the love! ❤️

      Keep in touch Viv .....I will be thinking of you and rooting for you

      Much love x

    • vivienne19443
      vivienne19443 pamela30172

      Posted

      Hi Pam 

      just read your lovely reply We do sound similar in many ways My Mum died Dec 23rd 2011 So Christmas is never quite the same now . I am so very grateful to have found you as a kindred spirit and thank you so much for caring I do hope things go smoothly for you next week and I will let you know how I go at the doctors. Enjoy the weekend

      love and hugs VivxxVivxx

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