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Struggling to come to terms with genital herpes :(

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Sarah24
Sarah24

I was diagnosed with herpes in April this yr and have had one recurrence since! I'm single and caught it from a guy I had a one night stand with ( stupid I know ) I'm really struggling to come to terms with having this! I feel embarrassed to talk to anyone about it so coming on here was an option! Maybe talking to ppl who also have this virus might help me deal with this!! At this moment I feel like my life is on hold and no one will want to have a relationship with me since I have it!!! Help!?!?!

29 likes, 278 replies

278 Replies

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  • cathyrae
    cathyrae

    Posted

    Hi..

    I am 21 yrs old.. and i have been in a long relationship with my boyfriend for many years now.. last year i started etting blisters and sores on my lips.. and i have been having miserable outbreaks ever since.. this month i already had two to three obs.. sad :'( i have no idea how i contracted the disease.. and yesterday i felt very uncomfortable down under.. sad when i inspected there were blisters down thr also... tat had developed newly.. i am soo upset and worried abt my future as well as my boyfriends health.. he s perfectly fine.. he does not have any symptoms of herpes anywhere.. i wonder how i got it in the first place.. cud he have given me the disease or is it the other way round ? I have not seen a doctor yet.. i am afraid to confess this to my parents.. am so worried and scared for my future.. which medicine shud i take to get rid of blisters in my lips.. and in my vagina ?? Cud i have spread it myself by touching my lips accidentally and spread it to my vagina without my knowledge ? I always use a disinfectant after touching my lips.. please reply.. i feel so horrible.. my bf also confirmed that it luks like herpes down thr.. could i have spread it myself ? :'(

  • lauren74052
    lauren74052

    Posted

    Hi all ! Just wanted to share some love to all of those feeling down and letting this pesky little critter get to them. Stay strong and positive you are still that beautiful strong person who sometimes gets a cold sore on your privates . Eh ! P.s what the eff ! Someone went to jail for passing on herpes ?!? Woah.
  • baby_girl_t
    baby_girl_t

    Posted

    I'm 23 years old and i have just recently found out that i have Herpes I suffer from depression and its been the worst few weeks of my life. I was infected by a person who i thought was my friend but now that we know about this I don't want anything to do with him. I have been feeling so embarrassed because there was other people after him and i had to tell them that they needed to get tested i felt like I was being judged by everyone that knew that i have it. I haven't cried this much in my life i feel like my life and sex life is over. Who is ever going to want to be with me or when will i ever have another relationship i want to have a baby soon and i feel like that's never going to happen now that i have herpes I have been letting this take over my life and i just need someone to talk to about it.
    • Aimee9760
      Aimee9760 baby_girl_t

      Posted

      I've been dealing with the same emotions. I feel betrayed and hurt. I'm 29 and i thought i had my whole life ahead of me. I was infected by someone i trusted as well. I cry so much it's unreal. It definetely helps to come here and vent and know others are out there sharing in your struggle.
    • eliza0404
      eliza0404 Aimee9760

      Posted

      I as well understand where yall are coming from. I was diagnosed in March of this year. I thought it was the end of the world and I hated everyone including myself. But look around yourself... there are millions of people who have this as well you arent alone. It will not change the person you are and it dont make you any less then what you were before. The only difference is that you have to be percaucious now. Big deal. In the end you need to accept that it is now apart of you. And who ever loves you will accept it and be by your side. Everyone makes HSV seem like its so bad when in all actuality its not.. yea its a STD but its a VIRUS jus like the flu. Anyone could get it. I have come to terms to accept it and instead of letting it run my life, its now pretty much my patner. I have put my experience to good use by helping inform others about this. Ive also realzied that as much as you think no guy is ever going to want you... thats bs bc i recently started seeing someone and i informed him of what i had and the risks. He didnt care, he did research and never have i been so happy. This is not the end of the world. Your just as human as the rest of use except you were responsible enough to get tested. Whom ever i recieved this from apparely either didnt know they had it or failed to inform me. Turn your downfall around and make something good out of it. 
    • baby_girl_t
      baby_girl_t eliza0404

      Posted

      Thanks for the words of encouragement I was also diagnosed in march of this year but i havent been able to really come to terms with it just yet. Im still depressed and embarrassed basically i still feel the same as the day the doctor told me. So Im still dealing with this day by day and being on this site and reading other peoples words is really helping me move past this.
    • baby_girl_t
      baby_girl_t Aimee9760

      Posted

      yes it is before this i never thought in a million years that i would ever get an std let alone GH. I know that i wont get over this over night but i hope i can feel differently very soon. people keep telling me that i have to forgive the person who gave it to me but i havent been able to do that just yet and i really dont know when that will ever happen.
    • eliza0404
      eliza0404 baby_girl_t

      Posted

      And u may never forgive them. And that's ok too but you need to realize this is now apart of you. I was also in a bad wreck that have me bad scars in 2012 I was a passenger. It's the same situation I won't ever be able to forgive that person but I take my scars and they are apart of me as well as now having HSV. It's apart of me. It's not as bad as it seems I promise. It gets easier and better as time goes.  Stay positive and strong. Talk to people who you trust. Inform them teach them about it and ull learn it's not that serious. And u will be helping others. No one realizes serious situations until it happens to themselves or someone who's close. Just don't beat urself up over it. 
  • chorty5641
    chorty5641

    Posted

    Question for everyone with herpes : if you had a cold sore, would you stop kissing people for the rest of your life? If the answer is no, then you get my point about HSV2, its incovenient, and burns for few days, thats the absolute worst of it, end of story. So tell the person you wanna be with about it, and let them decide what they want to do about it, cuz at the end of the day there are SO many worse things than herpes. I understand the initial "trauma" of finding out. Everyone pretty much feels the same, and then we all realise there are worse things. I wish you all the best in that journey of coming to terms with what it actually is, bening. xxx
  • Aimee9760
    Aimee9760 Sarah24

    Posted

    I empathize with your situation greatly Sarah. I was recently diagnosed with herpes simplex 1. I was married for 3 years(we married at a young age & he was in the military) and although I was faithful the entire time for some odd reason my ex husband decided to stray, I had no idea at the time that he was having flings with other women but the signs were def there. Long story short I served him with divorce papers and i was terriified to go to my gyno. When i finally talked myself into it, it was only becuase i developed; what looked like to me an ingrown hair. I had never had anything like this before and honestly was praying for the best. When my gynecologist tested me for all the std's I could've been exposed to she also swabbed the bump and I asked her in her professional opinon what it looked like, she told me herpes and i instantly started crying. A week later it was confirmed and i was started on Valtrex. It's only been a couple of weeks and I've been dealing with it horribly. I've only told my mother and 2 of my closest friends. I've read a few others posts and everyone is taking the words right out of my mouth. I feel like my life is over, i dont think i will ever have a normal relationship being diagnosed with this, and i feel like my entire life is going to be altered. I'm terrified to kiss anyone or do anything. I'm absolutely gisgusted with myself and as extreme as it seems I've been battling depression(i recently lost my grandmother a month ago) and suicide. I'm so lost and although I've read so much online as i can find, I still feel clueless about certain things. I'm the type of person that i feel like the right thing to do would be to tell someone you have this, but then it's a catch 22 becuase in this in this day and age I can't imagine a person willingly getting involved with someone and putting themselves at risk. I never thought i would have been put in this situation, but unfortunately i trusted my ex husband and i ever thought he would do this to me. I also would like some advice on how others feel and how they cope, becuase I"m at the end of my rope and I have lost all interest in everything i used to love doing. I would appreciate all the help I can get, thanks so much for listening.
  • ambient
    ambient Sarah24

    Posted

    I would recommend the H-ype website for support too. There's some good-looking men on there haha. It's for meet-ups, dating and advice/support.

    I find aspirin helps a lot more than acyclovir. I've also read that daily aspirin is good for keepin it at bay, though of course you'd have to talk to the doctor first if you wanted to try that ; it can upset some people's stomachs/cause asthma.

    It's the shock that is the worst part, that and the stigma. I'd advise you not to go on American websites as they are very dramatic and scare mongering. Having said this, i've no idea how to disclose to a potential partner! I don't know

    • Sarah24
      Sarah24 ambient

      Posted

      Hi ambient

      i thought about the aspirin but wasn't sure! My outbreaks are mild and not very often so suppose I'm lucky in that respect! I went on hype but didn't seem to be anyone in my area! I agree with you that the worst part of having this is disclosing to a partner!! I'm sure if it's the right person they will accept the small risk!!!

    • ambient
      ambient Sarah24

      Posted

      I get mild outbreaks too, always on my left buttock. I've had sex with someone before I knew what it was, with the rash on my buttock rolleyes I went swimmin with it on the other day, that was the only time I really felt exposed x
  • sunshine44960
    sunshine44960 Sarah24

    Posted

    Sad and confused!

    I came to this forum because I have been looking on the net trying to find some solace!

    On monday the 9/06/2014 I had this blister on my mouth that came out of nowhere. A couple of minutes earlier I was totally fine and suddenly I could feel there was a swell on my lower lip. I didn't think too much about it. Later in the evening when my husband came home, I showed it to him non-chalantly and I can remember laughing and smoothing the wrinkle on his brow for he became all white and so concerned. I remember telling him "sweetheart don't look so concerned, I'm sure it's nothing" He remained concerned and I pursued work on my computer putting the blister at the back of my mind. Then he went into the kitchen and came back to the living room and then just like that told me "I have herpes"!!!  I actually chuckled at that, not believing it. It was so surreal- this couldn't be happening, I remember thinking!!! He had been hospitalized some months back in january cause he had chronic headaches and he told me then that the doctor had said the herpes contributed to his headaches. I couldn't help feeling betrayed!! The funny part is I was not even pissed at him then. I just felt sad that he didn't trust me enough to share this information. I am a very forgiving person but I don't think I will be able to forgive him for depriving me of my right to decide about the situation and protecting myself. He said he was afraid he would loss me if he told me. The alternative was to CONTAMINATE ME!!!  That he has had sex with me all of this time knowing the risk he was putting me at. It doesn't really matter now how he contracted the disease; that wouldn't change the fact that I have it. I just can't help thinking how I will have to alter my live style because of this. My self esteem is at zero!!!

    I was at the doctor's today and got prescription for Aciclovir which I started taking immediately. I feel so embarassed seated at my desk at work with the cream on my mouth and pretending it's nothing when my colleagues ask me what happened to my lip. I just want to be invisible sad

    I have scheduled an appointment next week for a test of all STDs. I shudder thinking I may have something more. I need to be sure that no more damage was done.

    I have been married for 4yrs and I find myself thinking about divorce but then the logical part of me is asking if that will bring my health back. If I get away who will want a Herpes infested woman? I love my husband but I just not trust him any more. Can I ever trust him again, what is the essence of being in a relationship with someone you can't trust? I'm I strong enough to fulfill the "for better and worst, in sickness and in health" part of my vows!

    .

    I don't comprehend how someone who proclaims love can be so reckless and irresponsible! I don't yet have kids but I would some day in the future. I can't help thinking I wouldn't be care free around my kids and family for fear of contaminating them. 

    I know the answers to some of this questions have to come from me but I need to pour out what's on my mind out there to get some kind of relief. Your comments will be highly appreciated

  • david09695
    david09695 Sarah24

    Posted

    I think I have herpes because I have an itchy rectum? I had testicular cancer when I was 18 and had a proesthetic testicle put in. I was there scared to have a relationship because this made me self conscious. I do not have outbreaks but my penis is scarred around where I urinate from. It has caused me depression for years and suicidal thoughts. I had one night stands and was mostly safe but got drunk. I am extremely self conscious about the scars! I want to die! I don't want to die a lonely old man. If I meet a pretty girl she will run a mile if I am honest and I have feelings of guilt but always try to be safe. Please help, any advice? 
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