Struggling to come to terms with genital herpes :(

Hi, I have just been told by my doctor that I have herpes. I am 20 years old and have only have 2 sexual partners. I have always done eveything protection wise to make sure I don't get anything. I feel disgusted, how could I let this happen. where do I go from now? How do you explain that to future partners? I found out I contracted it when I saw the doctor today, he said he was very positive I have it as I have had all the symptoms, including sores, flu like illness, swollen genitals, burns to pee  etc. but have to wait until monday to get test results. 

I don't think I could live with myself if I have it. 

HI Sarah. I just got diagnosed  a few hours ago by my doctor. I feel like it is a dream. Where are you from?

I have had this atleast 5 months. I'm currently. 4 months pregnant and have a kid im sooo scred what if ipass it on to both of my kids. I feel like i have failed at being a mother for this. I love both of my kids so much ifeel like it's just nasty having this.

I just found out today that I have herpes... I've been with my bf for about 3 years and he's my only sex partner.. I feel heartbroken.. not emotionally but mentally if that makes sense lol.. I feel so grossed out and just like some of you said I know i'll be judged if I tell anyone who doesn't have it.. but I just feel so alone and lost and confused.. My bf did cheat on me once but that was almost 9 months ago and I didn't have any symptons that showed until a week or 2 ago.. I don't know what to say or do but I just feel like crying..

I have had genital itching for a couple of days now. I am very cautious about these things so I got a compact mirror to do a little self-inspection. I found blisters on my inner labia, and I'm fairly certain I saw one or two around the opening to my vagina. I'm going to urgent care tomorrow for a 100% diagnosis, but I'm almost positive it's herpes. I'm so scared, and I don't know what to do. I've gotten angry, I've cried... It's 5:30 AM, but I can't sleep. I can't help but feel dirty, and that my life is completely ruined. I already had self-esteem issues, already had a tough time with relationships. Now, I feel like my love life is ruined forever. I can't help but wonder what the point of existing is if my whole life is going to be filled with paranoia that either someone will leave me when they find out what I have, or that paranoia that I'll pass it on to any future partner I may have. I dread the discussions of breaking it to potential partners that I have this virus. I don't want a life spent constantly taking drugs to help suppress a virus I shouldn't even have in the first place. I know it's not 100%, but I really really really think it is herpes. I'm so terrified. I came here because I can't tell anyone else. I don't have anyone to go to. 

I contracted it the same way you did and I didn't have full intercourse with this person and he knew and didn't care to tell me. At first I was broken because I was 20 and on my own with no one I cried and slept all day for two weeks. I had to tell everyone lies on what was wrong and where I had been. I felt like a horrible person I felt so dumband worse of all the guy I loved was broken hearted from it. Ill never be able to really tell anyone close to me. The kinda family I have they'll use it against me instead of help me. Sometimes I over think and get so confused because I feel like the weight of the world is on me because I'm hiding this secret and I don't know what to do just like you. I just stop my life. I love this guy I've known for so long and he loves me but I haven't told him yet I'm scared of the repercussions and with these disease I feel like we will never win. Everyday the battle starts all over again and lately I've been completely drained from all the fighting. I guess the remedy to your question is that time heals all and that you and I will just have to continue on this wild journey. STAY STRONG

I am a 58 y.o. female and contracted herpes about 12 years ago.  I had been married for 20 years, divorced for about 3 years and had a relationship with a guy I met a Christian singles group.  We had "safe"sex - used condoms and within a month I had my first breakout.  I was devastated.  I went on from there and had another relationship with a guy that was very understanding and kind about it.  We dated for a couple years. 

After that relationship ended I think it really hit me because I just haven't had the courage to date again.  

A guy recently asked me out - and at my age, that does not happen often.  He's nice.  I met him at work.  We've gone out a couple of times and I really like him and he "said" he really liked me and is looking forward to possibly a longterm relationship.  I decided I needed to let him know up front that I have Herpes.  Wow - was that hard to do!!   I wanted to cry.  His face when I told him.  It was awful.  He was very kind about it and said he needs to do some research on it.

He called me today to ask if he could have caught it by kissing me as he has grandchildren and doesn't want to expose them to it.  I cried. 

I found this website and loved it.  I just felt like I needed to vent.  I have noone to talk to about this.  I have a feeling that he will decide not to continue the relationship and that hurts - a lot.  But the worst thing is that I don't know if I'll have the courage to date again - ever.  He was the first guy I've been out with in six years. 

Whoever reads this - I'm sorry for all the whining - but it feels good to let it out. 

 

If anyone can answer this for me I would greatly appreciate it, I just found out a few days ago that I have herpes, and was wondering about oral sex. And how to tell someone. And when to tell someone I have so many questions it's unreal.

As someone who has a partner with herpes but doesn't have it myself I want to say there are definitely people who will be with you regardless of whether you have it. Don't ever think that something so trivial will turn away the right person. Think of it this way, it's a pretty good test of what potential

Partners are seriously interested in a long term relationship and who's just here to get laid. I'm not going to say it'll be the easiest thing to have to tell your potential partners but you'll at least know that those who you're with really care about you as a person. My partner married someone just because he figured since she gave it to him no one else would ever want to be with him and then was miserable for the next 13 years. Don't be that person, you are more than a minor affliction, this doesn't define you.

I'm 22, I come from a wonderful loving family, and I feel like the black sheep right now. I get my actual results tomorrow, but I am basically 100% positive I contracted HSV about a week and a half ago (the waiting time over the weekend comfirmed it in my mind becuse of the sores/symptoms). I have done extensive research online the past few days and I cannot even tell you how much time I have spent crying. I made a horrible mistake after a night of drinking with a new dude and I have never in my life felt so low... let alone the one night stand... I told myself I could be cool with that and be the kind of person who has casual sex occasionally, but the fact of the matter is that I am not the girl to do that. I have "high standards," or so I thought. 

I was with my family this weekend and I was able to supress the constant thoughts and aviod crying when I was around them, but being around their positive energy honestly made me feel even more like a dissappointment to the family when I was alone. My older brother (always the guy every girl wanted to date) waited 24 years to find the love of his life... aka somehow he's still a virgin. He stuck to his beliefs and truly wanted to wait for the "right one" and I'm over here feeling like the biggest whore in the world. When I see their connection together, I can't help but continue to kick myself while I'm down and tell myself that I'm worthless now and I will never experience their happiness. No one will ever want me. I'm tall and the dating pool was already small for me, but now my chances of ever finding someone are nonexistant. What great guy would ever date a damaged girl. I will never have kids, or if I try I will harm them in the process. I'd rather of lost an arm or leg than go through this embarassment. I might get HIV and die. I kind of want to die. It might be easier on everyone. 

I am the kind of person who lovess people and I am very empathetic, but also incredibly self-critical. I fear that I will never be able to forgive myself (not even the jerk that infected me) but rather the kicker will be the inability to get out of my own head because in my opinion I was the one who allowed this to happen. Thus I take responsibility, and with that the burning hatred of myself. I don't like people seeing my weakness/insecurities so I never let people know everything. I found this forum and figured I needed some positivity in my life right now, even though I probably won't be able to soak it in anytime soon. And also I just feel so alone in this. I know the statistics and how its "supposedly" common, but as of now I feel like its a solo battle and I'm losing hardcore. 

I love my family too much to actually harm myself because I couldn't bare to have them go though that, but I'm afraid I won't be able to focus on anything but this leper-like virus (or Disease in my head). I'm afraid I will sink into depression and self-loathing with take over my life. I guess I'm on here to try to find some encouragement to continue with my life and get out of bed.