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Struggling to come to terms with genital herpes :(

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Sarah24
Sarah24

I was diagnosed with herpes in April this yr and have had one recurrence since! I'm single and caught it from a guy I had a one night stand with ( stupid I know ) I'm really struggling to come to terms with having this! I feel embarrassed to talk to anyone about it so coming on here was an option! Maybe talking to ppl who also have this virus might help me deal with this!! At this moment I feel like my life is on hold and no one will want to have a relationship with me since I have it!!! Help!?!?!

29 likes, 278 replies

278 Replies

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  • Lifer2015
    Lifer2015 Sarah24

    Posted

    I have herpes and when I found out all I could do is cry I mean I cried all day and all night for weeks and I too felt it was the end for me! I've meg2 guys since then who knows I have it and still wanted to be with me. I have a boyfriend and when I told hinge was cool with it he wanted to educate his self... We have good second I let him know when or if I'm having a outbreak. He knows and understand the risk and we're happy trying to have a baby Ming in together soon.
  • Sarah4581
    Sarah4581 Sarah24

    Posted

    I found out in February this year I have hsv2. I have been struggling with it for months and haven't told anyone about it.

    I met someone and started a relationship without telling him. I take medication everyday and we use protection but I feel so guilty and disgusted in myself. I dont know what to do either. I'm terrified about losing him.

    I hate that it wasn't our fault that this happened and now we have to put ourselves through hell about it all.

    • natalie22061
      natalie22061 Sarah4581

      Posted

      Hi Sarah I have just been diagnosed I feel horrible and disgusting, I don't no what to do, the pain is just killing me I'm in tears crying with it I can't take anymore pain sad how do u cope! How many out breaks have you had ?
  • babygiiiirl0634
    babygiiiirl0634 Sarah24

    Posted

    Awww. I got it to but scared to express or talk to anyone. I told my fiancé and he didn't leave me. I was so happy and blessed. the right guy will love u for you. although I suffer with many outbreaks. does this happen to y'all?
    • natalie22061
      natalie22061 babygiiiirl0634

      Posted

      I have been diagnosed sad this is my first outbreak it's awful I'm in so much pain. I'm literally crying in pain with it I can't take anymore sad
  • alejandra53512
    alejandra53512 Sarah24

    Posted

    Although this post was added a year ago. As of yesterday i was told i more than likley have genital herpes. Im just waiting on my lab results which should come by the end of this week. Ive been reading a lot of hese posts and it makes me feel better. Although i honestly do feel dirty angry and ashamed i also havent been able to stop crying and get out of bed, i dont want this to control my life. I had slept with two different men recently ...one unprotected. Yes i know how bad that is and i am obviously paying the consequences. I hope no one passes judgement on me for that. Now i must confront the two about it and let them know.

    I see some of you on here who are doing well after discovering you contracted the virus. I hope that will also be me.

    • czg3
      czg3 alejandra53512

      Posted

      My girlfriend was diagnosed in 2014. I do not have it though. Sometimes I wish I did so that she would not be alone. But I totally understand the crying and feeling dirty. We rarely have sex now. Because she does not want to have sex due to the fact she has herpes. And that she feels like the nastiet woman on earth. I been supporting her for almost 2 years now. And its been the toughest journey i been on as a man espically when I want to have sex and be intimate with her
  • deja14289
    deja14289 Sarah24

    Posted

    Hello Sarah24 , I completely understand how u feel , I was diagnosed with herpes and I have type 1 & 2 & I've been crying ever since . I'm only 20 and I feel angry , depressed , and ashamed and so digisted with myself . I have a boyfriend and he does not have it but sometimes I ask myself why doe he stay ? I still don't understand . It feels like my life has just stopped and I'm losing track of everything . Having herpes is getting the best of me . Sometimes it's hard To even get it if bed
  • newbodingod
    newbodingod Sarah24

    Posted

    I slept with another guy in March 2015, while with my bf and in November 2015, I was diagnosed with herpes. Everything I've read said the first outbreak happens within a few weeks of contact. This really confused me and I still am. The guy told me he's clean. I found out he was married. I talked to the wife and she said they both are clean. My bf made threats to the guy but he told my bf he doesn't have it and said he showed police the threats from by bf. I remember my bf had what looked like a cold sore about a week before I showed symptoms so I wonder if I could have gotten it from my bf. I've been wanting closure- to know how I got it. My bf refuses to be tested and I just wonder why.
  • rosie87575
    rosie87575 Sarah24

    Posted

    I'm still in somewhat of a denial stage...I was diagnosed in September last year. I got it from a guy who I assumed was telling me the truth about love and whatever else. We had sex regularly with a condom. One night we were drunk and didn't use protection, He already had me I don't understand why people would want to lie about having an std and put someone else at risk especially if they claim to love them. He honestly thought I would stay with him after. I haven't gone a day without an outbreak I've gone into a sinking sadness. I had already been hit with so many things and this really has just been too much for me. I can't even get close to anyone. I don't want to risk spreading it to anyone. I remember feeling confident now I just feel shame. I've tried everything meditation to calm my anxiety. I've done homeopathic therapy. I've taken propolis (which is hard to get) and lysine and every supplement that compliments the results of those two I've used rapid relief destin. I have never been a person to take medicine unless it's absolutely necessary and I think I'm going to crack and talk to my doctor because I'm going to have a mental breakdown. I wish I had more advice on how to cope but I guess that's what I'm looking for here.
  • Ashrose123
    Ashrose123 Sarah24

    Posted

    I totally understand all this "coming to terms" I was diagnosed about a year ago, I've only had the one outbreak, and I got my first outbreak just as I started seeing someone new after my ex, so I discovered this way that my ex had cheated on me which was pretty brutal considering I made no mistakes. Coming to terms with it is still pretty impossible for me; my boyfriend is amazing and I told him when I first found out and he has been so supportive and is still with me (coming up to our one year of being together). So it is possible to find someone who loves you through it all so if that's a stress for you, know you're not going to be alone forever <3 also one key thing that's gotten me through is "you are not your disease."

    i still cringe when anyone makes herpes related jokes internally

    and i've recently started noticing symptoms of another outbreak and i'm going through the anxiety of going to see a doctor in fear of judgement, so i don't want to book an appointment even though i want to get rid of this outbreak. it's awful and i really pray they come up with a cure sad also="" one="" key="" thing="" that's="" gotten="" me="" through="" is="" "you="" are="" not="" your="" disease."="" i="" still="" cringe="" when="" anyone="" makes="" herpes="" related="" jokes="" internally="" and="" i've="" recently="" started="" noticing="" symptoms="" of="" another="" outbreak="" and="" i'm="" going="" through="" the="" anxiety="" of="" going="" to="" see="" a="" doctor="" in="" fear="" of="" judgement,="" so="" i="" don't="" want="" to="" book="" an="" appointment="" even="" though="" i="" want="" to="" get="" rid="" of="" this="" outbreak.="" it's="" awful="" and="" i="" really="" pray="" they="" come="" up="" with="" a="" cure="">

    i still cringe when anyone makes herpes related jokes internally

    and i've recently started noticing symptoms of another outbreak and i'm going through the anxiety of going to see a doctor in fear of judgement, so i don't want to book an appointment even though i want to get rid of this outbreak. it's awful and i really pray they come up with a cure sad>

    • hj2
      hj2 Ashrose123

      Posted

      I just got back from the doctors .. I am completely broken. 5 days ago I went with a fear of having a UTI and possibly BV infection which I have had issues with on and off for over 5 years now. For the past 2 1/2 years I was in a committed relationship. When we broke things off I went to go get tested for EVERYTHING. Everything except BV came back negative. Stupidly I met up with him weeks later and asked him if he had hooked up with anyone else. He said no. We had unprotected sex. A few days after that I move out of state to my hometown and meet up with an older ex. He had just got out a committed relationship (as far as he's told me) that lasted a year and a half. He told me the last time he got tested was a year ago and everything was negative. Falling into old feelings and just being a depressed mess, we had unprotected sex. Only several days after I last has sex with my now most recent ex. Stupid and slutty I know. So 5 days later I start to have those symptoms of a UTI and think I might have BV again. I have an extremely sensitive vagina. I also had what I thought were ingrown hairs and pimples that I had unfortunately touched. Well, the gyno wasn't convinced that's what they were. She seemed concerned it was herpes. I was shocked. She swabbed for multiple things. That Thursday night I started having flu like symptoms .. A nervous wreck I started doing my research. Things didn't get better as the days passed. Come Monday I go back to the Drs with fear of having strep and wanting to get checked out again down there. My basic std tests came back negative but they seemed to misplace the herpes swab test so they performed another. The doctor informed me that it was very suspicious and looked like herpes and now all we can do is wait for the results and prescribed me valtrex to see if I would react. Now I'm left with having to talk to both my exs and am not 100% positive it came from my oldest but think my most recent lied when he told me he hadn't hooked up with anyone. If that's the case I most likely just passed on this possible virus to my oldest ex as well. I'm so disgusted and feel like my life is over. I found this site in hope of answers and support. I don't know what to do. All I can do is wait on results and contemplate how I could have not only messed up my life but someone else's. :'(
  • a36803
    a36803 Sarah24

    Posted

    Hello,

    I am a 25yo female. I was just diagnosed with GH yesterday. However, I am a little concerned about the diagnosis. I went to the doctor and she only did a visual exam. No tests or swabs or cultures or blood tests. I was put on Acyclovir 3x a day for 10 days. Basically the doctor said if my symptoms go away it means I have GH. If not, I should seek a second opinion. The whole thing just didn't feel right to me and now I have no solid answers. Is this typical for a diagnosis?

    Also, thank you all for your helpful information. I have read so many scary websites that seem so doom and gloom... It's nice to hear some positive sides to it all.

    I have a guy that I am interested in. We have kind of been circling each other for months now and it's just starting to get to that point of getting to know each other better. No sex, not even kissing at this point. But with this new diagnosis I'm not even sure what to do. Obviously I need to finish my "test" of acyclovir. But after that, should I consider the blood test? Should I immediately go on suppressive treatment? Most of you are talking about months before attempting to have a partner... Do I need to wait that long? Does the medicine need that much time to do its job before its benefits are effective? (and by benefits I mean decreased chances of spreading it to my partner and decreased chances of an outbreak). I just have so many questions and I feel like I already got a brush off from the doctor.

    I'm trying to stay positive. There really are worse things out there. I know explaining to this guy is going to be hard but I have always gotten the impression that he is a good guy, smart, understanding. I just need some direction. A game plan, if you will.

    Thank you all!

  • Dogs1998
    Dogs1998 Sarah24

    Posted

    I was just dianosed yesterday with genital herpes. Just writing this post im shaking and crying. Im only 17 years old and I feel like my freedom has been taken away from me. Until this day I never knew what real problems were. I've never experienced such severe pain and I have no one to relate to. I'm so scared to have to deal with this for the rest of my life. I'm never going to be able to meet any guys who will want to be with me because I am now gross . Im so scared to experience more outbreaks, this pain is unbearable and I dont think I will have the strength to deal with it again. Over the past few days I suspected it was herpes, and thoughts of taking my life away keep coming into my head. I told my mom because I can't go through this alone, we never talk about sex openly and the second she found out she cried hysterically. Im so ashamed. I feel as though this is what defines me now. I'm never going to be able to lead a  normal life agan and im gonna have to worry about this everyday of my life, im so terrified for this change. Im so scared.
    • hj2
      hj2 Dogs1998

      Posted

      I know exactly how you feel. And honestly the one thing that helps put things into a different perspective for me is remembering that IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE. It's extremely unfortunate, yes. But our lives are not over. Think about the many people out there who are suffering.. Who live a harder life than me and you. People who are born into misfortune, people who are fighting for their lives... This is only a skin condition. A nasty one, yes. But we are not dying. And there are people out there that will still want you. You just have to be more careful and more selective. Trust me I'm still struggling with coming to terms with it all myself. I'm still wondering why. But then I think about this man I saw the other night out on the dance floor, moving nothing but his upper body, because he was in a wheel chair and had no legs. And I think shame on me. I know it's hard. But count your blessings. Because it truly always could be worse. And there are people here who want to help support you. Don't give up.
    • amanda15313
      amanda15313 Dogs1998

      Posted

      Sweetie don't get discouraged. Your life is way more important then you taking it. The only time it's been difficult for me is now I am starting to date. I feel alot better after reading alot of this. I don't have outbreaks very often and they become less severe after your first initial outbreak. Mom's reaction is only due to the fact that we never want harm to come to our babies. Given enough time she will be able to comfort you and it may actually help you to bond even more. It's no different than a cold sore on the mouth except that it's in a different area. It's not life threatening and the person you get serious with will love you for you. If you want to talk more we can ok. I am a mom of 4 and 38 years old.
    • Dogs1998
      Dogs1998 amanda15313

      Posted

      I don't want to sound immature but im so young and all my friends around me get to live care-free and ill be having to think about every move I make. I feel like this is going to stop me from doing anything regarding planning trips or going out in case of an outbreak. Im so scared of how often they will be and im scared its going to ruin my life. My mom probably sees me as promiscuous and will never have trust in me again. Its too much to handle, I dont want to be that 17 year old who has an STD. I know i'm not dying and that things can be worse, but I never thought that I would be put in the situation where I have to be thankful for this. Especially with the generation im in no guy will accept me with what I have.
    • hj2
      hj2 Dogs1998

      Posted

      I understand.. And I'm sorry. But we're here for you. Just try to focus on moving forward and remembering that it truly could be worse. This generation sucks. You don't need anyone in your life that doesn't want you in yours because of a very unfortunate skin condition. I pray they find a cure. Try to keep your head up and stay distracted. Stressing only makes it worse I promise.
    • sha46925
      sha46925 Dogs1998

      Posted

      I feel the same way babe 😔 I found out about 2 months back that the guy I was dealing with had it from another girl he gave it to .i prayed every day and night like I felt so nasty and as of a couple days I have form blisters & I cryed and cryed I plan to keep it to myself but I don't know how I'm going to deal for the rest of my life I'm only 19 so I totally understand but we can't let this disease keep us down
    • sha46925
      sha46925 Dogs1998

      Posted

      I feel the same way babe 😔 I found out about 2 months back that the guy I was dealing with had it from another girl he gave it to .i prayed every day and night like I felt so nasty and as of a couple days I have form blisters & I cryed and cryed I plan to keep it to myself but I don't know how I'm going to deal for the rest of my life I'm only 19 so I totally understand but we can't let this disease keep us down
    • sarah_47987
      sarah_47987 Dogs1998

      Posted

      I understand how you feel I have so many thoughts of just ending my life due to this , it's really hard to deal with because you know that your life is never going to be normal again if you like a boy you have to confess because you don't wanna spread this nasty disease

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