Struggling to come to terms with genital herpes :(

Sweetie life is not over. I promise you this...you can still be you and travel and do all the things you normally would do. Only you know when you have an outbreak. I have only had a couple a year. And they get less severe.it will get easier with time. Chances are your not the only one your age out there with this. You will find someone who loves and it will not matter to them.

Ok I've just been diagnosed with having Herpes. I've been with my partner for over a year now so does this mean he has cheated on me

Fact is, statistically up to 75% - 80% of adults will catch Herpes type 1 or Herpes type 2 at some point in life. Even babies can catch herpes from a kiss. Does that make them dirty and completely unlovable adult later on in life ?

You have herpes! A skin condition! That will only affect you a few times per year -if HSV2 and nearly not at all after the first outbreak -if HSV1 genital. Consider yourself lucky you actually know your health status. A lot of people have this skin infection and do not know it as it rarely shows any symptoms. You are not dirty for being a sexually active adult. Bare in mind if you caught it through oral sex, that means chances are, your partner that infected you probably caught it as a child/infant... Can we blame someone for a skin infection they barely remember they ever had and got from mom/ aunty, grandma kissing them to show affection as a kid? Personally when I found out I had HSV 1 genital, I did get a little depressed for 3 days, the outbreak lasted for a week and I did feel discomfort but I've had period pains worse tbh then did my research, spoke to 3 medical doctors, called the herpes helpline and spoke to people that have had herpes for years and got all the facts. All people and medical advisers said its not that big of a deal and you don't have to live a life of medication, and tbh It never affected my life progressing forward nor did I feel dirty or Felt I had anything to be ashamed of nor have I had another outbreak since the first one (it's been 2 years now). The stigma surrounding Herpes is totally overblown yet Cold sores/ fever blisters are seen as nothing at all when its the exact same skin condition.

Please people, instead of being depressed, avoid going on Google or YouTube to get your facts! Visit a real medical doctor and pick up real books and learn what herpes is. Having it is not abnormal and dirty. It's simply part of what sometimes happens being an adult. 1 in 4 woman have this and 1 in 5 men have this. A lot of people just don't know for a fact because they don't recognized symptoms and just assume it's just a scratch etc and don't get tested. Consider yourself fortunate that you know and you can inform your partner progressing forward and Doctor when pregnant. Personally I told most of my friends, family and former partners when I found out I had HSV1 and you would be surprised (after I described how to know and the symptoms) how many admitted to me they had herpes too! FUNNY that huh...! The reason I felt so comfortable discussing this is because I had all the medical facts & statistics and refused to be ashamed of a skin condition I've caught as a healthy sexually educated and aware adult that was using protection. Therefore PEOPLE! Herpes is a skin condition! But if you're going to live a life being worried about herpes, I suggest you worry too about every spot that will ever appear on your skin.

Though I do firmly believe in telling & educating any sexual partner as well as Doctor (if contracted during last few months of pregnancy or infect generally) you have/ used to have and/or get cold sores, fever blister, HSV1 or HSV2.

You are not alone... keep your head up.. I know how awful the feeling of knowing you have genital herpes is.. I want to share my story since I know there must be at least someone out there with one similar like mine... since I was a young girl I would always get cold sores on my lips and these past years I hadn't gotten much of them but at the beginning of this year I got one in my chin(which was so weird to me) that looked like a pimple at first I squeezed it since I usually do with all my pimples since I do get a lot of acne and it was so hard to actually pop by the next day I had a big scab on my face wich last well over a month well it cleared up and after a month and a half I got another one on the other side of my chin I realized that after seeing what looked like a pimple it was bothersome which sometimes acne does that... I tried to pop it and I couldn't I thought it was dried up from a drying lotion that I used overnight for acne... I was already in bed and felt really stressed out I actually masturbated to help myself relax and fall asleep I don't remember if I washed my hands before that.. well little did I know that by the end of the next day I had a scab right there in my chin where the "pimple" was well I started freaking out remembering about the night before and surely later that week I started noticing symptoms...I gave myself genital herpes... and it sure does suck.. I added another stress trigger in my life... I had just started a relationship and was really happy.. I felt like my happiness was taken away and I couldn't find myself telling my new boyfriend... things eventually didn't workout we broke up after 3 months of a rocky relationship he actually wanted to have sex and I didn't so we broke up because of that but I never had the nerve to tell him about my herpes... but I've been trying to look at everything with a positive mind but somedays I just break down...never thinking this would happen to me... just know that god will not let us down even in our hardest times...

I have been having the same symptoms and being taken sample for testing for herpes. I could not believe myself that this is happening with me. I now realise it can happen with anyone. I was married 8 months back. Me and my husband are living every moment building our dreams about future. I started crying when I heard from doctor that he is suspecting herpes. I went out and as my husband and me walked together, we discussed telling "everybody has a past and not to spoil our entire life questioning or blaming each other." We feel there is no point now thinking about it and wasting time. My husband said "Just like the normal fever it might come and go. Let's try to handle it together. Let this small virus not become a separation between us". That was when I stopped thinking about my tomorrow's results. Even if I'm positive or not I'm ready to handle it. After all it is not end of the world. When I'm gifted with such a lovely husband and a lovely family I can handle any difficulty easily. Always try to walk towards light.

I must say that I applaud you all for being so open about your personal struggles. It takes a lot of heart and guts to do that.

I am obviously here for the same reason. I've read all of the comments from anger, to resentment, to moving forward. I understand your pain. My man and I have been together for over 10 years. Not married (that's my choice). He is an amazing man. He will work himself under the table to make sure I am happy. We started out as friends with plenty of benefits. I wasn't looking to be tied down because I was still young and in college (38 years old now). He insisted that he would wait for me until I was ready for a relationship. I know that may sound like a fairytale but, the grass was not greener on my side. Because he waited, he missed out on a lot of relationships that he could have learned from. By the time I was ready to settle down, I was a Mother of 2 girls and was not ready to train and nurture a grown man. My Mother is a nurse which was a blessing to me and a curse for my partner. I am anal about health and hygiene. If I sneeze and it is abnormal, I am going to have that checked out...lol. He is very different. Both of his parents passed away at an early age and he missed out on a lot that we would consider to be common sense. That's where my situation becomes difficult. I feel as though I have taken on a nurturing role when it comes to him.

I was abused as a child so I didn't really have sex so freely. I can actually go years without it and it would not even phase me. We were physical for 6 years before we stopped using condoms. He was always there for me and my girls and money was never an issue and I truly trusted him. When I was diagnosed with herpes, the room just turned black and grew silent. I was speechless, hurt, angry, confused, and I instantly felt dirty. When he got off from work I wanted to politely choke him out. Yes, I knew that he was asymptomatic but, if he was getting a thorough examination every year, he would know...symptom or not. Our sex life was poetic. And now the thought of sex or affection with makes me want to vomit. I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. He wasn't taught these things coming up but, it's not my job to train him. We are both adults and he is older than I am. He is still very much attracted to me physically but my physical attraction has gone down the drain. With so many years invested, how do you stay in the relationship? When he has always been the bread winner, how do you walk away? How do you transition from love to disgust and then back to love? I am an adult and I can't remember the last time I felt so empty and confused. His good outweigh his bad but he embarked on a HUGE deal breaker for me. A man's pride and ego should never get in the way of making such poor decisions when it comes to your health.

Hi I was diganosed with herpes got it from y ex boyfriend who has completely blocked me on everything , I sent him serveal emails lashing out of him he seems not to care I am so hurt , I'm so depressed . I am embarrassed to even be with someone else because once I disclose I have herpes there not going to want to be with me no more , I'm only 23 years old I have my own apartment I work hard and go to school , I wonder sometimes why did this happen to me I'm so hurt I don't know how to over this

My ex BF completely blocked me on everything and blocked my whole family he is so selfish he has a daughter I don't understand how can someone do this to a person . He gave me herpes I mean that's not the reason for our break up but still don't ignore me like I'm nobody , you gave me this and you acting like you don't know me anymore ; I ended up calling his dad to tell him his dad is in complete shock he comes from a Christian home . He is evil he knew he had this and gave it to me he is evil I'm only 23 years old i feel disgusting and dirty and as I said before I don't feel like no one will want me anymore . Me disclosing I have herpes is a deal breaker I already know

It's so interesting because I have had the complete opposite reaction to to most of the people on this thread to my diagnosis. I found out that I had it this June on my birthday. Sure I was worried and very upset when I thought I might have it, but when I got the positive diagnosis I realized that there is no use crying over spilled milk. I have always been so careful and overly worried about my sex life. I have only had a few partners. Looking back, there is nothing I could have done to avoid it besides being abstenant. We did nothing to deserve this and it DOES NOT DEFINE US. We are still the beautiful, strong, smart and fabulous people we were before the diagnosis. Sure we have to have really hard conversations with any future partners, but there will be future partners for us and we will be stronger because of those conversations. Love yourself, herpes and all, or no one else will.

My 15 years old and i was diagnosed with genital herpes but Im still waiting on my test to come back. I've been in Shock ever since I found out. I feel so disgusted with myself! I'm ONLY 15! I have a whole life ahead of me and now I have to live with this damn STD. I did something that probably a very bad 15 yr old girl would do. I got very drunk with my boyfriend and my bestfriend, and we.. we had a 3 some. Right??! How could I have done that??? So with that being my cause of my STD im EXTRA disgusted with myself. 2 days later i started my period and that's when I started to break out. It's the WORST. I'm still broke out but its healing (very slowly) I told my boyfriend that I have it and he's hurt with me, but thankfully he's still with me. Some how I got it but my bestfriend is clean and so is my boyfriend. So far I'm the only one that broke out. How could I have gotten this std if my bestfriend didn't have it before we had sex nor my boyfriend? That's the part i don't understand. I'm sad this happened to me and only me (so far). The worst part is my mom doesn't know yet until she gets that Call back from the doctor. My mom even thinks I'm a Virgin!!! So this will be super bad. I'm such a terrible daughter. I need someone to help me cope with this Even though Maybe I don't really deserve it.

Hi Sarah .my name is mary.last summer I was diagnosed with herpes 2 .. I'm feeling really down and depressed.my first outbreak was so bad I didn't know what to do.I had 4 outbreaks already and now I got another one.will the pain ever go away?

I'm so overwhelmed , just got lab results I have herpes , I'm so paranoid I have kids and I feel like I can pass them to them I also can't seem to cope emotionally I wish I could back in time

Hey Sarah how r u haven't been officially diagnosed I got the it looks like herpes but were not sure talked ao the sobbed me and im hust waiting on my results im taking the meds cause there treating me like they already know ... so im tryingnto cope with it its just been two days how will it get easier should I be beat in my self up like what am I suppose to feel im numb I dont have an appetite I just lost for words because I feel like when I get the results its going to be positive because there already treating me please respond back I need advice