Tearing during sex.

I have been experiencing this, every time I have penetrative sexual intercourse.  We have used a lot of foreplay, lube, and I made sure I’m relaxed and anxious but still the perineal aspect of my vagina is still tearing.  I feel frustrated. I have been using pills, and I think it is maybe the cause.  

It hurts so bad

Hey Sarahjosh. Not sure if still an issue for you, but now on my nineth year and just started using dermaveen body wash about 2 months ago... and the tearing has stopped. I’m flabagasted. Hope this helps you! I’m going to try going back on the pill now too and see if it makes any changes - fingers crossed. 

I’ve had the same problem. Recommendation for those who still have sex even with the pain, put an ice cube on your vagina after, or a cold water bottle if you don’t want it too cold and have it just placed on your labia and as close to your vagina as possible. A couple minutes later, immediate release of pain. Would definitely recommend- quick fast cheap and easy. It will still hurt after but about 80 percent of the pain went down for me after holding a refrigerated water bottle there till the water bottle turned like warm (20 ish minutes) 

Hello everyone...so, I went to my gynecologist  this past Tuesday and (because I am menopausal) she said that my vagina is too dry and that is the main reason this happens, and apparently, it is very common (although my current sexual partner said that I do lubricate very well during sex) and she gave me a hormonal cream that I have to apply 2 times a week inside my vagina - for the rest of my life, she said - it’s called Premarin, and according to her, this should help me be moist and lubricate as a normal non-menopausal woman (I am 32 btw, I just went through chemo and TBR - Total Body Radiation - at the age of 17 and so my ovaries stopped working since then).

Now...for what I experienced, I suspect that at first, it is not too wet to allow penetration without tearing the skin...but after a few seconds I do feel like I get super lubricated, but usually, the damage is already done...so I guess I should also lubricate a lot before the first penetration and do it very softly for the first part at least. Also, I found that certain positions worsen it (even making the tear open more), and so I’ll try to avoid those too...but for now, I have to wait till the wound heals properly because it got infected, so I’m being treated for that which is such a pain in the ass to be honest...but what can you do right?

I hope this info helps some of you a little and if you already have done something similar and did or didn’t work, I will appreciate it if you could share your experience with me so I’d know what to expect

I’m having this problem too, and it’s making my already bad mental health problems a lot worse. Sex was the only thing I could really look forward to in my life and now that it’s too painful, I don’t know what I’m going to do.

I’m only 18, and I’ve been with this boyfriend for almost a year now. He’s very supportive but our relationship is already under a lot of strain due to external circumstances, so I’m scared that this will be the thing that breaks it. I can’t lose him over something so stupid, he’s the most wonderful person I’ve ever met and I’m determined to find a cure. 

As I said, I’m 18 years old, and I’ve been sexually active since I was 15. I’ve not got any STIs, and I’ve been on the pill for 10 months now (Levonorgestrel / Ethinylestradoil) so maybe that’s a commonality in these cases? It’s very rare that I use lube, because I tend to produce a lot of natural lubricant, but when we do use lube we use coconut oil. As I said, though, this is very rare and we haven’t had to use it for months. I’ve had a chronic UTI for almost a year now, which doctors have found no permanent way of treating, but the symptoms are no longer very noticeable so long as a drink a lot of water.

I’m going to try whatever it takes to start having sex again. I found that smoking weed before hand gives me about 15 minutes without pain before it sets in again, and I plan on using codeine pain killers too to see if that numbs the pain. I’m also going to start using coconut oil every time I have sex, and asking my boyfriend to be more gentle because we’re usually quite rough. 

I did think that perhaps this might be an anxiety thing? I’ve never had problems having sex until this past month or so, and in the past year I’ve experienced roughly one traumatic event per month, causing my anxiety to reach the point where it’s difficult to leave the house. I had a particularly traumatic event at the start of last month, and I’m scared that this might be the cause. If it is, it’ll be a lot more difficult to treat, as despite repeated visits, doctors refuse to take my mental health seriously or prescribe any medication to lessen the anxiety or depression.

I’m severely suicidal and if this is how the rest of my life will be, I’m not sure how much longer I can take it. I’m a very sexually charged person with a very high sex drive, so to have this taken away from me makes me feel so inadequate and helpless, I don’t know what to do. Please, if anyone has any idea what might be causing this, or any kind of cure, please tell us so we can all try to move on from this horrible experience 

Hello, whilst I am sorry to hear about this, I’m also happy to know I’m not alone! Tearing for me began jan 16, I went to the doctor & got a very big tub of Vaseline, didn’t work, I went back & got dermal500 soap/body lotion to use on my area, didn’t make a difference, finally they sent my to the Gynaecologist & I was tests for STIs, although I’d been with my partner for 3years at that point, I was clear of everything. I left with dilatory, lidocaine, more body wash/soap & lube & a good luck! There was nothing more they could do! 😳 this wasn’t good news as my partner was about ready to leave me, said he shouldn’t have to compromise on his sex life. This was October & in November i started taking marine collagen supplements & by feb 2017, I was back to normal! One day it just stopped hurting! I also have had mental health issues and I was now in a new job that I loved & life was a bit easier.

Now March 2018, it’s back. Life is stressful again, I’m not sure if they are connected, but I’m in terrible pain. I came off my BC & collagen because Home wasn’t a happy place for several reasons, so I don’t know if that and the stress is a contributing factor? All I know is my SO of 5y now is raging about it & has decided not to leave me, because that isn’t the right thing to do??! Thankyou?! I’ll go back into the collagen & see if that works again to give my area the spring that it needs! 

Maybe it may work for you all too?! 

It’s a really sad, unfair thing to get, the act that makes you closer to someone, is now pulling us apart. I hate sex now & this puts so much pressure on me/it! Even when I was ‘fixed’ we still had to go slow, it was bumpy & awkward, like we were brand new at it! 🙈 it’s all so unfair! 

hi,

please share if anyone found the solution for this. its affecting my marital life very badly.

Hi I've been having similar problems as many of you have described. I'm 24 years old and my issues started when I was 22. I've been with my boyfriend for two years. Six months into our relationship I experienced vaginal dryness for about a week. After that incident I started experiencing tearing on the perineum and a stinging raw pain inside the vagina. Went to the doctor and got a steroid cream that helped for a few months. Then the pain returned and I tried switching to a higher dose birth control pill, which seemed to help for six months and then the pain returned again. I switched back to my low dose birth control because the higher level one was just making my periods heavier and not helping my problem anymore. I've been tested for yeast a few times and it always comes back negative. My doctor sent me to a gyno, took a biopsy of the skin and it showed nothing. He gave me estrogen cream and that did nothing for me. I went back to my doctor and tried steriod cream mixed with antifungal cream, which only helped sometimes.

I then started taking pictures when my vagina would flare up with the cuts and look red after sex. I showed the pictures to my new gyno and she said it might be psoriasis. I went to a dermatologist and I showed him the pictures and he said it was psoriasis. He perscribed me some cream and I go to the pharmacy and find out it's just a lower dose of the steroid cream I've been using on and off for the past two years. The cream can be helpful for the exterior skin but I don't want to keep using it as the cream is not meant for long term cause it thins skin. And my god I don't need a thinner penireum. Also, I'm still experiencing the burning raw feeling inside during sex! I go back to see the dermatologist in a month to ask for other non steriod cream ways to treat my psoriasis. I'm also hoping he might know something about how to help the pain on the inside. I keep reading that genital psoriasis rarely affects the mucas membranes, but I tell you it's definitely affecting the membranes inside my vagina!! My gyno is also getting me an appointment at a vulva clinic to see if my pain inside is being caused by something unrelated to the psoriasis or if the psoriasis is causing another vaginal problem. I know the post is long lol but it's nice to share with others going through the same s****y thing. Also if I can help out some other poor woman constantly being told she has yeast when it's actually psoriasis.

Did you get any resolution to your problem?

I realise this was posted over 3 years ago but as I have had a similar issue for the past 2 I will cut to the chase and list the things I did to cure it/prevent it in the hopes that this info might save the misery for someone else.

After numerous doctors visits at easily 4-5 different doctor surgeries and 3 Pap smears (2 done by very experienced and highly recommend gynaecologists) multiple tests for STDs, insufficiencies, diabetes ect. It was confirmed time and time again to be thrush and as was pointed out by my last gynaecologist, a very stubborn strain that was unaffected by canesten and other conventional anti fungal creams.

1) the first thing recommended as a “last resort” was Boric Acid suppositories. These were crucial in killing off the thrush, I believe the acid more or lesss burns away all bacteria/fungus to allow your environment to start over. It was also noted on another forum I read that your vagina is more acidic in its healthy state than an actual lemon. So my guess is the Boric Acid (which comes from the ocean) also helps to balance things out. 2) Inner health plus/pro-biotic capsules. I have also changed my diet to include things like kimchi, sauerkraut, Greek yoghurt etc. but I’ll be honest, I never noticed a difference until I started taking the pro-biotics. Don’t mess around just trying to change your diet to heal naturally, thrush is pretty much a manufactured problem given that it’s brought about by things like the birth control pill and antibiotics. Best to treat it with equally strong, solutions.

3) quit the birth control pill. In my case it was Levlen, a very reliable and convenient estrogen based pill that gave me no side effects but I believe prolonged the thrush as it feeds off estrogen and sugar.

4) the last doctor I went to (and the most useful) prescribed me with a combination anti fungal-steroid treatment after hearing me tell my medical history over the past two years and the numerous treatments we had both tried. The steroid cream was also crucial in getting rid of this issue (bottom of my vagina splitting apon entry) as it gave the skin a chance to heal on the outside area while the boric acid took care of the inside. I went to 3 different doctors after I decided I wanted to try a steroid cream. The first two made me take more tests and gave me more prescriptions for canesten. The last one listened, suggested the pro-biotics and took my word, which in turn solved my problem and my sex life. So the lesson with that last one is to be persistent.

Best of luck ladies!

Hi again,

I got a notification about someone requesting the name of the doctor I saw. The surgery was called smartclinics Toowong I believe, and though sadly I cannot remember the doctor’s name (he was an Asian gentleman) I can say with confidence that the other doctors both my husband and I have seen at that practice also have a very professional and caring demeanour and will work with you rather than against.