Tearing during sex.
Posted , 60 users are following.
Hi I've had this problem for nearly 9 years now. I've been to many different doctors, and I still don't have an answer.
Basically every single time I have sex, that's even if I can have sex, I tear in my vaginal opening. Mainly the bottom part.
It can happen in foreplay, or trying to have sex.
I always make sure I'm lubed up, always go slow, try to be relaxed as possible, and stop when it gets sore. It just seems to tear almost straight away, over the tiniest bit of pressure. Then sometimes it burns when I wee afterwards, as the tears can be quite deep.
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years, we've both been tested for STDs, I don't have thrush, and the doctors don't seem to be much help.
Even though we can't have sex, we are still sexually active, and have a happy healthy relationship, but as you can imagine not being able to have sex can be frustrating.
I have Different sized dildos to graduate slowly, and still this doesn't help.
So please if anyone knows why this is happening, it would be very very helpful.
I've been through all the obvious things, so maybe something more unusual/not very common is going on?
0 likes, 112 replies
joycelyn_37818 Sarahjosh
Posted
I have been suffering with this issue for the past 7 years. my doctor put me on estrace cream, but nothing seems to be working. I am at my wit end here. I feel very sad. has anyone got some kind of miracle answers for this problem.
saraharound Sarahjosh
Posted
It is January 2019, I realize that this thread is older, has anyone been reading recently?
I'm very sorry to hear that we are all experiencing this, but please, when you make progress on your condition, POST about it to help the rest of us!
I have suffered with this condition for the last several years, though over the course of the last two years, it has done nothing but get significantly worse over time. I do not know how all of you are coping. You are troopers.
natika34016 saraharound
Posted
Hey Sarah, see my post below about Aci-Jel. You just get it from any pharmacy behind the counter. I had the issue for about 8 years (and many many many doctors visits) and find this has been the best partial solution so far. Hope it works for you!
jack93017 Sarahjosh
Posted
someone help me please
clau85 Sarahjosh
Posted
hello everyone, i've been having this problem for the past 1 and a half year, @katrina43462 i find your post very helpful, i will go to my gynecologist to check the options...but i believe my candidiasis test (thrush) came back negative tho...so i will keep searching for a cure....and will definitely let you guys know if i find some solution.
natika34016 Sarahjosh
Posted
Hi Sarah, thought I posted it in here before but can't find it - try Aci-Jel it's worked pretty well for me. Smells a bit but has stopped the splitting, sometimes still a BIT sore. Also found out at the same time I started to use this gel that I was Coeliac and stopped eating wheat, not sure if coincidence or what.
Guest Sarahjosh
Posted
i have had this now for 8 months. i also have tearing sometimes when i have a bowel movement. its like my skin lost all ability to stretch! im only 19
Person202 Guest
Posted
Hi guys! so this popped up in my email and im so sorry to see so many of you still having this problem.
No worries I suffered from it for nearly 7 years.
i mean it was bad and i hopped doctors from those in town, even state to state, hoping for some relief.
last year I finally found a wonderful doctor who specialized in it. Im not sure if im allowed to say his name on here but he is in salt lake city utah and works with the UofU. ugh it was out of town and state but since I came from out of state he managed to help with everything with in a 5 day stay (had to have allergy testing) wait for a change on the skin, hormones checked, the work up) and now i just have to call for refills and go in once a year for a check up.
ANYWAY. k I was diagnosed with lichen sclerosus. im sure many of you have googled it. scary right??? Truth... actually No its kind of like psoriasis with scaring and thin tight skin that splits... and its actually totally manageable and I would say "curable"...
1st off I was told to STOP using anything with lanolin and fragrance. This was tricky its in everything!!! i had to turn to free and clear brands and vanicream. they are the only products i can use. even the only laundry detergents I can use. This was a huge part of my irritations and lanolin was also in most of the medications normal doctors and my gyno gave me. AND PADS??? who knew those and store bought tampons had irritating chemicals in them. they suck but amazon has natural ones. I use natracare (from amazon) but theres lola brand, reusable pads and more at wholefoods.
NextI had to keep the yeast overgrowth under control... he game me a 10 day pill set that was like diflucan on steroids. had to take them for 10 days straight, then one every 3 days and then just 1 200mg ones every 3 weeks to keep it under control.
Finaly i had to go to a special compounding pharmacy and have a very plain yet strong hydrocortizone cream made just for me!!! and use it 4x a day for the 1st month. then 2x a day for months after that... no more burny stong creams that stung and didnt work!!!
this was like magic.
the cream took away the itch within the 1st few days and with in the 1st month the splits went as well!!! it took some time but...
Im about a year from starting all this and GUESS WHAT!!???
lol its undercontrol, I can potty again and have sex with no issues 😃
Its been months (6months) since the last flair up and longer since the last split. i really dont even think I have the issue anymore... ( i still use the cream 1ce a week out of fear it will come back) I swear by this and this doctor.
fingers crossed it never comes back!!!!
guys i really hope this helped. and if you have questions please ask. this problem haunted me for so long and I feel luck to have finally found help!!! I want to help as much as i can even if its just online. please ask questions!!! our comfort matters and noone should have to give up or live with this<3
Sarahjosh Person202
Posted
thank you for this great reply!! so happy for you!
Guest Person202
Posted
like i said i have all these symptoms. i went to a specialist twice and he diagnosed me with vulvodynia. i asked what about the tearing? and he said contact dermitits. he doesnt believe its LS because i have absolutely no white patches at all. but i have every symptom of it! i really feel likethis is what i have. did you have white patches?
nicole87503 Sarahjosh
Posted
have you had all your hormones checked? low hormone levels can lead to thinning of the vaginal tissue, resulting in this issue of tearing.
Guest Sarahjosh
Posted
this is my life omg. my life changed in July 2018 and i was plagued with this mystery condition. i tear in the fourchette (bottom entrance of vagina) during sex. as well as during some bowel movements, i tear around my anal area (sorry tmi).
some background:
im 20
have chronic ebv
diagnosed with hashimotos 2 months before this started (hypothroidism)
healthy weight/eat great
I saw a specialist 2 times after being cleared for every std possible. i had the tears swabbed the day they appeared and i was negative for herpes. also was negative for any viral, bacterial, or yeast by swab (multiple times). i then i got 3 std blood test panels. all months apart. obviously all negative. The specialist diagnosed me with vulvodynia and vulvar vestibulitis. i spent months in hell thinking my cheating ex gave me something... but thank god its not. this all started after a large round of antibiotics. i feel all of your pain. right now the specialist wants me to not use soaps and only cotton underwear. i wish i knew what this was. i hate the uncertainty.
christina17859 Guest
Posted
Hi Nicole I have been searching for answers. There sure are alot of us ladies dealing with this. Some have taken drastic measures. Here's what I just learned about. In fact stumbled onto it on this site then read into more. I read that it has to do with candida which is basically a yeast that messes with our flora. And I haven't had yeast infections and such. Nor smelly odor or discharge. But basically this lady told that she had like overgrowth of candida. Not sure exactly how she worded it. But bottom line her Dr. put her on probiotics and boric acid suppositories. So I would recommend you research more on candida. Here is what is so cool I read about Thorne Formula SF722 which I purchased through Amazon. You can read the 300 some customer reviews . And look into it yourself. Me and my husband are taking 1 gelcap a day because I started with more and it made my stomach hurt . I can honestly tell you a week maybe two of using this and we had sex that did not tear for the first time in a long while. I believe there are further steps to take that have to do with removing the dead yeast and replacing good flora back into our bodies. But I do believe this is going to work. Good luck to you. I think it is appalling our Doctors cannot recognize something so many of us suffer from. I can handle pain but vaginal tearing is the worst. I treat the tears with cayenne which burns but heals quickly. Also research cayenne. It is so great an herb. Dr Schultz sells excellent cayenne.
christina17859 Guest
Posted
Girl, Look into Thorne Formula SF722 You can get it through Amazon. Read the 300 customer reviews and go from there. I just started it less than a month but I had sex and no tearing after a miserable 2yrs or so of painful sex. Research candida and this formula. I believe it was my problem. Time will tell for sure. Good Luck
Guest christina17859
Posted
thank you! i never had a yeast infection so i didnt think it could be that. i will look into it.
amy52657 Guest
Posted
hello, i know im a bit late to the party but i was wondering if there was any advice or solutions r.e vaginal tear from sex. im 23 years old from England, UK and have been with my boyfriend and being sexually active for 6 years. everything was great up until 6 months ago i noticed a tear in the bottom of my vaginal opening, unsure whether caused from sex or scratch from tampon. i am waiting for a gynae appointment, but i am on a 12 week waiting list on the NHS. i have seen 2 GP's who have been puzzled and prescribed antifungal and antibacterial creams, but these still havent worked. i am unsure whether it is the same tear that keeps opening, or whether it is a new one, but virtually everytime i have intercourse it now tears. it is only spots of blood which goes after a few hours, but still stings. i have been waiting months to have sex, similar to the healing time of a perineal tear from childbirth is recomended (i have never gave birth, just read around a lot) but i am not sure if waiting would make any difference. i get anxious now to try intercourse in case it happens again. my boyfriend is great and does not put any pressure on me, it is just myself that would like a solution quickly. thanks in advance
amy52657 christina17859
Posted
hello, i know im a bit late to the party but i was wondering if there was any advice or solutions r.e vaginal tear from sex. im 23 years old from England, UK and have been with my boyfriend and being sexually active for 6 years. everything was great up until 6 months ago i noticed a tear in the bottom of my vaginal opening, unsure whether caused from sex or scratch from tampon. i am waiting for a gynae appointment, but i am on a 12 week waiting list on the NHS. i have seen 2 GP's who have been puzzled and prescribed antifungal and antibacterial creams, but these still havent worked. i am unsure whether it is the same tear that keeps opening, or whether it is a new one, but virtually everytime i have intercourse it now tears. it is only spots of blood which goes after a few hours, but still stings. i have been waiting months to have sex, similar to the healing time of a perineal tear from childbirth is recomended (i have never gave birth, just read around a lot) but i am not sure if waiting would make any difference. i get anxious now to try intercourse in case it happens again. my boyfriend is great and does not put any pressure on me, it is just myself that would like a solution quickly. thanks in advance
nasty_nikk78320 amy52657
Posted
Hello AMY,
I know how you feel. Please do not have sex until you heal completely. Vaginal tears normally takes awhile to heal.
Hopefully your doctor will be able to prescribe a vaginal cream that will heal the tear but in the meantime try to avoid vaginal sex. Try other means of pleasing each other.
amy52657 nasty_nikk78320
Posted
thanks so much for your reply. i originally waited 4 weeks and then tried sex again and the same thing happened. i have had steroid and antifungal creams in the mean time. i was going to try sex again a week before i see the gynae, just so i know exactly how it is and can say that it is still happening despite waiting, if it does happen again. that would be a total of 16 weeks (4 months) without intercourse, do you think that is enough time?
also, how do you know if it has healed? i do not have any visible tear, it is not painful and when i stretch the skin it doesnt seem to tear (until stretched too far)
many thanks
nasty_nikk78320 amy52657
Posted
You're welcome! I totally know how you feel. I have not had sex in awhile due to the fear of this. Please see read the below article.
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irene28256 amy52657
Posted
Hi there!!!! I have been suffering with the same issue for 4 years now after giving birth to my daughter (whom I gave birth with cesarean) doing all the exams my gyno suggested (hormones, all sexually transmitted diseases, even biopsy of the skin at that spot) and everything was negative. Vaginal lubs did not always help and in the end my gyno decited to make a surgery and remove the forchette at the bottom of my vagina that kept tearing during intercourse. And guess what? Unother tear after all the trouble and pain of that surgery. I said that's it I'll never have normal sex again and I was crying all the time, I lost my sexuality and I thought I was going to lose my husband as well. After that my gyno suggested buying vaginal dilators from internet and he prescribed an estriol cream to use it on that spot twice a week and make dilatation with the dilators to help the vaginal opening to become more elasticized because for some unexplicable reason the bottom of the vagina lost its elasticity. Maybe the reason is the stress and noone of all the doctors I have visited could give me any answer. Anyway I keep doing this "curing" for 3 years now and I can have normal sex without pain and tearing only if I start slowly slowly and when my husband is not too rush. And I use a lub for sure.... So ask your gyno as well for these dilators and the estriol cream. Moreover, since you did not gave birth yet, when you have a baby do not have a cesarean. It's better to have a vaginal delivery and maybe the tears will be completely healed after all that vaginal stretching. I am here always reading your posts and would like to help if I can.
amy52657 irene28256
Posted
thanks irene that is really helpful. im sorry you had to go through that stress for so long, i really hope everything is sorted for you! i will look into dialators as i will try pretty much everything!
irene28256 amy52657
Posted
Hi again!!!! If you find and answers about the cause let me know. Maybe you find the right doctor in UK and I could follow another therapy as well as I am sick of these dilators.. I am from Cyprus by the way and the bad thing in my country is that all the doctors try to earn more and more money from patient. I have a narrow vagina as all the doctors said but this has never been a problem to my sexual life. I have already gave birth to 2 children with cea section. If only I could give birth to a 3rd baby with vaginal delivery I would try even that in order to find a solution to this mystery. But the doctors said it's deadly dangerous after doing 2 cea section. So darling if you don't find a permanent cure, try to have a baby 😉😉... Await for replies
Guest amy52657
Posted
i have the exact issue. tearing in the same spot during sex. i also have tearing after certain bowel movements (tmi sorry) but it seems like my skin has lost all ability to stretch. and im only 19