Tearing during sex.
Posted , 60 users are following.
Hi I've had this problem for nearly 9 years now. I've been to many different doctors, and I still don't have an answer.
Basically every single time I have sex, that's even if I can have sex, I tear in my vaginal opening. Mainly the bottom part.
It can happen in foreplay, or trying to have sex.
I always make sure I'm lubed up, always go slow, try to be relaxed as possible, and stop when it gets sore. It just seems to tear almost straight away, over the tiniest bit of pressure. Then sometimes it burns when I wee afterwards, as the tears can be quite deep.
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years, we've both been tested for STDs, I don't have thrush, and the doctors don't seem to be much help.
Even though we can't have sex, we are still sexually active, and have a happy healthy relationship, but as you can imagine not being able to have sex can be frustrating.
I have Different sized dildos to graduate slowly, and still this doesn't help.
So please if anyone knows why this is happening, it would be very very helpful.
I've been through all the obvious things, so maybe something more unusual/not very common is going on?
0 likes, 112 replies
amy52657 Sarahjosh
Posted
hello, i know im a bit late to the party but i was wondering if there was any advice or solutions r.e vaginal tear from sex. im 23 years old from England, UK and have been with my boyfriend and being sexually active for 6 years. everything was great up until 6 months ago i noticed a tear in the bottom of my vaginal opening, unsure whether caused from sex or scratch from tampon. i am waiting for a gynae appointment, but i am on a 12 week waiting list on the NHS. i have seen 2 GP's who have been puzzled and prescribed antifungal and antibacterial creams, but these still havent worked. i am unsure whether it is the same tear that keeps opening, or whether it is a new one, but virtually everytime i have intercourse it now tears. it is only spots of blood which goes after a few hours, but still stings. i have been waiting months to have sex, similar to the healing time of a perineal tear from childbirth is recomended (i have never gave birth, just read around a lot) but i am not sure if waiting would make any difference. i get anxious now to try intercourse in case it happens again. my boyfriend is great and does not put any pressure on me, it is just myself that would like a solution quickly. thanks in advance
angela61050 Sarahjosh
Posted
hi everyone,
it's such an awful thing and I've had it for 3y and been to gyno, nothing. my GP said it was in my head. I have scars to prove it's not. gyno said nothing to be done as my scar is too small and my cervix etc. looks fine? so I started taking hydrolysed marine collagen. I am a research scientist, so I looked into what could plump my skin up as it feels like there is no give there in that area. I have notice a HUGE difference. 2 tablets a day, plus power through with semi regular sex as you need sex hormones flowing. I am rarely in the mood and it IS a thought & I am scared, but I promise this has really worked for me. these tablets are £26 at Holland and barrett for 60, but I've been referred to gyno again because I have a new GP and i told her about my self medication. if I can prove this is working I'll get college on the NHS. I stopped it for a month and my tearing came back. I know every one is different, but its something to try? I noticed a difference in 7 days of taking 2 a day! xx
irene28256 angela61050
Posted
Hello!!!! What was your New gyno's opinion about the tablet from holland and barret? If it's worth to try I' buy them as well
clau85 angela61050
Posted
question, i found this on amazon: NEOCELL LABORATORIES MARINE COLLAGEN + HYALURONIC ACID, is it the same?? please let me know...i will ask my doctor about this one if it's the same component as the ones you are taking 😃
thanks a lot 😃
clau85 Sarahjosh
Posted
hello everyone, @angela61050 those tablets sound good. I will definitely ask my doctor about them. I am from South America, honestly, I think doctors here are not familiarized with this condition...I thought I was the only one suffering from this, since apparently NONE of my friends have ever heard of it...I've never known what sex is like without this tearing...honestly I started having sex late in my life, I'm 33 now, I've been without sex for about 6 months now, and the little sex I had before was very spaced between them, because of this tearing problem....once or twice a month at best!...One time I remember I had a tearing and I had sex again a couple of days after that and it teared soooooo badly that I had to go to the gyno for her to tell me that it was all infected and I needed to use some antibacterial cream and some ointment to help it scar faster....that alone left a very big scar in my perineum. Honestly...I love sex, so in the lack of solutions for this I've resorted to anal sex...for a while it was ok, but it's not a solution either 😦
I know I'm probably sharing a bit too much here, but i think is a good way to also let others know they are not alone, and whatever they have tried it's ok, and every piece of information is vital, since not to many people (doctors) seem to know how to solve this.
amy52657 Sarahjosh
Posted
hi ladies,
i was wondering if you girls have sex despite the tearing? i waited 4 weeks in case a tear was re-opening but then still had a tear. so i have now waited 8 weeks without intercourse (having fun with other options). i have a gynae appointment in another 8 weeks. i was planning on waiting until just before this appointment and then trying sex to then be able to tell the gynae what the problem is. i was unsure whether it was the same tear reopening, but listening to your problems its possibly new tears each time (which has not yet been investigated). i dont know whether to try sex now after 8 weeks without, or whether to wait even longer until before my gynae appointment. any opinions??
clau85 amy52657
Posted
hello Amy...in my case specifically, it tears open every time i have sex, no matter how long i wait in between...one time i even waited 3 months...it was super healed and everything but still...it happened...so i don't think waiting it out is the answer unfortunately 😦
and i have to say that usually that tear it's completely healed for sure after a month...so if it keeps happening it means that there is another issue we have to take care of. I would recommend you to ask your gyno about that pill they were talking about in previous comments 😃
best of luck!
Guest clau85
Posted
i found the same results. doesnt matter how long you dont have sex. it seems to always tear again. its a really upsetting condtion. im only 19 so i have no idea what this could be. i also tear sometimes during bowel movements. i know thats a little tmi. but clearly the skin just doesnt want to stretch anymore. any of you experience anal tears along with vaginal tears?
saraharound Guest
Posted
hi, i have the same problem, with tearing on my anus also! recently i went to a new gyno. she suggested calendula ointment, but dont get it internal (dont get it into the vagina or rectum). this is my first day trying it. she says it works wonders for other people and it is a completely natural treatment. keep us updated if you make any progress!
saraharound Sarahjosh
Posted
Hi everyone. I just saw a new gyno. she had a suggestion i have never heard of, and i have never read about on here. she says shes not seen this problem specifically in the past. she suggested calendula ointment (applied topically, avoid internal use, such as vagina or rectum). if it works, ill let you guys know! she said that this ointment worked wonders for her previous patients with various inflammatory/healing issues down there, so i figured why not try it.
please note: calendula is part of the family of flowers that marigolds are in, if you have an allergy to marigolds, test this product on the thin skin of your inner wrist (where youd dab perfume) before applying to sensitive areas
rosieflo saraharound
Posted
Hi everyone,
I've just read all the comments on this thread and really relate to a lot of them. I thought I would post (even though I've never posted in a forum before) because I see its still active and would love any advice/to speak to someone would has gone through this/is going through it. Sounds silly but it's a very lonely isolating thing to have, especially as a young woman when you're supposed to be in your sexual prime! (I'm 21 for reference). I have been suffering with tearing in the lower part of my vaginal opening/perineum for 6 months now. It started when I was getting chronic recurrent thrush but am now on weekly fluconazole that has cleared up the other symptoms (burning, itching etc), but I continue to get a small fissure in the same place nearly every time I have sex. My partner and I have been using a high quality lube (YES is the best brand in my opinion, highly recommend to anyone with a problematic vagina or just a vagina in general to be honest!) and it's a lot better using that but it's still not 'fixed' even with it/ if we are in the moment and forget to/are a bit rough then all hell breaks loose! It's so frustrating!! In the past I have used dilators/had physiotherapy for vaginismus but have not suffered with this in a few years ( definitely get your hands on some dilators and work up the sizes if painful sex/penetration is hard for you, it was a very liberating experience for me and really worked). I really thought my vagina issues were sorted but GP seems at a loss and keeps telling me to use hydromol (greasy barrier ointment), lube, and has referred me to see another gyno about this tearing. My partner is so supportive but it really gets me down and makes me feel like a broken woman. Maybe some of you can relate? Any advice or words of encouragement would be MUCH appreciated 😃
(For reference I take a high strength probiotic daily and am on the progesterone only birth control pill so I would have though no issues re estrogen but have considered coming off it anyway to see if it helps with vaginal health).
KeepSmilingx Sarahjosh
Posted
I have been splitting on and off for about 15 years.
it started with re-occurring thrush, which made the skin sore and weakened it, causing splitting on having sex. The reoccurring splitting caused a build up if scar tissue at the perinium side of the vagina. Sex became difficult, each time splitting occurred and increased the scar tissue. Plus re-occurring thrush.
Luckily a good GP referred me and I had a fentons procedure to remove the scar tissue and delicate skin. Then took the progesterone only pill, which stopped my periods and helped stop reoccurring thrush.
I continued to split.... I was watching a UK TV programme called embarrassing bodies and a lady was suffering similar issues. She was referred to a Dr Yell based in NW England. So I booked to see her privately!
A quick diagnosis of over sensitive skin, prescribed antihistamines.. plus a thick ointment to keep the area protected and lubricated.... Success!!
Then menopause hit and suddenly the splitting has started again... GP has prescribed oestrogen cream, no change, so started HRT a few months back. Still splitting. It doesn't hurt, but doesn't help an active sex life.
So off to hospital soon to see a specialist, let's see what happens.
On the positive side I was at my wits end many years ago, so I feel for many of you. It was fixed and I was enjoying a fantastic sex life... (something I thought would not be possible).
Please keep pushing to get to the bottom of the cause. For me a dermatologist who specialised in the gynaecological regions was the one who helped me. Stopping my periods also made a huge difference due to my sensitivity to tampons and pads.
Keep positive ladies x
amy52657 KeepSmilingx
Posted
thanks so much for posting this! i actually live in NW england. i am still waiting my gynae apt, finally only 2 weeks away! but if no look i will contact that doctor also. please can you let me know what tablets and ointments you was prescribed so i can see if my dr recomends them for me?
KeepSmilingx amy52657
Posted
Hi,
I must admit GPs seem to automatically refer to gynae consultants rather than dermatologist, when often the problem is down to skin being delicate.
Dr Yell diagnosed me with dermagraphism where the skin is very sensitive to rubbing and tends to come up in red welts. Add in this red welted skin being compromised by re-occuring thrush the elasticity of the skin breaks down and It splits. Add in a bit of eczema. And of course which area gets rubbed and has friction??
The antihistamines to stop the skin being as sensitive was Loratadine.
The ointment was hydromol.
Good Luck Amy and don't give up. It isn't something you have to live with. it might take time to get to the root cause, but make sure you get answers
maggie93950 Sarahjosh
Posted
HI, I've had this problem since I started having sex st 21 , I'm 44 now and have lost all hope. I Had a surgery done 2 years ago and it never helped. My doctors have all been dismissive. I've used the premirine creams and the lidocan cream. I love sex and wish i could enjoy it without pain and tearing. Having sex and then having to wait to heal is depressing. And the fact that these creams are not covered by insurance or that doctors are not interested in helping woman with their sexual health is in furiating.