The torture

Posted , 9 users are following.

I guess I should thank God that a friend fom out of state called the police yesterday I was in SCHOCK and I wasn't very helpful to the police....cause again, I was in bad shape...and still am.  One grabbed a beer from me and I stupidly got it all over him....can crushing and he became a little upset.

​He said there went my chances of smoking a cig prior to leaving.

​UGH...the recovery progress is not as good as I would like...I can't eat today...barely drinking water...All kinds of Drs calling...I can't move....But, I'm not drinking alcohol....

​Trying to focus on the TV and praying the hours move the next day of recovery.

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  • Posted

    I hope you're feeling better asap, Misssy. Try to get some water down and flush that stuff out of you.

    May you soon get this under your thumb. There has been more than enough suffering. 

    • Posted

      Thank you....which is kind of what I was saying when my friend called police...I said I couldn't take the pain of many things anymore and alcohol...takes it away for a short time...but then causes more in the long run.  I should get it by now...but sometimes a person breaks...after so much cr*p going on ALL the time.
    • Posted

      And yup water was basically all I could manage today...weird how bottles and bottles of alcohol...keep going down..but I felt like I was going to lose my stomach today drinking water.
    • Posted

      Yeah, it's gotta be tough. I can only ease into so much of it at once.

      Are you seeing any good way forward with the BPD? 

    • Posted

      There's a site out of the UK called BPDWorld, after the fog clears you might find some helpful stuff there.
  • Posted

    I agree with RHGB since this is EXTREME and you are going downhill constantly.....what to say?? you really have to Robin
  • Posted

    Thank God for your friend. Oh, Missy, I so hope you can get sorted somehow. You're a kind, funny and thoughtful person for everyone else, please be the same for yourself.
  • Posted

    I agree with what what everyone has said to you.  I remember the Missy when I first came on here.  You were sober and I slipped you slipped too.  I was so hoping you'd get back up and fight because you're  very helpful to other people. You never judge and you have a great heart.  WIth this said it makes me think of how I can make a difference to others as I did in the past when I sober 11 years.  I feel after I quit those 2 weeks and started again it's getting worse.  Instead of 3or 4 a day I'm now drinking between 6-7.  That might not be a lot for some for me I see it spiraling out of control. My cell phone is causing me problems and it took all I had to stop and get it checked after work yesterday because all I was thinking about was that first drink.  I did stop and I did later get that 12 pack but I also opened it ASAP and I was only 8 minutes away from home.  This is scaring me.  

    Also, my kids always complain that I always work Mother's Day.  Being in the health care field my schedule flucuates.  Well, this year I was scheduled off.  But, my kids have other plans and my feelings are hurt.  They are 23 and 26 years old.  I was hoping one child would stay free for mom.  sad  So, I switched days with a girl at work so she can spend time with her young son.  (and probably so that gives me Monday off)  That way I drink Sunday after work and wallow in self pity about how I'm alone.  It's like I know the disaster before it happens.  

    So, I'm letting my husband take me to eat when I get home.  

    But, I definitely need to do something soon.  

    I see it in you and I see it in me Missy!  We are like two lost souls with great hearts, great intentions and a wonderful future if we just wake up and look at the big picture!  

    Yes, I've got another dentist appointment today.  A 45 minute drive for 10 minutes.  I am getting a full upper denture made AGAIN and this is all done in a long drive with small steps.  Crazy mad!  

     You are 5 hours away from me.  Maybe that helps us to relate to one another.  Most are another country away.  We are just a few states away.  smile 

    I'll be on and off all day.  MIssy, keep posting!  And I'm also trying to listen to what everyone is telling you.  They know you longer and see something good and I know they're right.  I have a great first intuition!  

    • Posted

      'I feel after I quit those 2 weeks and started again it's getting worse.  Instead of 3or 4 a day I'm now drinking between 6-7'

      That's because it is, it is called Alcohol Deprivation Effect.

      I'll leave our very own ADEfree to explain it, as it is their forte.

    • Posted

      Thank you!  I hope to hear from ADEfree.  I'm trying everything at this point.  I just replied to Missy about making a dr appt.  You can read that one. Everyone is great on here.
  • Posted

    Hi Misssy,nick I and all others. Sorry I've not been contributing recently. Explained in another post( maybe one of those that didn't get through) anyway I didn't have my iPad for over a week( friend took it thinking it was hers! Yes she was drunk. Then the last week I've tried to write stuff and was either too slow or didn't appear. Was nearly ready to throw the thing at the wall so gave up. It might be signal here bad at the mo, I don't know.

    I had a binge 2 weeks ago but ok ish now. I've had a drink with naltrexone,taken correctly, 3 or 4 times since and have kept it to under a bottle of white wine, though still get a hangover the next day. But nothing like after the last binge.

    Im so sorry you've been struggling after doing so well, misssy. It's so hard when you're trying to deal with everyday problems and you haven't got the drink to help you calm down. Been there so many times and it's horrendous. My heart goes out to you and all my dear friends on this site. Hope today is a better day for you xxx

    • Posted

      good to see you and I also want to throw the computer at various times.  That is good that you are back on the Naltraxone regimin.  Such a pain when you type something you really care about and it disappears and then I end up responding with a much lesser response out of frustration.  I like the Prince song...and he can no longer have the chances that we I will keep that in mind today.


  • Posted

    Meant Nicola, not Nick!

    Anyway I think these lyrics from Prince are rather poignant...

    "Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today. To get through this thing called life..."

  • Posted

    Meant Kelly!! Think I need to take more vit b for my brain! At least posts are getting through now😀
    • Posted

      Thanks, really kind of you to say that. I've tried to pick up on many discussions over the last few weeks but gave up in the end as explained above. I think others have been having the same kind of problems after reading a few posts. Anyway I'm back and it's all good today x
    • Posted

      That's a pain, I wonder if it's a problem with Patient? Do you have trouble with other sites at the same time? I was having trouble 2 or 3 weeks ago, but it was only on Patient. 

      Sometimes it can help to shut the computer or device in question down entirely, especially iPads/iPhones, then start them back up again. It gives them a chance to clear their little brains. Some folks go weeks or months without restarting, they just forget that it's something that needs to be done once in a while. 

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