Tinnitus driving me to suicide
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I fell pregnant in Sept 2014 (unplanned). I didn't want more kids as I had a bad experience after my son was born 9 years ago. I had dizziness, feeling of sleeping and never waking up again, panic attacks etc. I took a long time to recover. So when I feel pregnant (after 9 years) my husband told my son he is going to be a big brother and he got so excited and I didnt have the heart to abort the pregnancy as I saw how happy he was. I was scared to go through with it considering how it was when my son was born but decided to do it anyway for the sake of my son. In November 2014 I had a feeling in my right ear that I was losing my hearing so I made an appointment with an ENT. He did tests but never told me my hearing in my right ear was bad, he just kept quiet. I was so stupid and didnt even ask him what the tests showed. He just gave me drops to put in my ear. I went home and put the drops one day and the next day I would put olive oil and kept this going for a week. However I felt this blockage was getting worse but didnt think anything about it. I had tinnitus in my right ear previous to this for about 2 years. It wasnt something I even noticed because it only happened at work when I was stressed but other than that I never noticed it so I didnt worry too much. At the end of Dec 2014 I woke up one morning with this terrible noise in my right ear which scared the sh*t out of me. I was so scared you would not believe it. I also had this fullness in my right ear as if someone stuffed cotton wool in it. I thought it would go away but a week later it was still there only this time I had a noise in the centre of my head by my nose, a different static sound. I was getting more scared by this time. Then at the beginning of Jan 2015 I had a miscarriage. The noise however still remained. I then went for an MRI and CT scan at the end of January 2015, all clear. I then did blood tests, all clear. I then went for a CT Angiogram and was told there is a narrow blood vessel at the back of my head on the right side but that they are not sure if this is causing the noise. I was advised to "just live with it" as they could not put a stent in as there is a huge risk of a stroke. My doctor then called me in and said that it "could" be tinnitus and there is nothing they can do about it. I have been depressed since that day. Its almost 7 months now and I cry so often as I miss my "normal" life when I didn't have this freaking thing !! I am so suicidal and I don't know what to do. I almost jumped off the building today where I work but I keep thinking about my son. If it wasn't for him I would be dead right now. How do I cope and live with this forever. What if I live until a 100 years old, OMG, how will I manage with it until I die. I don't think I can do this. I am so depressed and yes I saw a psychiatrist and a psychologist and 4 different ENT doctors, GP's, Audiologists etc etc. I am so sick and tired of doctors, hospitals etc. My life has been and is still hell for the last 7 months. I cannot sleep like I used to. I used to sleep "like dead". Now when I wake up at 3am I cannot get back to sleep like I used to. To top it all off I moved to a new house in Sept 2014 and I am homesick for my old house as there I was healthy with no tinnitus and happy. Now I am miserable in a home I hate. PLEASE PLEASE anyone help me. What must I do to cope ?
9 likes, 108 replies
zunelast shabs40533
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shabs40533 zunelast
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Thank you for your advice. Do you have hearing loss as well cos I believe hearing aids are for those with severe hearing loss. I was told to get a masker as the T. is only in my right ear. Do you think that would help or should I get a hearing aid? Does the hearing aid actually help in blocking out the T.
I just wish the doctors would hurry up and find a cure soon. There are too many people out there that are suffering daily.
Take care, chat soon.
Eduardo_Maneli shabs40533
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zunelast shabs40533
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Take care.
zunelast shabs40533
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shabs40533 zunelast
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shabs40533 zunelast
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zunelast shabs40533
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shabs40533 zunelast
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The patch I am talking about can be seen on facebook. Go in and read what is said and let me know what you think. Take care.
zunelast shabs40533
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shabs40533 zunelast
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VauxhallGirl shabs40533
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I have, however, learnt to NOT FOCUS on the noise in myhead, but to push it to the back, and keep it under my thumb, as it were.
Focausing on it will make it a bigger problem for you, so go and see your Doc, and have him refer you to someone who can tell you how to *ignore* the noise. I can't remember what its called, now, but that, and masking the noise with background sounds - I hear a lot of people say they have a fan on at night to cover the noise - and a radio on during the day. Just keeping your mind off it makes such a difference.
shabs40533 VauxhallGirl
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VauxhallGirl shabs40533
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To be honest, I can't remember if it was a shock to me.
I used to go to music gigs regularly, and always left the venue with my ears ringing. By the morning, or the next day, the ringing would be gone.
Then one day, it didn't go....and has been with me ever since. Thinking about it, it's probably been with me nearer thirty years.
I guess I just got used to it. I do remember mentioning it to a friend of mine, and she told me about someone she knew who had been driven mad with it...so that was when I decided not to let it get the better of me. I always have some background sounds going - not loud, just there to mask it. Nothing drowns it out completely, but if you focus on the background sounds, you don't notice it.
I have never been to a TRT therapist - just learned to ignore it myself (though actually, whenever I visit a site talking about timmitus, I tend to find myself noticing it, so once I stop writing, I have to push it back into the shadows again). My T is like a high pitched 'eeeeeeeeee' sound.
I haven't taken any meds or vitamins (though for general health I take a multi vitamin, so not sure if that helps). All I do is avoid upsetting my T. I wear ear defenders when hoovering, or doing the lawn, or even using an electric shaver. All those things set it off like a box of rattlesnakes!
T has effected my hearing - like you, my hearing in my right ear is not so great. T sort of makes me hear everything through a noisy filter, so small sounds don't get through to me. Which I find sad, as I live in the country, so don't get to enjoy the subtle sounds of nature...but when i find myself feeling sad, I tell myself off, that at least I have my health, etc, and get back on the mindset of not letting it take me over. The TRT therapy will really help you to cope with it. So keep that up. Mike98973 has a lot of good ideas in his posts. I may even steal a few tips for myself.
shabs40533 VauxhallGirl
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VauxhallGirl shabs40533
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mike98973 VauxhallGirl
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One of my dear friends is a doctor who has chronic Tinnitus. Together, we have studied the most current medical textbooks on the subject. We have researched just about every treatment protocol offered.
Thus, my recommendation list (things to be considered) is an abstract from our many hours of reading clinical studies and contacting research clinicians in the field of Tinnitus.
Factual: Every modality / treatment protocol will have a different result for each patient. Tinnitus is truly a very complex hearing system and neurological condition. Therefore, I always recommend trying the least expense process first. However, I believe above & beyond everything; one must get a decent nights sleep - what ever it takes to do so must be done.
Regarding a situation of very severe hearing loss; today science and surgical procedures do offer "cochlea implant" technology. This is considered when hearing aids no longer meet the needs of the patient.
We are all actually lucky; in today's world, we do have "things" to try to offset the discomfort. Prior to WW2 and up through 1950's, I do not think anyone heard of the medical term Tinnitus!
In closing here, we have to read and read and then make a decision to try a few processes that may help. *Most of the challenge is psychological adaptation. Honestly, I went "insane" the first year and eventually things do improve to a certain point.
"Thank You"
VauxhallGirl mike98973
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