Tiny Tears

Thanks ginantonic 16. Looking back...yes,I am much better than I was. Still have good and bad days and sometimes I just dont want to get out from under the duvet. Its like some force pushing you , holding you down. (I forgot to say, mornings are always a lot worse than anything else, then evenings...well they can be a bit //// to!

While I was having my coffee this morning, I was thinking, my goodness, the kids have trashed the house and mr horizontal is been his usual mean self, but my goodness...I am soo much calmer, I am not going to blow my fuse and shout and scream at them, then cry, nope...there is no point to that behaiour anyway. Waist of time and energy. The good thing is, that now, I am okay about them trashing the house, and can calmly say, \"please, girls, could you put that away\",,, :lol: :lol:

Yes, Dr Spock is one cool 8) helpful person! Dont know what I am going to do though. dreading going to Vicitm support On Wednesday, half of me is thinking...och Ill just cancel it! I dont really want to throw up on the people there do I? The other part of me says...\"deal with it, otherwise you will never get out your dark tunnel\". I seem to be getting more and more worked up about it as time goes on.

Anyway, ginantonic 16, I know you have not had it easy, thank you for your kind words and you to, keep your chin up. (God, I wish I could just stop shaking). Keep

Don't worry and stress out about going to Victim Support, I used to work in that sector, and they are very laid back, very understanding, and don't judge you at all. You'll get a coffee/tea and after the first few minutes you'll feel you've known them forever. Don't forget they have seen and heard it all, they're not easily shocked, and they are there to listen and offer advice. I worked with two lovely ones - one was an ex cop, the other used to be a battered victim herself, so they've been there, done that. Please go, don't be worried about it, if it's not for you, just don't go again, it doesn't work for everyone, sometimes you just want to move on in life and this can feel like it's prolonging it, but at least you will have given it a try. Good luck, and please keep us updated!

:cry: :oops: :cry: This is not getting any better...keep crying. I am foliding away his clothes and tryong to get the housework done...meanwhile my youngest who does not seem very well has fallen of to sleep on the couch. I stroke her face...and all i can see is the baby in her...I just do NOT[b:cb52282e61] wanto to HURT them. How dare he....It makes me livid, but theres nothing I can do about it at the moment, except cry and cry and cry...

How dare he hurt my children!!!!!! How dare he hurt me!!!!!!

When I had children I remeber saying I would never go down this road, as my parents had don. NEVER!!!! I would have done anything no to....but now, I have no choice....Its effing///////// :cry: :cry: :cry: :roll: :roll: :twisted: :twisted: :roll: :roll: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: [/b:cb52282e61]

:cry: :oops: :P :evil: :twisted: :roll: :cry: :cry: God! My partners about to come home from work, I have been making the tea for him , his dad and obviously my children, but I have no appetite, and washing machine in my stomach is on fast spin, I just feel annoyed and hurt today. Then again it is a Sunday! I am getting tired of not being me!!! Soo tired, I know I am getting better, but I still slide down....can I not just be stable.

I am feeling really anxious abouity situation. He could turn round and say I am an alcoholic , call me unstable and take my children of me. I am sooo scared. I have not got the ability to aasert myself!!!! What would you guys do?? Wait until you feel better.....bu tas long as I am with him...will i ever get there? Or take action now...on a risk. :? :? :? :?

Tiny Tears, I don't think that relationship is doing you any good at all! You were ok this morning...I know having a little drink seems the best idea to numb it all (and I'M NOT JUDGING YOU, I've been there too) but tomorrow it's all still there making you feel like crap! And on top of it all, you have a headache. Please, please keep your appointment with Victim Support, they can suggest ways out of the destructive pattern of behaviour that you are stuck in. You obviously love your kids, but surely their happiness and safety, and yours, is more important than this pointless relationship that is obviously making you so unhappy? OK, so it's not easy to start again, but there is a lot of help available regarding housing, furniture, even money and friendship out there, please take time to be good to yourself. If I can do it, so can you. You have a lot to give, I've read some of your posts, and you are a kind, caring person. Use some of that kindness on yourself, please. :love:

hey people, hope you folks are doing well!

Children are the best! My youngest was sleeping on the couch today...I dont know whats up with her, but she is okay now. While she was sleeping with her wee mouth open and a blanket round her, my other daughter Alex put sun glasses, my sun glasses on her and took a photo :lol: :lol: :lol: Shes sooo cheeky, I cant stop laaughing about it!!! What a cute wee sneak!!! :lol: :lol: 8) I love them so much....[b:c9d4bd3192]I dont want to hurt them!!!! Take care, for now, Tiny tears

Ps, I dont get this, she is soo, my eldest, cheeky at hom, but she never gets her wee head/photo off the superstar awards at school. Where did she get her brains from, Shes a marble!!!!! But very cheeky with me. (Not abnoxious though...nat at all!) Thanks for keeping me going this weekend. i appreciate it! Hope I can do the same for eveyone else who has helped me. mrs J, Melbi< Ginantonic16....I am hear anytime..take care!!! :diva: yeah....my mum had a hair dye accident with my head.....god...I look like a ginger ! orange or something...Och well, theres worse things that could happen! :oops: :lol: :lol: :lol: [/b:c9d4bd3192]

Good morning Tiny Tears - are you still going to Victim Support on Wednesday? Read my last message to you, it may put your mind at rest a bit.

Hey, the sun's out today (well, it is here in Leicester!) which means good moods all round. Keep it up all day today.

Lynne. :D

DONt!!! I am in a good moond today.....I cant think about wednesdayy(ooo god just given myself more nausea)....Okay, I have to go....lets not think about it today....you never know what could happen between than and now...(You never know...I might meet a billionaire...who just falls for me between the :lol: :lol: :lol: n and now....who knows......Who gave me these drugs...huh?!)

Hey, I'd settle for a guy that just has a few ££££, never mind a billionnaire! :oops: Fortunately I luuurve the one I'm with, he's a good 'un, there's not many of those about! (And I know, I lived with one of the worst...but that's all locked in the past, so it's ok.)

I've got my youngest (age 15) off school with toothache today, so at least have some company. Got an interview for a job on Wednesday, very very nervous...maybe we could make Weds a day for things to happen for both of us?? :wink:

Let's not think about it!! It's too nice today. I didn't sleep til 3am, (you know, one of those crappy nights where your head won't shut up) so only got up half hour ago, so suppose I must go and have a shower and get dressed now. Will chat later if you're around. Enjoy the day!! :D :D :D :D :D

:shock: Ashton Lane /Glasgow is on the news! (Fire damage or something) But gave me the creeps....hebbie jeeblies...okay i think I have finally cracked up....gone loooooooney!!!!!!

Think I might be sick! :cry:

:oops: :oops: Ginantonic 16, where are you.....someone give me a joke....please....I am fed up with these rollercoaster rides!!!!!!

Partner just phoned...hes being soo nice. I cant make a decision on my life!!!!!!

Hey, the sun's gone in here, have lit the fire it's soooo cold. Daughter still in tooth pain, dentist can't do anything, so sorry for her.

Tiny Tears, I'm here if you want to chat. Sometimes I don't answer for a while, but I'm still here. :coffee: :cake: That's what I'm having right now, really need chocolate, but a bit short of ££ so making do!

:cry: :oops: Its horrible here, wet, windy and cold!!!! Just got back from the school run!!!! Im short of the money 2, so I had some absolutely disgusting, bluh christmas cake witha cup of coffee for lunch......Yuck!!!! Made me feel sick!!! I wanted chocolate,,,,,only had cooking stuff...so the xmas cake got it.......Every year this woman,(who is the skinniest thing you have evr seen goes to this great effort to make the entire village where my mum comes from, dreadful xmas cake.) The stuff usually lasts for a year in our house. (Its oh no....not the dreaded christmas cake, that you could build houses with!) :lol: :lol:

Its yuck!!!! Even my children dont like it...and they like most things with sugar in them! God I do waffle on!!!!

Anyway, I keep getting this lump in my throat...I keep thinking about the events , that happeneed soo long ago...I just cant seem to carry on and not worry, like I used to! :cry: Oh well nevermind, take care, ginantonic 16 :roll: Im just a stuck record!

Iam Sooooooooooooooooo Duh! Messed my password up! :lol: :lol:

Captain of this ship....... I really need your advice??? I soooooooooooooooo want to report what happened to me!! I Know its selfish...I do not really want others to hear abot it............but i do not think I cantalk to anyone about it until I have written about it! Its haunting me tonight, something chronic!!!!!!!!! I am scareeeeed! I am scared no one will believe me, or even, as my so called frineds did, not care to listen or turn a blind eye! It sooo hurts me that stupido me let this happen, but it did...I dont know if talking about it or writing about it will change anything for me...all I know is that it is there...and that , even tough it was a very long time ago, I will never forget it!\\I have been a busy woman , until now,,, But I knew that one day I would crack! Now I have ...yet I feel soooooooo alone with it.so dirty inside........sad and.........disgusted at myself! (WHY DID I LET IT HAPPEN TO ME?). [b:20891d520b]AND WHY, NOW DO I TORTURE NYSELF ABOUT IT, WHEN I HAVE SUCH BEATIFUL YOUNG CHILDREN?[/b:20891d520b]i JUST WANT me back! :oops: :oops: :cry: :cry: :cry: