Too scared to kill myself, how pathetic

Okay, don't give me lectures or anything but just tell me the solution. I'm so afraid of the pain, I pick up the knife or anything but I start sweating and panicky, just tell me how to get it done!

I did a Google search based on how I am feeling and this came up, basically 'I want to commit suicide but afraid of pain'... I get u, deep down i dont want to do it but because of my anxiety n the emotional an mental turmoil I go through on a daily basis I feel I just can't go on. I'm jus seekin out methods that are not so painful, I've been thinkin of ways I could do it. I'm afraid of drowning, i dnt want to cut myself. Sigh.. I kno am not helping here.. Im jus sayin I get u. I'm not on meds, can't afford a therapist although I dnt think a therapist would help because I kno wat they will tell me but I jus can't stop my anxiety n depression

I know how you feel. I feel the same way. However, I'm not scared of death... I'm scared of pain or the pain of a failed attempt. If I could guarantee that shooting myself would kill me, or taking a bottle of pills would, or jumping off a building would, I would be gone by now.

You know one thing I really hate... when I research ways and results of different methods, the help lines come up. I'm so tired of it. It isn't helping it just makes me want to do it more. Throwing that phone number in my face just proves to me that I'm screwed up and EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE would be better off without me.

How pathetic is it that the thought that I might survive is keeping me from doing it and making the world a better place?

I had panic attacks and clinical depression for 4 months ,I thought it would never end , but I found drugs from the doc that helped , learned self-hypnosis , learned meditation. learned something I call brain vacations , creating a brain vacation is easy, imagine lying on a beach, its better if you can add the smells of sun tan lotion , the sounds of waves. make it as real as possible in your mind. them just relax. If the beach ain't your thing , create a mind vacation using your favorite memories, of your favorite places. close your eyes ,and go there in your mind. It works for me maybe it will work for you.

hey Dannie.

Im having the hardest day of my life. nothing happened that would cause me to have a "bad day". just waking up was enough. i try to sleep as much as possible so i dont have to be awake for dealing with this pain of being alive and alone in it. today, i looked up on google, "im too afraid to kill myself but i want to die, what do i do" and after a couple links, your post showed up.

im very tired of being alive and i think im only a couple years younger than you.

can we try to be there for each other? virtually? so we're not so alone?

suicide is always on my mind, but i can't do it because i can't let my family to deal with it so i choose to suffer everyday, just to keep others at peace. I wish i could just let go but i know i wount.

I totally get where youre coming from. Anxiety is so crippling, and having death anxiety makes your anxiety worse. you then think if i ended it all now i wouldnt have the anxiety. But taking your life isnt the right way forward.

Anxiety is an emotion we all feel, its normal. but when it becomes a disorder is very overpowering. Keep going and get all the help you can! Im here if you wanna talk x