Trackingmyjourney

Hi there!

I've been following his progress too, it's nice to both know you're not alone as well as seeing others going through the same thing get better. I read your whole post, I am so sorry you've gone through all of that. I'm going through something similar - I was on citalopram 20mg for about 7 years, worked great, so much so that I got off this past October. Really wish I hadn't lol. I didn't have bad withdrawal, but about 3 months later all my symptoms came back. I started on the med again first on 10mg, then 20mg, then my doctor recommended 40mg since I was still having issues. I've been on the med for 3 months now, slowly going up, and I've been on 40mg for 3 weeks now. I've had strings of normal days which I'm so grateful for, and I've made great progress this whole time, but the normal days won't completely stick quite yet.

I totally resonate with the roller coaster, I thought that once I got back on the med it would just be linear progress... nope. I just keep telling myself that the important thing is that I WILL get there, no matter how up and down it feels. And I know the same for you. It can be frustrating to see people who go on the med and by week 5 they are back to themselves (though I'm happy for them.) It just makes you feel like there's something wrong with you. But I know we will both get through this 😃

Hello, thank you for your response. It makes me happy and sad to know others are going through the same thing I am. It is such a difficult process, but i find peace in knowing I'm not alone. I was convinced that since i was on citalopram before it would be a quick and straight forward process, I was so wrong. I can't entirely remember how it was starting Citalopram 6 years ago, but I'm 99% positive it was quicker than this. I question my dose a lot since after 3 months on 30mg I'm better, but still not doing so great and also because I was on 40mg before. When I started 6 years ago I was never actually on 30mg, I went straight from 20mg to 40mg, but my new dr would like me to give 30mg a try this time around. I'm trying my very best to be patient and give this dose a try, but patience and anxiety don't really go together that well.

What kind of side effects have you experienced? And do you get side effects all over again when you increase your dose?

I absolutely agree that when reading about people that have been back to themselves way earlier it just knocks any confidence you have down some notches. And you're right, so happy for them, but it just makes me feel like "why is it taking so long, this isn't working, there's something else wrong with me."

I have had many thoughts that something else is wrong with me and I will never get through this, but I try and remind myself that I got through this before. Even though I dont remember it being this bad starting out, but I'm sure it was similar and it was great once I settled on the Citalopram.

I really appreciate your kind words, it means so much. It feels so good to connect with someone that truly understands.

Keep in touch, I would love to know how you're doing!

We're super similar. When I initially started the med 7 years ago, it was much smoother and quicker than this time around - I was the exact same, thinking I'd go back on and be back to normal within a few weeks. But realistically I don't remember that much from the first time either! I totally understand your pain. It's such a grueling, sometimes even hellish process. And not knowing what dosage or how long to wait out a certain dosage is so confusing. The trial and error nature of psych meds is the toughest thing.

Also totally relate to the 'never getting through this' thoughts. It's scary. I just remind myself it's super natural to think that when you're in the midst of something hard - but the struggle always fades and you'll wonder why you thought it wouldn't. That's how I feel on my normal days (if only they would stay! But I know they will eventually.)

As far as side effects, my anxiety totally increases when I initially go on the med. I generally just feel crappier - more depressed, anxious, zero appetite, you name it. Totally out of sorts. Luckily though, I've gotten no side effects just from upping the dose (it's been by 10mg each time) which is a relief. Now I have no side effects, just waiting for the 40mg to fully do its job consistently.

I'm so glad I can help in anyway I can! You keep in touch as well - I know we'll both get there.

Thank you so much for the comment and your kind words.

I'm so sorry that you have been suffering too. It is just brutal process.

If someone could just tell me that it will all be fine in the end it would make it a lot easier.

My bad days now were my good days a month ago. Time is our greatest ally.

Hi to both of you.

The "never getting better" is my main rumination. When I'm feeling bad these days this is basically all I focus on.

But when I'm feeling good which is becoming most of the time I don't doubt a full recovery for a second.

I wish you both the speediest recovery possible. I know we will all come out the other side of this as better, more empathic people.

It's so true. It's crazy how actually believing we'll get better is half the battle of this whole thing. But I know we all will, and we'll all end up where we want to be. Like you said, time is your best friend when it comes to these things. Though it passes super slow when you're in it lol - but it always passes and brings change with it.

Praying you make some good progress for your birthday coming up!

Rooting for both of you guys, this will all just be a weird memory one day.

You said it perfectly. If someone would say you will be feeling great and back to normal on this dose at this time I could absolutely deal with that. The doubt is what gets my mind going. I doubt my dose almost daily, I doubt the citalopram will work for me again and I even have doubts about what is actually wrong and if I will ever make it through this. I hold on to other's encouragement and experiences to keep me going. That's really our only option is to just keep going, one day at time!

I know we will all make it through this and time is our friend, but it just seems to pass oh so slowly.

But when i think back I've made significant progress because, like you said too, my bad days now would have been good days not that long ago.

But I'm looking for consistent normal days and thats not happening for me yet.

I hope today is another one of those feeling good and normal days for you!

We are very similar. I hate that you are going through this too because I know just how horrible it is, but I absolutely believe that someday this will just be a distant memory. One day at a time!

You are right, the trial and error of this is one of the hardest parts. If someone could tell me on this day and this dose you will be back to normal this process wouldnt be nearly as difficult, but the uncertainty is what gets me.

Last night I had a glimpse of feeling somewhat normal. Played some board games for family night and I found myself actually laughing and being excited to play, and i even thought "enjoy this because tomorrow morning will be different." I was correct, woke up with the usual morning anxiety, though not as bad as a month ago, but that is sure taking its sweet time to disappear.

I'm at that same point you are, side effects are gone, but just waiting and waiting for the meds to really work. I know that all too well.

I hope that today is a good day for you!

I know, it's like I hate that anyone else would ever have to go through this (wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy) but it's so nice to not be alone in it. And absolutely, if someone could give an exact date of when it'd all be good, it'd be so much easier to power through. Just gotta know that date DOES exist, so there's no need to fret in the meantime. Easier said than done for sure.

Oh I'm so happy to hear you had a good evening! Those are concrete proof that things are improving. I know what you mean about the morning, it's so bizarre how different it is. You'll have plenty more of those evenings though, and soon enough it'll be the norm.

Thanks so much, today has actually been pretty good for me! Getting there slowly but surely 😃

Every word of this is like it came out of my own mouth!

Especially the part about enjoying the good evening because you have to start from scratch again tomorrow.

I was exactly there a few weeks ago. I'm better than that now. I never have a bad evening. I often have almost normal full days. I don't dread the mornings, although they are still the hardest part.

I just keep forcing myself to take my anxiety with me and do normal things.

Time is our ally. I can't wait to be normal.

I am so glad that you had a good day!

I keep holding onto those good times that I have because it definitely makes me realize that the medication is doing something for sure. The frustrating part is the up and down feeling. It's definitely not leveled out yet.

Out of curiosity do you take your citalopram in the morning or at night? And have you had to take anything for sleep or an as needed anxiety medication like lorazepam to help you through the tough times?

I feel like we are so similar in this process. So much of what you have said is like it comes right out of my mouth too. Its very encouraging for me to read that you are having mostly normal days now. I am, according to my calculation, about 20 days behind you (from the point where we hit our resting dose anyway) I always start my counting from my latest dose adjustment because based on my experience anytime you make a dose adjustment its like starting all over again. I've been on 30mg 13 weeks as of yesterday. So im holding out hope that within the next couple weeks I should see some significant improvement.

Its tough because I was having some more consistent good times, not entirely normal, but definite movement in the right direction, but its like the last week ive hit a blip so its a little hard to remember I was doing a lot better than I have been the last week. Its just so discouraging at times.

I'm curious, do you take your citalopram in the morning or before bed? And has your doctor ever mentioned not giving you more lorazepam. For some reason any doctor I've ever seen throughout this long process is so against lorazepam, or any benzo, and doesnt want to prescribe it. Like they'll prescribe a couple, but i have to go through hell at times to save them because I know I won't get anymore. I know why that is, but a couple pills doesnt get you far.

I totally get that. Every time I have a string of decent or good days and then have a terrible day, I'm just like why?? Like at least when you're normal, there's usually a reason you feel like crap - with this, it feels like there's no rhyme of reason which makes you feel so out of control.

So I take my citalopram in the morning. And yes, I've been taking .5mg lorazepam every night for a bit to help me sleep. I used to take one in the day every so often as well, but luckily I've improved to the point that I haven't felt the need! There are even many times recently I don't feel like I need my night one. I tried just taking half of a pill last night before bed, but I couldn't fall asleep. Not because I was anxious, but more likely because my body is so used to having the full .5mg to sleep. So I figure that will take some adjusting, I'm not in a huge rush to get off but I definitley want to sooner than later.

I read that your doctors are super stringent with the benzos - I get that. It makes the situation worse when you feel like you have to ration them out for when you 'REALLY' need them. Just makes it more stressful. Luckily my doctor obliged when I asked for a few more. They've been lifesavers, I don't know how people get through this without at least a few of them!

Hi,

I take it in the morning. I came into this with horrific insomnia. I thought morning would be better.

Regarding lorazepam, no i have not had any trouble getting it. I am still basically 0.5 per day which is the lowest dose possible. I have not exceeded that at all. Some days i go with half.

I was using zopiclone to sleep initially. Have been off that for several months.

I take the lorazepam very early. Oddly the further i get from it during the day the better i feel.

Hi there,

Just want to check in and see how youre doing?

Yesterday was a tough day for me. I ended up taking 1/2 lorazepam around noon because the ruminating was intense. At this point in this process I don't have the intense physical symptoms of anxiety that I used to, but my thoughts whirling is horrible at times. My tablets are 1mg so i usually just take a half one when I need to which is enough to take the edge off and it helps me ration them.

Today marks 14 weeks on 30mg. At this point I am noticing that I wake at 7:30 every morning almost on the dot, which seems odd, like i have an alarm clock in my head. The first half hour to an hour are tough, whirling thoughts, little shaky and out of it. Then I start feeling better, get going with my day, take my citalopram at 9am and about 2-3 hours later I start feeling crappy. Tired, whirling thoughts, just wanna hit the couch because i just feel ick and depressed. That lasts until evening when I start feeling better, could say almost normal.

Do you feel like your day fluctuates like that? Does it follow a pattern at all like that?

Hi there!

I'm so sorry yesterday was rough for you. I totally get the rumination and how most of your physical symptoms of anxiety are gone - I'm the same way. The only forms of anxiety I have now are just distressing thoughts about never feeling consistently normal again. Which in and of itself is a win to not have physical anxiety, but of course I just wish that the thoughts would go away too lol.

I definitley feel better in the evening too if I'm having a rough day. For the most part, my days don't fluctate hugely like they used to - if I don't feel great in the morning, I tend to not feel great until the evening when I take my benzo. I've moved down to taking 3/4 of my .5mg lorazepam every night, I'm slowly trying to taper off and just go to as needed.

I had a string of very decent normal feeling days (which is why I felt confident lowering the benzo), and then the last couple days I've just had a general uneasy/off feeling throughout the day. Not sure if that's from lowering the benzo even a miniscule amount... It's frustrating, but still so much better than I was. I'm on week 4 of 40mg, so in the scheme of things it's still pretty early on this dosage, so I'm praying my normal days will continue to increase. Every month seems to come with more improvement.

Have you had many decent days? What are those like for you?

Hi,

You have described my days exactly!

I take my 0.5 lorazepam early which has let me have some pretty normal days.

I am the same as far as my level of anxiety. The physical symptoms have actually been gone for at least a month, but the ruminating is tough. My thoughts aren't about everyday life, they're about whether citalopram will work, constantly counting my days, whether I need to increase my dose. I'm always looking for an answer to why i just don't feel good and normal. Very confusing and frustrating.

About a month ago, at the 2 month mark, I started feeling better, not normal but better. the side effects definitely tapered off, didnt even think about a lorazepam. Days were definitely more manageable for about 2-3 weeks. I definitely felt like i was making good progress. So i've definitely had decent days, but I havent had one day where I just felt normal yet.

Then i started going downhill, noticed my morning anxiety was worse, sleep was a little more difficult, blah and depressed, kinda zoned out. Just wanting to hit the couch. I've been dealing with that for about 2 weeks, with fluctuations like i described daily.

Its just such a difficult process and I never know what to do. Like I'm always trying to figure out how long I give it before I make a change.

Again, this is like i could have written it myself.

I have had a backslide too. My brain is constantly ruminating on when i will get better, should i increase my dose, how did i ever get like this.

I have read a couple of books and they both stress that the recovery is going to be like this. Gradually better with lots of slips backwards.

The books also stress not fighting the rumination or anxiety, but to accept it. The only real cure is time.

This is what did work for me last time. Every month better than the last until i was finally normal. But lots of concerning slips along the way.

Yes, my anxious thoughts are never about every day life either!! That's the craziness of it all. Not anxious or depressed about anything in my life, just about not feeling like myself. Which obviously in turn makes me feel more unlike myself. I try my best to just use acceptance, but there's a natural resistance because acceptance can feel like you're allowing the negative feelings and therefore they'll stay or grow. Even though it'd probably just help.

Definitely such a difficult process. I'm so sorry you both are going through it too. I know we'll all look back someday soon and not even remember what it felt like and life will feel easy again 😃 One of the hardest things is forgetting what life is like when it's not super difficult, but just trusting it won't always be this way.

Hi there, how are you doing?

Your words are EXACTLY it. I have a wonderful very normal life, but i cant shake this "i feel like crap and not like myself" feeling. Which like you said makes it worse and its a horrible cycle.

I can't wait for the day when we can all jump for joy because we made it through it and just feel normal everyday! And not even think about this horrible time any more. It's on my mind daily. I cant wait until I cant remember what it felt like to feel like this because it is such a distant memory. I honestly have a hard time remembering what normal really feels like its been so long. But i just keep going one day at a time, and holding out hope that its someday soon!

Hi everyone

i have read all your posts and it feels like i just write it all myself !! Word by word, feelings, fears, everything ! My name is Nataliya and i am 48 yo and just today have completed my 8 month on 20mg Fluoxetine. This journey has been the hardest i have ever encounter. Its brutal, its scary, its long and very lonely, because it is so hard to explain your feelings to people who have never experienced it, they just dont get it and thinking that you creating all that in your head.. YES, WE WILL GET BETTER.. Even though in the mid of the blip you believe that you will stuck like that forever, never recover or be yourself again.. And than when you have a good moment, you feel like you can take on the world, so hopeful and happy!

By reading your posts i can see we are all going through the same, so it means thats the way the meds work and slowly step by step we are getting better and better.

Please remember to come here and support each other, as it could be very scary and lonely in that "not me" world..

Thanks for stopping by to comment.

It definitely helps so know that there are lots of us who require many months on the medication to get back to normal. Every month I am better than the last. The first few months were horrific. Now I am back to normal almost all of the time.

Hi, thank you for replying 😃

How long have you been taking your medications? your posts are very inspiring and i believe reflecting the feelings of many many of us - looks like thats how these meds work.

I am 8 month on and still not 100% myself, but as you said, every month its better and the bad days i have were a good days few months ago.

Its long and hard way, but i believe that we could get back to our old selves, we just need time, love and understanding.

Please keep in touch and send us updates, hope you are all feeling better every day

Hi,

I'm glad you continue progressing.

I'm just over 5 months on citalopram. First month at 10mg and since then at 15mg.

The last ten days or so I've been 100% most of the time. Even the bad moments I now can be rational and realize that they aren't going to last.

Low blood sugar does seem to be a trigger for me.

Hi,

i am glad you are slowly improving.

Do you have on your bad days like you locked in your head and every thought kind of scary and you dont know what to do with yourself, you can not fully engage in anything you are doing.? If its make sense..

i Just need to believe that its just the way recovery goes, and everybody has different time frame for this, because its scaryng me that it is already 8 month an i am still not recovered..:(

"Do you have on your bad days like you locked in your head and every thought kind of scary and you dont know what to do with yourself, you can not fully engage in anything you are doing."

Yes. Exactly that. When I am off it is like life is going on around me but I'm in a constant state of rumination in my head. And every thing that happens around me triggers a negative thought.

Oh my god, its exactly right..! I got so tired of these scary thoughts today that burst into tears.. Feeling of hopelessness, feeling guilty doing these to my family, feeling weak(which i never was before and dealt with alot of things).

But than after its like curtain has lifted and i feel almost fine..

Try and remember that they are only thoughts. And with our brains stuck in flight or fight mode our brains create scary thoughts because that is what they evolved to do.

We are not our thoughts. We are the being that hears the thoughts. Think of a thought as a cloud passing by. You hear it, then it is gone. Our thoughts can't hurt us.

Accept that you are going to have thoughts like this for a while. Try not to worry about them (incredibly hard) and let them pass. The less we react to these thoughts the faster they will go away.

As I get better I can feel my brain searching for a scary thought to grab onto and now sometimes it doesn't. I'm free of them for most of the time now.

My motto has been "just keep going". That is all that we have to do. Accept the thoughts, let the medication help by balancing our chemicals and just keep going.

Sometimes i am just feeling so tired to wait to be myself again.. I have million questions in my head - is this feeling side effect or anxiety? should i up my dose? what if i will stuck feeling like that? what if it is not anxiety? will i ever recover ? what if i am one of those who meds don't help? what if this real me ? what if i am going crazy? Or are those all questions IS ANXIETY? But i did not have them before taking medicine? So it is huge turmoil in head.. but then there are moments that I AM MYSELF and i don't understand why i was even worried or anxious because everything makes sense and everything is clear.. And then morning comes and story repeats itself..

Thank you for your support and constant reminder that i am not alone, and a

lot of people going thought this and getting to other happy side. All these people that posting when starting their meds and feeling bad and then never come back - i want to believe that they have recovered and forgot all about it..

We just have to keep going, i want to believe that every day we are closer and closer to our recovery. And those good minutes, hours or momentums we have will become permanent and every day normal feelings..

Its my Day 240.. Wake up with slight anxiety, it is not that scary as annoying. Took my meds at 8am. Stuck a bit in my head, dont know what to do with myself. Than suddenly everything calm, clear and makes sense. And than again anxiety. its like up and down every few hrs..

Went grocery shopping, but there is something like shadow on back of my mind..

I need hope that i am going to recover and everything will be ok, and i will be myself again..

Everything you say resonates with me. Everything.

1- All of the questions in your head. That is what I ruminate on now. Thankfully much less often.

2- The fact that you weren't doing this before the medication. Everything became worse as soon as I started the meds. But now I am definitely better than I was before the medication. It just takes a long time for some people I guess.

3-The shadow in the back of your mind when grocery shopping. Again absolutely me. I can function completely normally and even kind of enjoy myself but sometimes there is just something in the back of my head telling me that everything isn't right.

The good news for me at least is that all of these things are getting less and less with each passing week.

I believe this is all anxiety. We just need to accept it as anxiety, that it can't hurt us and live normally. Stressing over it makes it worse. Accepting it accelerates the time it will take for it to go away.

Hi there! I'm not sure I ever replied to this!

I'm in a weird phase right now of having very normal feeling days, then some down days... today is a down day. But I know there are always better, more normal days to follow. It's very hard to not get anxious on these days, but I need to remind myself it's never been warranted.

Totally understand everything you said. Last time I recovered from this, I could only remember that it sucked - I couldn't really remember the actual feelings associated and was just so glad I wasn't there any more, which was great. In the same way, like you mentioned, when we've been here so long it's hard to remember what normal feels like. I know we we all get there, as many down days as it takes. Happy seasons will find us again. How have you been feeling?

hi there!

I haven't been feeling the greatest. Some days are a little better than others, but I'm not really have any great times. My better days are better, but not great.

I just posted another post about thoughts on adjusting my dose. I just feel after 4 months i should be having some truly normal times by now, even if they dont last, but I'm really not.

When your doctor decided to up you to 40mg, what concerns were you having that made him up it?

I'm so sorry you're still struggling. I read your other post as well. I think it may be worth it to try upping the dose and see that through. Fortunately I had no side effects from upping my dose - I did it by 10mg each time. I would hope it would be similar for you, especially being on the drug for some time now.

My doctor actually wanted me on 40mg earlier than I wanted, so I had given 30mg more time than he wanted but I found that eventually it just made sense to go up. I figured I'd always be wondering what 40mg would do, so I just took the plunge. Plus then I didn't have to keep cutting my pills. I'd say it was the right move for me, but obviously everyone is different. Totally get what you said about changing meds, that is a huge no for me as well. I'd consider adding something if it felt necessary, but I'm happy to be on citalopram the rest of my life if I don't have to go through this again!

I am so nervous about upping my dose i actually started getting significant anxiety when i was writing the message to my doctor this morning i had to take a lorazepam.

I just feel that after 4 months i should be seeing more positivity with this dose than I am.

Don't get me wrong things are better at times, but i havent been able to say yep this is working with full confidence. And of course, the changes are so subtle that it feels like its not doing anything at all eventho i know it is.

And yes, cutting the pills is horrible. Every time i do it I question if I got it exact enough.

I am hoping and praying that if I do up it that i dont have the horrendous side effects again, i never wanna go through that again. Once i get this settled i will NEVER be coming off of it...NEVER! This has by far been the worst thing i have ever experienced. It was probably just as bad when I started it 6 years ago, but dont really remember that like you said too. You know it sucked, but did it suck this bad, not sure.

I'm glad you are having days that feel pretty normal, that feeling gives motivation to keep going!

I totally understand. I remember when I went up from 10mg to 20mg I was mortified. Fortunately it turned out alright. It's so so hard to have to go through feeling worse in order to feel better. I'm praying they make substantial advances with these meds in the near future that take away the side effects as much as possible, and speed up the benefits. No one should have to go through the craziness, especially when they're already suffering. I'm really hoping you don't have many side effects if you go forward with the 40mg!

Yup, I'm right there with you. Never coming off of it ever. This is also the worst thing I've ever experienced, both times. Nothing has ever compared. I think the first time was a bit worse just because I had NO clue what was going on, and it took me 2 years to actually stick with an SSRI... just a really weird time in life. This time around has been more straight foward because I knew the cause and got on the med immediately, but I thought the progress would be much faster and much more linear. What helps me is reminding myself that in the scheme of things, this suffering is for a short span of time, compared to years without it. It feels like forever when you're in it, but then you look at your life and realize this kind of suffering is only small portions. My faith also helps me keep perspective and find hope. Hope is definitely key in these things.

I often wonder how so many people are on these meds. Putting up with it is just excruciating. On the other hand tho everybody has a different experience. I've talked to family members that are on SSRI's and their experience is way different than mine. My dad is on 40mg citalopram and his process was so straight forward and he was good to go by a month/2 months tops. I have family members that understand but then again dont. I talked with them this weekend and they couldnt believe after 4 months I was still struggling.

They're a lot of the reason I'm upping because they kept asking why I'm putting up with 30mg when i know 40mg worked for me before. Which i absolutely agree with but im always waiting for 30 to work. Like i keep waiting for some significant changes to make me quit questioning my dose. My biggest question is always at what time frame is enough, like how do you know when you've given it enough time?

I always think about that too-hoping and praying for better options!

It really is a short amount of time in life, but it feels like FOREVER.

I just keep telling myself, keep going, one day at a time!

I know, I can never believe when I hear people talking about 4-6 weeks and they made a full recovery. I'm super happy for them, but I'm like dang. What's the deal with me, lol.

Yeah the time frame is tricky - like you said, everyone is so different. I've typically gone with the advice of my doctor, who moves with the typical 4-6 week time frame for each dose. But I think he goes a little too quick, which is why I waited the last time he told me to increase. I talk to him tomorrow, I'm guessing if I tell him I'm still having bad days he's going to want to put me on something else in addition. But that's not something I'd consider until maybe 2 months in the future if I'm still not where I want to be.

One of the hardest parts is people thinking you should be better by now, because it's not like we don't agree! I thought I'd be better by now too and I definitely would be if it were up to me haha. Totally, one day at a time. You never know when there's a really good day coming your way!

I have typically gone with what my doctor says as well, but when all this happened in spring of 2022 the dr i had at the time bumped me up way past therapeutic within a month and a half and it was VERY bad, but at the time trusted my doctor. Now I've taken a different approach with a new doctor and spending way more time at each therapeutic dose.

I often wonder whats wrong with me too because it takes me so long to settle. I question that daily.

but i keep telling myself to trust the process.

Last year i also tried adding wellbutrin to escitalopram, that was soooo bad. I couldnt take it for longer than a week. It will take a lot for me to consider adding another med again.

Today has been a lot of anxiety and depression about upping my dose, I am dreading it so much.

The biggest mistake we do is setting "time frame" for our recovery.. And the worst is the doctors who is setting this time frame and who has never taken this medication.

I am on 9 month of 20mg Fluoxetine. I am one of the people that it takes very long time and if i would listen to doctors and up dose or change meds i would never known that i could recover - i just needed more time.

Please take it one day at the time, don't expect to just wake up and feel 100% - it wont happen. Recovery very gradual and slow, but you will get there. Compare your progress in months not weeks..

Patience, patience and patience once more.. It gets better 😃

That's definitely smart then. We have to remember we know our bodies and minds better than they do, what feels right and what feels very wrong. Trusting the process is so key... most doctors expect a med to work pretty quickly or it's not the right fit. Fortunately I have a wonderful therapist who has been on her share of meds, and she encourages me to listen to my body and not just my doctor when it comes to this stuff.

Maybe setting a goal for a month or two out, if you still aren't confident with your progress, then you consider upping? That's kind of what I did with the 30mg & 40mg.

Totally agree. It can be so hard to not put a timeline on our healing when we just want to get there so bad, but it's ultimately destructive. Just taking each day as it comes, knowing things will change no matter how you're feeling on a given day is key.

Patience is right. Trusting that the bad feelings don't last forever, they never do. Even if it really feels like it. We we all see the other side of this!

Hi Emma

its 8 months for me and i was frighten myself all the time that i am past time frame for recovery.

But last 3 days i have wake up without any anxiety at all.. First time in 8 months.. Its amazing feeling.. It is working, please look at me, i thought i will give up like 100 times.. But it is working.. I know that i will have blip again but its getting better and better:)

I am so happy to hear that!! Isn't it such a relief seeing such progress. I always love to remember 'this too shall pass'. As long as it takes, it will pass!

Its exactly that - as long as it takes. And you know what, recovery very strange - first you start to do things, and later you will start feel them. You will feel you are more active, you start to be more engaged but still will be kind of flat. But later on you will start feeling and happy feeling will return. I hope everyone that comes here just read our posts and get strength from that - you will recover, just give time and just try to keep going with your life as much as you can, no matter how hard or impossible it seems to be at the moment. You will get there:)

Thanks for this words!!