Trackingmyjourney

Posted , 14 users are following.

Hi,

Discussion welcome. I have an incredible wife to support me but I would love to share with folks here as well.

Briefly. My second time on Cit. I started november 2021 and dropped september 2022.

I mistakenly thought i had been fixed by addressing a b12 deficiency. Turns out it was the Cit. I started falling apart slowly i October and maxed out in January with brutal insomnia and depression sinking in.

So far 4 weeks at 10mg and 2 weeks at 15mg. It has been tough, i get extreme side effects from starting up and changing doses. Sent me sobbing on the couch multiple times. Intrusive thoughts and waves of anxiety that I am managing with one 0.5 lorazepam per day.

Taking half a zopiclone to sleep as well.

I do not know the cause of my chemical imbalance. I am 49 and have had the easiest happiest life imaginable until this.

I suspect i have been given this suffering to learn some lessons......and i can say empathy oozes from me now.

I look forward to chatting with anyone who is interested. I am going to track my progress here so that i can look back and see progress.

Thanks

4 likes, 391 replies

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  • Edited

    Hello everyone, Im constantly reading this post, and this is very helpfully for me. im on week 20, and is a real rollercoaster for me. now on 30mgs , 10 full weeks and 8 weeks on 20mgs. but this week is hard for me. Low mood, fatigue, apathy. Im strugling so were in the same boat.

    • Edited

      Welcome!

      So you've been on 30mg for 10 full weeks? I know you said you're struggling this week, but have you had any good moments up to this point?

      Is this your first antidepressant?

      It helps knowing there's someone else out there going through the same and knows what its like.

    • Posted

      Hello, Thanks for your answer!

      Thats is my second journey on Antidepressants. I did 14 months on Zoloft/ Sertraline/ and weaned off on 2 months, but 6 weeks after I started with anxiety, low mood, brain zaps, needle and pins, Dr said a relapse, so he started prozac . I believe that was a withdrawal, any way Im on on 16 weeks on prozac , now 10 weeks on my new dose.

      I had some good days, but this is a full rollercoaster, and this week is hard, very low mood, fatigue, morning anxiety. Im worry now.

    • Edited

      Don't worry Victor, its all normal, every dose increase is like starting from beginning - with side effects, but it will settle. Recovery goes as ups and downs.

    • Edited

      Hi Victor,

      Thanks for dropping by to comment.

      I was hoping that tracking my journey would start to create some conversation amongst those of us who have to travel a long road to recovery with these medications.

      I had some sort of breakdown initially in November 2021. My doctor put me on 20mg of citalopram and things got really worse for a couple of months. Then they gradually got better. I went off at the end of August 2022. I honestly didn't think it was the citalopram that fixed me, I thought I had addressed multiple vitamin/mineral deficiencies that I may have created through years of endurance running.

      Came back on citalopram in January of 2023.

      So my first recovery to get to feeling 100% all of the time took pretty much 9 months. It got progressively better all along but it was a long journey.

      This time the same thing. Citalopram side effects initially were horrific. But I'm slowly getting there. I've had some really good stretches over the past month. But the down days still make me think I will never fully recover and the morning anxiety is still present.

      Patience is the only way through this.

    • Posted

      Did you have success with the zoloft you were on? How does your journey starting zoloft compare to starting the prozac? I have never been on either of those, but i would imagine the process for all of them is the same..HORRIBLE!

      Did your dr give you a benzo like lorazepam or clonazepam to help you through the beginning stage?

    • Edited

      Hi Victor. Ive recovered fully in the past with Citalopram. Came off them for 9 months...now wishing i hadn't!

      2 months in (mainly on 40mg). First 3/4 weeks were awful...just awful. Now i am having periods of calm for a few days, feeling pretty normal, followed by feeling flat/low, occasionally resorting to Lorazepam (1mg) when at its worst - only 3 times in the last month - these periods make me worry it'll never go away, but it eventually does.

      Have been taking CBD oil too but am going to stop it as ive read about negative interactions. Sending love and positive vibes to anyone suffering.

  • Edited

    hello im on the 10 mil but i take half of it every night im on day 3 but did u ever wake up out your sleep feeling anxious and cant breath?

    • Posted

      Hi,

      Yes. Anxiety was an immediate side effect of citalopram for me. It became much worse than what I had before taking the medication.

      I'm still working through morning anxiety that I think is caused by the medication. It is lessening over time.

    • Edited

      ty i guess the shortness of breath is from the panic attacks but ty for the advise

  • Posted

    Starting or adjusting antidepressants can cause side effects like anxiety. It may take time for medication benefits to show. Be cautious with sleep and anxiety meds like Lorazepam and Zopiclone, discussing their use with your doctor. Sharing your journey can offer support. Keep your doctor updated and seek mental health guidance if needed.

  • Posted

    hi how is everyone doing in this thread?

    im 11 weeks tomorrow - 6 weeks on 20mg and 5 weeks on 30mg. still very up and down. feel like im forcing myself to do things i usually enjoy but im certainly not enjoying them which makes me feel worse 😦 been following this thread and it is really helpful. not sure wether to go up to 40mg or allow more time x

  • Posted

    9.5 months for me today

    i had all the side effects, mainly increased anxiety that made white knuckle it through work and going to bed right after

    i saw glimpses of hope which is why i stayed on it

    the bad days would come sometimes 4 days in a row of heightened anxiety and intense fear but there were good days, and that meant something

    i started seeing a therapist out of frustration and made me realize i had a lot to work on

    therapy mixed with the drug has given me a new life and i remain teachable

    its made me a better person, a better boss, a better employee, boyfriend and son

    anyone going through it, stay with it

    be the best possible person to yourself it takes a lot of patience and persistence. i got over the hump about 6 months on it.

    20 mg

    • Posted

      Fantastic! I'm so happy for you.

      I think I'm just over the hump now myself and it feels great!

      It is very interesting how many of us take 6 to 9 months to get there.

      Thank you for sharing a positive message!!!

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