You know what I hate?

Someone suggested that most PMR sufferers had suffered from STRESS (written big!)  earlier in life, that's what 'causes' PMR.  

My very first post on this forum was "What happens after PMR".  Masses of answers, half dealing with stress - not PMR or Pred!!!

On another forum today someone had suggested that for many people there had been a traumatic bereavement shortly before the PMR appeared. That, I thought, was a bit extreme! A few people have been widowed or lost a parent but I really don't think they are in a majority at all.

And then of course - what you call stress and what I call stress may be totally different.

I'm not sure what 'stress' is!  Is it what we used to call work?  People seem to feel stress just getting on with everday jobs/relationships, etc.  I can never remember my mother talking about stress.

Jeepers Susanne, that's both judgemental and incredibly ignorant. You must have amazing self-restraint!!  I'd never let her away with that . . . .  J

Constance: Think so, yes... No, me neither.

Yes, Juno , it's ignorant, but she actually meant well though, but then I find a lot of people have opinions on what I need to do in order to get well, including acupuncture and eating only natural foods.

Some people also cannot understand how I can one day be reasonably ok and able to do things and then the next, have to call off meeting with them.

Susanne, google The Spoons Theory, by Christine Miseriando (Spelling?!)

She actually has Lupus, but the 'Spoons' idea is brilliant.  I think ALL newcomers should read it and show it to their family and friends.

I started by using 20 (theoretical) spoons per day and when they were gone, they were gone - no more that day!!

I don't use them now unless I am having a particularly bad week.  Then I give myself 10 only, and that's it for the day!

Constance, the Spoons Theory is great, I have read it before, and it's a perfect illustration. I try to use it, but do tend to get carried away on a good day.

Yesterday was a good day and what did I do! Because I'd just got a new, very special food mixer, I decided to bake not one cake, but two and then threw in a loaf of bread as well. That's me, I can't do things by halves! I should know better.

And today I'm suffering the consequences, being exhausted and barely able to move. I also had my flu jab yesterday, so that might have added to my exhaustion.

You'd think I'd learned by now, but it's as if I need to grab my good days and pack in what I can.

The thing about the Spoons Theory, - how do you know how many Spoons to allocate to each activity? I suppose it depends on how hard each one is, so for me it could be 3 for getting up, shower etc, 10-15 for food shopping, 10 for cooking etc.

Morning Susanne.  I think we all over do it when we feel good (or 'relatively' good).  I've had PMR for 5 years now, and I still haven't learnt!😏

Meant to continue!

I was on my own for 3 years - I mean without this forum.  Then my rheumatologist told me my PMR was in remission - blood results within 'normal' range.  I was still in a bad way, pains in shoulders, upper arms, wrists, hips, knees and ankles!!  I was so frustrated I went on the internet and read more and more about PMR, then I found this site.😁👍

When the Spoons Theory came up, I thought 'I don't believe it', but anything was worth a try.

For me it worked brilliantly.  I started with the 20 per day, as recommended and, like you, found I'd used the spoons by 11am.  Then I learnt to pace myself very quickly - how it helped!!  I still use my 'spoons' occasionally, but I  realise now some of the pain is OA and severe tendonitis.

All the best.

Constance

How do you know? By the experience of seeing how you get on when you allocate x spoons to an activity - if you still feel good it was probably right or too much, If you don't - it wasn't enough!

You see - if you had made the cake and put the new toy away, you'd have been able to make the bread today and not be feeling disgusting to go with it. A pleasure deferred is a pleasure gained - you would also have had the pleasure of anticipation.

And that 10-15 for food shopping? Take it down a long way by using online shopping and delivery for all the things you don't really NEED to choose yourself. Then nip to the little shops to buy the perishables and get some face to face contact and a coffee or something for a rest.

It's a learning experience to be sure - but one that will stand you in good stead. I got the hang of it a long time ago - I do what absolutely must be done then what I want to do. But while for some people that means ironing their socks and underwear, I fold them off the line and put them away. Prioritisation.....

Wise words as always Eileen. I'm going to try harder to be kind to myself.

Today, I went to my art supply shop and then had lunch next door. A nice treat, but it still tired me out. So, now I'm resting on the sofa and dinner is out of the freezer.

Now that is an interesting question.  How many of us did suffer some kind of unusual stress or trauma at a young age?  And how could you ever quantify it, children being, like the rest of us, so variable in their responses to life events?

Back to 'spoons'!   I find showering, dressing exhausting, too!  (3-4 spoons). Thank goodness I'm only allowed to shower twice a week (very dry, flakey skin (skin dr's orders)!  Rest of the week a warm flannel, no soap, has to do the trick.

Wow!  10-15 for food shopping?  I allow 2!  Mind you, I LIKE shopping (as long as I have a trolley or rollator).  I like cooking as well, not the preparing and standing, so only 3 for that.  That leaves me quite a lot of 'bursts' of 10 minutes to do the rest of the chores.  I really have learnt how to pace myself.

Maybe 10-15 spoons for shopping is a bit too high. 10 though would be about right (out of 20 spoons). Probably because I always seem to start out tired, and I'm still recovering from pneumonia which has really sapped my energy levels.

So it is time to behave like a poorly person who is recovering from a very serious illness on top of a chronic one. Miracles DON'T happen I'm afraid - you have to make your own.

Sorry to hear you are so under the weather.  Of course our age doesn't help, especially with something like pneumonia.  Didn't you have the pn jab?

If you ever feal like having a general natter to chear you up, please send me a private message.  I can't send you one myself because I have no little envelopes under peoples names.  I'd love to have a pen-pal in the UK.  I've lived in Germany for 45 years so I'm rather out of touch with England.

Get well soon.

Constance 💐

Excuse the spelling.  Old age has got me well and truly with that!!

Umm, shopping when you are already tired means you didn't actually have any spoons for it.  

I fell asleep - for a second I don't think anyone else noticed - at choir yesterday evening.  I knew I had no spoons left, but I wasn't going to miss choir!  

I've sent you a pm Constance.

I'm trying! 😃

hi Suzanne

i know how you feel. i over did for 1 week knowing i would crash a bit but life happens and things and it really push me over. Bed ridden for days now pneumonia set in but on antibiotics instantly. I've had it many times in the past and had the vaccine years ago and have been good.

i did this to me, big lesdon learned and i truly need to learn "no"😕

get well

Oh, pneumonia, Mariane, hope you get better soon. It takes such a long time to get over. I hope you have someone to look after you.

I've recently had my 6-week check up and x-ray. It still shows something there and crackling on the lung, but they won't give me any more antibiotics at this stage, so as everyone says, I'll just have to learn to take it easy and realise that I'm not well.

my gp is awesome and as soon as i felt the wez and rattle I'm on antibiotics. so I'm like a week or more ahead of most people in getting antibiotics which truly nips it in the butt. i literally feel improvement 1st day by day 3 way better.

i rested the last few days and hubby and i off on a road trip . i slept in the car in the morning so feel good and listening to wonderful pod casts. for me this is doing less than being home.

you take care.

Interesting : I went through a year of bad stress with my 92 year old mum, she passed end of Feb 2016, I had a episoide in April and was told I had PMR and GCA ....  But I do feel I had it for at least a year before they told me ....