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why did i test positive and my partner didn't?

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rda85
rda85

I have been diagnosed with hsv 2 last week, my partner tested negative.  I dont understand that how is it possible that i only have it? we had unprotected sex for a month. We are both depressed.  I feel disgusted with myself for having this. We care about eachother alot but i do not want to give him this nasty disease. Were both saddened by not being able to be with eachother. How do people continue to have a sex life if u can always transmit the disease? ?

5 likes, 165 replies

165 Replies

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  • SW12345
    SW12345 rda85

    Posted

    Unfortunately it is likely your partner has it. Many, if not most, people test negative in blood and urine tests as they are really weak tests. Most people do not know they have it until they have an outbreak, as swabbing the sores is the only accurate way to diagnose. I must have gotten herpes from my boyfriend, but he is yet to have an outbreak, but we both know he must have it. He's just lucky I guess! To be honest it is best to be with each other because you both have it, and it saves the awkward conversation with someone else. With each other you can try to carry on as normal, although avoid any kind of sex when you have an active outbreak
    • rda85
      rda85 SW12345

      Posted

      Ya we decided to stay together,  Actually it kinda brought us closer, i still feel embarrassed tho i dont want to give it to him. What precautions do u and ur bf use so he doesn't get an outbreak?  And does this mean i can never get oral sex preformed on me? sad
    • jessica77605
      jessica77605 SW12345

      Posted

      I been with my boyfriend 9 yrs, we both had out moment of cheating... unfortunately I found out i was hsv1&2 well I'm so nervous because he tested on saturday, what the possibility of him having it even after 8 year of unprotected

  • KL090192
    KL090192 rda85

    Posted

    I just found out two weeks ago I tested possitive for herpes. I went in because I thought a shaving nick became infected and the Dr. told me it wasn't an infected wound it was a herpes sore (the cut next to it probably didn't help). I have no idea when I started having outbreaks because I get a lot of rashes, in grown hairs, and shaving nicks (or at least I thought they were all rashes and in grown hairs). I've only had three sex partners total and I've been in a commited relationship for almost 5 years. The Dr. says I most likely got it from one of my past partners. The guy I'm with now has not had sex with anyone other than me so I know I did not get it from him. The Dr. said its possible to have herpes but not have any symptoms because the virus can lay dormant for years before showing signs.

    Since I just found out I told my boyfriend and he got his blood tested. But his tests came back negative. It said he had been exposed to both strains of the virus but he still doesn't have it. Which is good but confusing, I thought since I've had it for a long time he would surely have it. But maybe its like what person SW12345 said "Many, if not most, people test negative in blood and urine tests as they are really weak tests. Most people do not know they have it until they have an outbreak..."

    So it's possible for my boyfriend to have it but not have any symptoms. I know this is about to sound really sh*tty, but I do wish he had been confirmed positive for it so I wouldn't be going through this alone.

     

    • Jasmine06
      Jasmine06 KL090192

      Posted

      I feel my situation is really similar to yours. I started noticing itchy red bumps and thought that they were caused by shaving too. I went to see my OB/GYN today, and she said that they looked like herpes. She did a swap test and I'm still waiting for the test result.

      I was diagnosed with genital warts caused by HPV more than two and half years ago. I believe that i got it from the guy who I dated for a very short amount of time. After that, I met my current boyfriend. I was really honest with him and told him what I have on our second date. He is really understanding and surpportive. We've been together for more than two and half years. The warts never came back after the initial "breakout". I thought I would never have it again. However, now I could possibily get genital herpes which are 150% worse than warts in my opinions. Me and my boyfriend are very honest and faithful to each other. He got STD test a year ago, and it was negative. But my doctor told me a regular STD test doesn't test for herpes, so most likely he will have it too. He's going to get it tested. 

      I'm feeling the same as you are. I would rather have him has it as well. I know it's a very selfish thought, but I don't know if I could keep dating him while knowing only myself carrying the virus and could pass it on him. 

      I'm feeling ashamed, guilty, frustrated...

      I wish I could've taken a much better care of myself when everything is not too late...

    • jessica77605
      jessica77605 Jasmine06

      Posted

      Me too😢😢😢😢😢 I was just told i have it too..... two days ago!!!!!😭😭😭😭😭😭

    • francis37794
      francis37794 jessica77605

      Posted

      No and no we haven't. He more or less says he isn't the one carrying it. Yeah pretty much won't take a drug test or let me see his phone so I'm bidding my time just until I can financially get a divorce. He is very Adament about not letting go.

    • francis37794
      francis37794 sweetest0832972

      Posted

      Yes and came back negative. Thank God but I am still very Leary when it comes to having sex with him again.
    • Guest
      Guest KL090192

      Posted

      I have same feeling and situation like yours =(
  • FelizCastus
    FelizCastus rda85

    Posted

    To those of you here with test-confirmed HSV-2, can I invite you to add to a thread I created?

    Trying to find an easier way to identify/group fellow Type 2 folk, since we really have it quite differently to those with Type 1.

    Also, trying to get a better idea of outbreak frequency and the impact of prior HSV-1 (hence my cold sore question). Thanks!

    Thread link is:

    https://patient.info/forums/discuss/hsv-2-only-who-else-and-how-often-do-you-have-outbreaks--485196

  • kevin26685
    kevin26685 rda85

    Posted

    I'm Kevin I have never had sex before,I masturbated in a latex condom a few days ago, and today I'm seeing red spot on my penis and tiny bumps on my penis head, can this be herpes? The condom was brand new, I don't what to think I'm stressed out. Please help me

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  • Forgiven0
    Forgiven0 rda85

    Posted

    OK about a week ago I get a bump on my penis didn't think much of it I'm out in the woods thought it was a tick bite pulled 2 off of me the week before I went to a doctor anyway said it didn't look like herpes gave me cream the next day started burning in left thigh and a burn at the beginning of urination so I go to hospital they say it doesn't look like herpes but a tick bite so the next day I decided to get tested for herpes 1 and 2 results come back negative I told my girlfriend to get tested been in a relationship 6 years she came back positive with no symptoms which I know she can be asymptotic but why am I testing negative we both discussed it honestly she told me when she was 15 her doctor said it looked like she had a genital wart but another doctor told her she didn't so why would I still show negative if she was a carrier since 15

  • jack51490
    jack51490 rda85

    Posted

    Maybe he could have it and just have no symptoms or very minor he doesnt notice? I am also depressed from this. This isnt much help but my sex life is non exsitent but mainly by choice as i dont want to spread it however the transmission rate is very low with meds and protection.
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