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Hi, I've just had my first appointment with the clinical psychologist who will then decide who best to send me to next within the mental health team. I rambled on about so many things to her but something I didn't mention was goal directed activity, as I wasn't actually sure if any of what I experience counts as such. Can anyone relate to these examples?:
1) A number of years ago we were having a new kitchen and bathroom put in. I spent hours and hours (sometimes forgetting to eat or drink) each day for weeks looking and researching online everything from cookers, to cupboard doors to cupboard handles. I was intent on getting the absolute best price, best design, for the best price. I spent so long doing this I would make myself feel ill, from concentrating so hard, going back and forwards checking and rechecking on different sites, not moving out of my seat for hours one end.
I've realised I do this type of thing a lot. Trying to get the absolute perfect deal/gift/item of clothing or whatever. Even just researching stuff. I can get completely consumed and even be bursting for a pee but not move as I just need to check one more thing I've thought of!
2) A few years ago my husband suggested I get spotify. I did but instead of just bunging on some tunes I spent hours and hours again for days on end going through album after album after album after album (....) making sure I got the most 'perfect' list. (I didn't always listed to the entire song each time though!) Even songs I really like didn't make it because they didn't 'fit' whatever idea of perfect I had at that time. I really spent a ridiculous amount of time on this. I was initially really pleased with it once I was done, but the interest quickly faded and I ended up eventually getting rid of it altogether because I never used it!
Again, this type of behaviour has come out in other ways, such as making lists of paintings I like and becoming obsessed with an online art shop, wishlisting my perfect paintings. I've done this one on more that one occaision.
3) Deciding on a new topic to study or new hobby and buying all the relevant books or materials, and being really into it for a while, then just...not! I find this one to be particularly frustrating.
Does anyone else do something similar and are these the type of things that might be classed as goal-directed? So far I've only be diagnosed with anxiety and depression but anti-depressants (different classes) so far have not had the desired affect. I'm wondering if there might be more to my moods.
Any insight would be great, thanks
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