Breaking free from masking: how to understand and overcome it

What is masking?

Masking refers to the suppression of neurodivergent traits to fit into socially 'typical' environments and meet conventional expectations. It's widely observed in people with neurodevelopmental conditions such as autism or ADHD.

Dr Mikki Lee Elembaby, licensed psychologist, Clarity Therapy, New York City, USA explains that masking can occur on a conscious or unconscious level. It often involves observing and mimicking neurotypical behaviours.

"Masking is a survival strategy that neurodivergent people often use to navigate a world designed for neurotypical people," says Elembaby. "A major reason for masking in these conditions is fear of judgment, misunderstanding, and exclusion."

She adds that while it is common for neurotypical people to adjust their behaviour to fit social contexts - such as being more formal at work versus when with friends - masking in neurodivergent people takes significantly more effort. It goes beyond social adaptation and involves suppressing their authentic self-expression, often at great psychological cost.

How to tell if someone is masking

Detecting the signs of masking can be hard, as it's often a deliberate effort to conceal traits the person feels sets them apart from others.

Dr Mosun, Member of the Royal College of Psychiatrists, West Midlands, UK says the signs of masking can be subtle and often differ from person to person.

"It may be difficult for people to notice these signs," explains the consultant psychiatrist for Cassioburt Court, Watford. "However, healthcare providers and loved ones are more likely to recognise a mismatch between their external behaviour and how they truly feel."

What are the effects of masking?

Although masking may offer temporary benefits in social situations, it can have harmful long-term effects on your mental health.

Mosun explains that, in the short term, masking can provide a sense of acceptance or relief from social pressure. However, this can cause increased stress and feelings of isolation, potentially contributing to anxiety and depression.

"This can lead to physical impacts - such as exhaustion, regular feelings of nausea and sleeping issues," she says. "Over time, this can develop long-lasting mental health struggles and an ongoing battle with identity, leading to a drop in self-esteem and difficulty forming authentic connections with people."

"Masking does not necessarily protect against social rejection," she says. "So that, coupled with long-term masking, can also lead to trauma responses over time."

How to stop masking

There are practical steps you can take to reduce your reliance on masking, enhance your emotional wellbeing, and cultivate a more accepting outlook towards your true self.

Therapeutic approaches

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) foster self-awareness and can help you better understand and embrace your neurodivergent traits.

Mosun explains that these approaches create safe spaces for you to express your authenticity, and challenge negative beliefs about your neurodivergence without fear of judgement.

Elembaby adds: "One strategy is journaling about moments when you feel the most authentic versus when you feel you are masking. Another therapeutic method is reframing negative self-talk from thoughts like "I’m weird” to "I have unique strengths."

"An additional self-acceptance strategy is encouraging self-affirmation and recognising masking behaviours without shame".

Join a support network

Linking up with a support group of fellow neurodivergent people can provide a safe space to learn from one another, and provide mutual support for a sense of community and understanding.

"This can help you connect with others who share similar experiences, and can foster authenticity," says Elembaby.

Encourage supportive environments

Environments that are accommodating and foster a genuine understanding of neurodivergent experiences can significantly reduce the pressure to mask.

Elembaby explains that sensory-friendly environments can scale down sensory overload and minimise masking.

She adds that therapists and educators should be aware of the signs of masking and avoid reinforcing it by expecting neurotypical behaviour.

Masking can have a huge detrimental effect on your mental health, leading to serious health conditions such as stress, anxiety and depression.

Mosun warns that masking can weaken your sense of self and make it harder for you to grow, because it stops you from understanding your own needs, feelings, and desires.

She concludes: "Ultimately, reducing masking and fostering environments that allow for authenticity can have a profound positive impact on your mental health and overall quality of life."