Building resilience: how to bounce back from life's challenges

What is resilience?

Resilience is often seen as an inner emotional strength that helps you cope with stressful or challenging life events. It’s not just something you're born with - it’s a skill that can be developed over time through experience, practice, and support from a mental health professional.

Laura Greenwood, Psychotherapist, Laura Greenwood Therapy, Holmfirth, UK explains that personal resilience is something we can all build over time.

"It comes from facing life's challenges and hardships, which are unavoidable," she says. "It means experiencing such hardships and allowing ourselves to process and learn from them. This enables us to grow into a person who is wiser when facing further challenges."

Greenwood believes that building resilience starts with learning to process challenges in a balanced way - by allowing yourself to fully embrace the emotions they bring.

Why is resilience good for mental health?

Building resilience - especially in response to stress - can lower your chances of developing mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression. By learning to cope with life’s struggles in healthy, constructive ways, you can strengthen your emotional response and reduce the likelihood of more serious mental health issues developing over time.

Greenwood explains that learning to regulate your emotions during difficult setbacks helps you build the confidence to face future challenges more effectively. In turn, this helps strengthen our mental resilience and sense of stability.

"This does not mean we do not struggle," she says. "Because an absence of struggle is not only unhealthy - it is impossible. Mental health and strength, like resilience, comes from being knocked down, to get back up again, and go, 'Hey, look at me, I got through it! Maybe I am stronger than I realised.'"

Symptoms of stress and trauma

It's perfectly normal for your emotions to feel intensified during stressful events or in the aftermath of trauma.

According to Greenwood, you may have a range of emotions.

She adds that the duration of these emotions can depend on the intensity and length of the experience, as well as whether it triggers past trauma.

"There is no right or wrong amount of time to process and grow from trauma," she says. "However, if you feel that you are ‘stuck’ in a particular emotional state and you are not moving through different emotional stages, you may benefit from further support in processing this trauma."

How to build emotional resilience

You can strengthen your emotional resilience through a mix of mindfulness practices, healthy lifestyle choices, and supportive relationships - including, when needed, guidance from a mental health professional.

Feel freely

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, as though there’s never enough time - or enough support - to address our emotions properly. Some learning techniques, however, encourage us to move away from the instinct to suppress or avoid our feelings in response to life’s challenges.

Greenwood says that, as a society, many of us are living with unprocessed trauma.

"To build resilience from stressors and trauma, we need to allow ourselves to embrace our feelings," she explains. "So allow yourself to feel every emotion. None are good or bad, or right or wrong - they just are. If you feel them, you feel them for a reason. They also will not go away if you try to avoid them."

Greenwood advises you to process your emotions in a way that feels most accessible for you.

"Do what works for you to allow yourself to feel your feelings, and notice them shift and move without fear," she adds. "Seeking support through a professional - such as a psychotherapist - can help learn this skill that we all can tap into."

Pause and be present

Stepping away from your daily routine to sit still with yourself can be a powerful way to build resilience.

Greenwood describes this emotional awareness practice as a powerful catalyst for emotional regulation, self-healing, and personal growth.

"Many people struggle to pause, to connect with themselves and their emotions," she says. "However, this is ok. It's normal to stop and ask yourself this question many times before the answer slowly starts to come to you."

She describes emotional awareness - and, by extension, emotional regulation - as a skill. It takes time, dedication, and consistent practice to develop. However, it’s a skill worth cultivating, as it supports your mental health, and overall wellbeing, and strengthens resilience.

Lead with your lifestyle

Often, the most important piece of advice is also the simplest - to foster self-esteem, growth, and resilience, begin by prioritising the health of your body.

Greenwood warns: "If you're sleep deprived and not nourishing your body with food or hydration, recovering from any challenge will be a longer process.

"We naturally process trauma and challenges in our sleep, and so a lack of sleep means you're unable to rely on your body’s natural healing abilities."

Step up on support

Seeking support through social connections or groups can play a vital role in helping you heal and recover from life’s challenges.

Greenwood recommends choosing these connections thoughtfully, as the correct support can make all the difference.

"The key is in finding the right people," she says. "These are people who have your best interests at heart. People who offer support without jumping in to try and fix the problem for you, as you cannot build personal resiliency this way.

"We want our friends and family to support us, but they shouldn't do the hard work for you. You must come back to recognising you are capable of overcoming challenges yourself, to recognise our own worth and abilities to cope with struggles."

Simple advice for building resilience

Navigating difficult times and the emotions they bring is never easy. It takes strength and self-awareness to build resilience and overcome life’s challenges.

Greenwood encourages you to acknowledge and validate these experiences, rather than pushing your feelings aside.

"There is nothing wrong with you for struggling - remember you are only human," she says. "Whilst this struggle may not feel pleasant, let yourself feel whatever you feel because doing so will mean you can move through it."

Greenwood recommends that you allow yourself to move through your emotions at a pace that feels right for you - neither avoiding your pain nor holding on to it.

"Pain, trauma, struggle, and emotion are meant to flow, and they will if you let them," she explains. "Always remember, if you're finding it difficult to use any of these tips or tools on your own, professional support is available to help you along the way."