Surviving holidays

Holidays, high days and holy days are meant to bring us together yet they’re often some of the most stressful, emotionally charged moments of the year. In this episode, Clare and Aileen unpack why occasions like Christmas, family holidays and big celebrations can feel so fraught, even when everyone has the best intentions.

They explore the pressure of expectation fuelled by advertising, tradition and comparison and how rarely we talk about what we actually want from these events. From clashing family rituals and partner expectations to the minefield of gift-giving, seating plans and whose house we’re going to this year, they show how easily tension builds when assumptions go unspoken.

The conversation digs into the realities of being “stuck together”, disrupted routines, packed schedules, different generations under one roof, and the micro-aggressions, digs and comparisons that can quietly erode goodwill. Clare and Aileen talk candidly about biting your tongue, pressure-cooker moments, jealousy, sibling dynamics, and the dread of seeing a conflict coming before it explodes.

They also offer compassionate, practical ways to approach these occasions differently. Topics include:

• Choosing a purpose for the day to stay grounded.

• Letting go of perfection and unrealistic schedules.

• Being realistic about what’s actually possible.

• Parking difficult conversations for later rather than tackling them in the heat of the moment.

• Using appreciation, connection and “bids for attention” to lower tension.

• Having a support person or role if you’re attending alone.

Drawing on therapy, theatre and lived experience, they encourage listeners to stay flexible, responsive and present, allowing space for mishaps, changed plans and new rituals to emerge. Rather than trying to recreate an idealised version of the past, they invite us to meet people as they are now, and to see each gathering as alive, changeable and new.

Warm, reassuring and deeply recognisable, this episode reminds us that struggling with holidays doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong - it means you’re human.